


Sparks

by RosalindsGhost



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Feelings, Healing Sex, Implied/Referenced Torture, No porn until later chapters, Poe has a competency kink if you squint, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-TLJ, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rey has a praise kink if you squint, SPOILERS FOR THE LAST JEDI, Slow Burn, THE SLOWEST BURN GUYS, THERE'S PORN NOW, That's Not How The Force Works, That's Still Not How The Force Works, damerey is endgame, minor rey/ben solo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-21 05:21:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 53,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13734000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosalindsGhost/pseuds/RosalindsGhost
Summary: Hope flees with what remains of the Resistance. As the air around her churns with collective sorrow, horror, and doubt, Rey doubles her focus on ensuring the Falcon won’t take the last members of the Resistance Fleet down with it. She makes repairs – something to do with her hands, something that requires no thought – otherwise, she will be completely overwhelmed. Luke is gone. Han is gone. Leia is hanging on by a thread. Rey is trying to step into several roles that are so beyond her experience that she feels like a complete farce every time she sees one of them watching her like she’s the last hope in the galaxy.And then there is the matter of Poe.





	1. Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is a bit derivative, I will be the first to admit, but I loved The Last Jedi and I loved those twenty seconds at the end, so I'm posting this anyway.
> 
> The writing process for this one has actually been quite interesting for me, wherein I've basically written a bunch of vignettes that will be knitted together to form a story. Not my usual style.
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

The door to the _Falcon_ closes with a hiss and a thud. As it does, Rey closes off the bridge between herself and the man she believed could once again be Ben Solo. A fresh wave of emotion at Luke’s passing threatens to overwhelm her, but Rey does her best to let it go – she feels instinctively that the bond between herself and Kylo Ren is open more readily any time her feelings are particularly intense. This revelation was swift and absolute – the Bond opens when Rey is in distress.

So, she tries to find her own version of the serenity and balance that Luke cautioned her to reach for. And she closes the door on Ben Solo for what she hopes is forever.

~~

They make their escape. All told, there are fewer than fifty survivors of the four hundred that came before, and still, the Falcon is packed to the brim.

_Breathe. Just breathe._

Rey repeats Luke’s words to herself over and over – it becomes a mantra of sorts – as she tries to sift her own feelings out of the waves of emotion pouring from the rest of the remaining members of the Resistance. Now that she has deliberately reached out into the unending flow of the Force, she finds she has trouble separating herself from the current. It’s heady and terrifying to feel consumed and harnessed by such a power.

Momentarily, Rey immerses herself in the pounding release of relief around her. There is sorrow, too, but despite their massive losses, Rey wonders at the tiny spark of hope she senses beneath the despair. She looks up from her little friend BB-8 as she pinpoints the epicentre of that piercing blade of hope – a person.

Hope seems to bleed from him like light through the rusted joints of her AT-AT, but she feels the darkness there, too. There is regret and sorrow, and something else, buried too deep for her to identify. The hope, though, is the overwhelming emotion, and those nearest to him in proximity seem to have caught an echo of the mysterious, boundless font.

Rey examines the man, curious about what would make him so exceptional that he is actively pushing back the darkness around him. He’s a bit older than her, perhaps by as much as a decade, if the fine lines around his eyes are any indication of his chronological age.

He looks like he smiles a lot.

His skin is a gorgeous deep gold, and his hair curls around his forehead in a way that suggests a certain unruliness of spirit. She has no doubt it requires some work to tame.

 _It’s a good face,_ Rey thinks.

The man notices her scrutiny, and before Rey has the chance to even feel properly embarrassed, a dazzling smile lights his face, and he moves to come over and talk with her. She stands – it is important to her to meet on equal footing.

He sticks his hand out to her, the move so casually confident. “Hi. I’m Poe.”

In spite of herself, she smiles in return. It’s a challenge to keep herself guarded against the force of his charisma. “I’m Rey,” she says, and feels a small thrill creep up her spine as he takes her hand and says: “I know.”

~~

Quickly, the sheer number of people around her becomes overwhelming. So, Rey makes a point of sticking close to Finn when she isn’t shoved into some tiny corner of the _Falcon,_ sweating and covered in grease, making emergency repairs. Strangely for Finn, they don’t talk much. Mostly, he just holds her hand and watches over the young woman – Rose, she learns – who was injured saving Finn’s life.

She watches him watch Rose, and though she’s more grateful than she can say that this woman has protected her friend in her absence, she can’t help but feel a small twinge of bitterness that she wasn’t the one here to do so. She was too busy fruitlessly trying to convince Luke to train her, fruitlessly trying to turn Ben – no, Kylo – to the light. In these quiet moments, when her doubts and resentments begin to bubble to the surface again, Rey can feel Kylo clawing at the bond, trying to get to her.

_“You’re nothing. But not to me.”_

She doesn’t let him in.

As they jump from planet to planet in the outer rim, picking up supplies and fuel before returning to hyperspace and their unknown destination, Rey teases out the story of the flight of the Resistance from Finn. She learns how he and Rose were thrown together in a desperate mission to try and disable a light speed tracker aboard Snoke’s vessel. She learns a small part of how _much_ Rose has come to mean to Finn. She learns that they were sent on this impossible undertaking by Poe, because he couldn’t trust the chain of command. Most importantly, she learns how Poe came to trust, and was the one to rally them on Crait and preserve those who were left.

When Finn tells her Poe’s stories, she can’t help but watch the man in question. He moves amongst the freedom fighters with the confidence of someone who genuinely likes people, but he also carries a tension in his body that Rey recognizes mirrored in herself. In many ways, he might be the only person on this ship who could understand how profoundly she overestimated her own knowledge and instincts. 

Finn prods her for details on her own story, but she finds it difficult to reciprocate. She’s unsure if she’ll ever be ready to share it with him. Even telling the General the bare details had left her wrung out and shaking.

~~

Eight days in, and Chewie and Leia finally reveal their destination. They are heading to a defunct Imperial base on one of the moons of Kashyyyk. It will provide them with adequate shelter and cover, and put them close to their Wookie allies on the planet’s surface. It is a bit of a case of hiding in plain sight, Rey supposes. She doesn’t much like it, but she can see no flaws in the plan. As for Finn, however, the news is not well-received. He is visibly anxious, and he clutches her hand in his so hard that it hurts. Rey squeezes back as best she can, hoping he can gain some comfort from her.

Finn manages to pull himself together when they land, putting on a brave face for his new friend Rose, who has regained consciousness, though she remains muddled. A bare few of their allies have been coaxed out to come to their aid on this small moon, and there is a full medical team waiting for their injured. Finn and the rest of the survivors follow close behind as they move Rose within the crumbling base.

Rey knows she must speak with Leia soon, tell her all that has transpired, but the hangar of the Imperial base was not designed with Corellian YT-Model Freighters in mind, and so she has to camouflage it before anything else is done. After she and Chewie have cut down enough of the lush foliage to create a suitable cover for the ship, Rey lingers, checking the Falcon over one last time.

She is under the dash of the cockpit, soldering a wire the stubbornly continues to come loose, when she feels a tug at her senses. For a moment, her throat closes with anxiety, and she is sure that she is about to see Kylo Ren’s face. Then, she realizes the presence is familiar in a different way.

“Rey?” 

She turns on her side to see Poe Dameron lingering in the doorway, looking at her cautiously.

“Poe! Hi. What’s the matter?” she says, scrambling to her feet, her face burning.

“Nothing! Nothing’s the matter.” Poe looks sheepish, perhaps even just as embarrassed as she is. “I just – a few months ago, I would never have imagined seeing the _Millennium Falcon,_ let alone getting to be inside it. Can I come take a look?”

Rey wonders if it is this man’s purpose in life is to get her to smile when she would have thought it impossible. “Of course, Poe. It’s good to know the Falcon is appreciated.”

Poe steps into the cockpit reverently, and Rey is vividly reminded of herself when she realized exactly which ship she had stolen from Unkar Plutt.

“Are you kidding me?” Poe looks up at her from running his hands over the cracked arm of the captain’s chair. “Appreciated? This ship is _legendary!_ And so are the people who fly her.” 

Rey feels pinned under Poe’s gaze, raw. She has to swallow around the lump in her throat before she replies, “Yes, Han is. Was… And Chewie, too.”

Poe has a smile on his face that could charm a rathtar. “I was talking about you, too.”

Rey’s cheeks feel like the sun on Jakku, and she avoids his gaze. “Luke had a thing or two to say about legends. I think I’d rather just be known for doing what’s right.”

When she meets Poe’s eye again, he’s looking at her like she’s a revelation.


	2. Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: One character dreams of another character's torture. Non-graphic description.

Curiously, Poe stays with Rey, handing her tools as she completes her repairs. They don’t talk of much, but she suspects that he might have reached similar conclusions to hers about their commonalities. Or perhaps he is just curious about the girl Jedi. 

As the few emergency repairs are completed and the base is provisionally set up, Rey realizes she is shaking with exhaustion.

When she nearly drops her spanner for the third time, Poe seizes her wrist and implores her to stop. “When was the last time you had more than an hour or two of sleep at a stretch, Rey?”

Rey tries to tug her hand away, and is shocked when she doesn’t have the strength to resist him. With a sigh, she admits, “I don’t remember, honestly.”

Poe shakes his head with a sad little smile on his face, and replies: “You and me both. Normally, I don’t advocate for this, but I think a bit of medically-induced sleep would be good for both of us. I’ll comm ahead and have a med droid meet us at your quarters.”

Rey wants to contradict him, but when she tries to retort, her words are stopped with a jaw-cracking yawn. So, she allows herself to be led off the ancient freighter and into the base. The route to her quarters _(why does Poe know where her quarters are?)_ is winding and complicated. Rey memorizes the twists and turns, certain that she’ll be heading back to the _Falcon_ in less than an hour, no matter how good their drugs are. At one featureless door in a corridor of many such doors, a small med droid is waiting. As Rey and Poe approach, it produces a small capsule from a port in its side. A water pouch is forthcoming as well.

Rey hesitates, unsure she wants to be medicated when her mind is already so vulnerable to Kylo. There’s no telling what the drugs will do to the Force Bond. Poe smiles disarmingly and gestures for Rey to take the pill and the water. “Go ahead. You need to rest up. It’s not going to hurt you.”

“Okay,” she says quietly, trusting Poe for no concrete reason she can put her finger on. She swallows the sleep aid as Poe opens the door to the room. Inside is more than bare – it is a closet of a room with nothing more than a cot, a chair, and a tiny, adjoining private refresher. 

“You can use the ‘fresher later, after you’ve woken up. That pill’s gonna kick in pretty quick, and we don’t want you falling asleep in there,” Poe says with a chuckle.

“Alright,” Rey responds, and heads for the cot, feeling a crushing homesickness for the first time since leaving Jakku. She’ll never see the place that has effectively been her home for her whole life ever again; she knows that in her bones. Here, there is no hammock, no little stove, no rebel pilot doll… There is no way for her to keep track of the days since she has seen her family.

Poe must notice her distress, and offers: “Is there anything else I can get you before you’re out?”

Rey feels foolish and embarrassed when her first instinct is to ask the pilot for a hug. She barely knows him… And more importantly, she doesn’t like being touched. Does she? Instead of articulating any of this, Rey simply shakes her head, crawling onto the cot and rolling on her side, facing away from Poe, suddenly unwilling to watch him leave. “Okay,’ Poe says, uncertainly, and it hangs in the air. 

Rey turns back toward him to speak, to apologize, but Poe is already gone. Unsettled, she places her head back down on the thin pillow, and suddenly she can feel the darkness fuzzing at the edges of her consciousness. She is asleep before she can even yawn.

~~

_Rey finds herself lying in a sea of long grasses. The sun is warm and pleasant on her back like it never was on Jakku. She’s on her stomach, propped up on her elbows so she can look at Poe._

_He’s lying beside her on his back, grinning like he knows where all the best salvage is. His arm is laid along the side of her body, and his fingers lightly brush her hip. Rey’s skin feels alive at his touch. His gaze on her is like another caress altogether, and heat spreads through her body in a way that has nothing to do with the sun on her back. Rey blushes and ducks her head away from that look. She picks a long blade of grass and fiddles with it, avoiding Poe’s observation._

_“You’ve got to be careful with that, you know,” Poe says, rolling to face her and gesturing at an unfamiliar lightsaber hilt that has appeared at her side. “Finn should be careful, too. This whole place is tinder-dry. You could start a wildfire.”_

_“I don’t know,” Rey says, tickling Poe’s nose gently with the green, green blade of grass, “It seems pretty lush to me.”_

_Poe throws his head back and laughs at this, and she blushes again. Once he’s calmed himself down, he shoots her a wicked grin and says: “You’ve got to tell Finn. The fire’s starting. They’ll come. These are your first steps, Rey.”_

_Rey’s heart clenches, and for once, she feels the impulse to reach out and touch. She stretches her hand out toward his face, and suddenly, the world tilts sickeningly. It’s dark. Everything smells of heat and smoke._

_Poe’s eyes are no longer laughing. They are exhausted, filled with pain. His face is swollen and bleeding, and his breathing sounds wrong. Rey’s hand is still stretched out towards his face, but now that hand wears a black glove. “You know I can take what I want,” Rey hears herself say, and her voice is high and cold and almost unrecognizable to her ears. “You have it, and you’re going to give it to me.”_

_She can taste blood in her mouth as she begins to tear Poe’s mind apart._

~~

Rey lurches up with a sharp gasp, shaking like a leaf. The lights in the room come up slowly – there must be a movement sensor. Sweat is mingling with tears on her face, and she covers her mouth with one hand, trying desperately not to throw up down her front. Shuddering, Rey rolls off the bed and to her feet, stumbling into the small refresher so that she can heave into the toilet. Luckily, the ration bar she’d eaten hours before is mostly gone, so there isn’t much to come up but bile.

She kneels on the cold duracrete floor, shuddering as her body works hard to physically reject the effects of her dream. Rey is absolutely horrified. Had she been Kylo Ren in the dream? Or had she seen a glimpse of what she might become if she were to follow the path to darkness? A chill worse than the snow on Starkiller Base descends on Rey. 

Was this dream like what she saw on Takodana? There, when she touched Luke’s sabre, she had seen a – vision? – of Kylo Ren before she had ever met him. Does this mean she is destined to fall to the dark side and torture Poe?

Rey tries to breathe, willing herself to believe that it was no more than a dream. As her breathing slowly returns to something akin to normal, she sits back on her haunches, uncurling her fists. Her nails have left bloody crescents in her palms. Suddenly, she feels it. The pulse at the base of her skull, followed by a sense that all the sound has been sucked from the universe – like she is trapped out in the vacuum of space. Rey flings herself away from the toilet and backs up against the wall, horrified to see Kylo Ren standing by the ‘fresher door.

“Get out,” she hisses at him, her throat raw from retching.

Kylo ignores her request and crouches down before her. He is clearly dressed for sleep – gone are the usual robes and cowl. He is wearing a loose pair of pants held up with a drawstring and a sleeveless shirt. Both garments are, of course, black as night. Rey tries not to focus on his strongly muscled arms.

‘What’s wrong?” he asks.

“What do you care?” she demands.

Kylo closes his eyes and takes a deep breath – it’s clear he’s trying to rein in his feelings. When he opens them, his gaze drills into her with the force of a blaster. His voice is, if anything, deeper than usual. “I care.”

Renewed tears pour down her face and she takes a shaking breath to ask what she’s wanted to since he held his hand out to her on Snoke’s ship. “Why did you do this, Ben? Why did you turn away from me?”

His fist _slams_ into the wall next to her head. “You turned away from me!”

Rey doesn’t even flinch. His rage no longer terrifies her. She knows what he feels. He is miserable and afraid.

She _does_ flinch when he moves that hand to touch the side of her face. The hurt in his eyes is clear, but he doesn’t stop his intention, and she can’t bring herself to stop him either. Rey shuts her eyes a millisecond before his palm makes contact with her skin. 

All the air is knocked from her lungs.

 _Rey is completely overwhelmed by the sensation of lips and hands hot on her skin. She is dressed in black silks, her body exposed in ways she would never consider, the fabric twisted and crushed under black-gloved hands. She sees images of herself laid out, writhing and gasping with pleasure._

_It’s time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker… The Sith, The Jedi… The rebels. Rey… I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring order to the galaxy. Join me. Please… You’re mine. Mine!_

With a massive force of will, Rey wrenches herself from the vision and knocks Kylo’s hand away. The Bond slams shut; she’s unwilling to look at his face for one second longer. She stays on the floor of the ‘fresher for a long time, trying to catch her breath.


	3. Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Leia work through some issues. Sorry guys, this chapter is a bit dark. Have a heaping spoonful of angst.

The _Falcon_ is quiet and still (except for the small rustles and coos of the infestation of Porgs) when Leia finds Rey there. The young Jedi has been bracing herself for this conversation since they landed on this moon. The General looks more fragile than Rey has ever seen her, and she is leaning heavily on her cane. There is still that core of strength present in the older woman, but she is clearly shaken by her losses.

Rey is sitting in the cockpit, staring out at nothing, really, when she senses the General’s approach. She stands and offers the pilot’s seat to the older woman. The smile Leia gives the young woman is somewhat sardonic as she says: “You think I ever piloted this hunk of junk?” and she seats herself in Chewie’s co-pilot chair. Rey grins in response, knowing that the insult is both patently untrue, and disguises a genuine affection for the old freighter, and of course, its inhabitants. She nods at Leia, and takes up her previous position.

“You know why I’m here, Rey. I need you to tell me everything.”

A short jerk of her head is Rey’s only answer for a long moment while she tries to come up with the words to even articulate what happened. 

“Luke was the saddest man I ever met,” is what eventually comes out. “I thought I knew what waiting was, but I’ve never met anyone who was simply waiting around to die… Luke… considered killing your son when he sensed the darkness rising in him, and he spent the rest of his life paying for that mistake.”

The sigh that escape’s Leia’s lungs reminds Rey of the wind scraping over the sands of the salvage boneyards. “Luke never specifically said that was what happened, but I always suspected. Snoke was there for longer than any of us knew, poisoning Ben’s mind, but Luke may well have been the catalyst in his fall to the Dark Side.”

Tears are gathering in the corners of Leia’s eyes, and Rey looks away, unable to watch. “My brother was a man who acted out of fear,” Leia says, closing her hand over Rey’s clenched fist, “I can understand that.”

Rey nods again, still not looking at Leia. She takes a deep breath. “I mentioned a – Bond – between Ben and I. Snoke claimed that he bridged our minds, but I don’t believe him. I think it goes back farther than that, to when Ben tried to invade my mind. The Bond is the reason I thought he could be saved. He and I – have the ability to speak to each other across distances I could only imagine a few weeks ago. It’s – hard to control, when I see him, when he sees me… But we can only ever see each other, nothing else – so please, you don’t have to worry about me being a security risk!”

The General squeezes her hand gently. “Even if I did suspect you were a risk to security, Rey, I believe we could find a way for you to have a place here with us. You’ll always have a place here with us.”

Rey is shaking so hard that her seat is rattling on its moorings. “Rey. Look at me,” Leia orders gently. “You will always have a place with us.”

Rey can barely see, there are tears pouring down her face, and the rest of her story comes out in a rush. “Because of these… Visitations, I was able to see a vision through the Force where Kylo turned to the Light. I believed that if I could convince him, if I was with him, if we were together, that _I_ would be enough. So, I left Luke! I _left_ him and went to Ben aboard Snoke’s ship!” Rey is panting, her words are becoming hard to understand with her sobs, but she can’t stop. Her voice is reaching a hysterical pitch, but she _can’t stop_. “Snoke tortured me. He _ripped_ open my _mind_ and tore Luke’s location from it. I can still feel him in there, impossible to clean, like engine oil in my brain. He cut Luke’s location from my body and then made me watch as they _decimated_ the Resistance transports. Even though Ben told me he had a vision of me turning to the Dark, I believed until the very last moment that I would be _enough_ for him to do the right thing.”

Leia makes a noise as if to tell Rey she can stop, take a break; Rey can feel the pain and sympathy pouring off her, but she angrily wipes away her tears and continues on, brutally. “He killed Snoke,” she continues, her voice deathly quiet and flat now. “ _Ben_ killed Snoke. We fought off all of his guards. I killed… So many men, but I had no choice. And fighting with Ben beside me – was – it was like breathing. It was natural, like we were _meant_ to be together, but then…”

Finally, Rey can no longer continue. She’s cried so hard she feels sick.

She’s huddled over herself, clutching her aching stomach, when she feels Leia’s arms come around her. Like every one of the few, precious hugs the older woman has given her, this one feels like a shield against everything that could ever hurt her. They sit, clutching at each other for longer than Rey would like to admit, before Leia clears her throat, and says, roughly: “You care for him. You care enough to want to save him. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

“Why wasn’t I enough?” Rey’s voice is very small.

“I ask myself that question every day, Rey. Why wasn’t our family enough? Why wasn’t Luke enough? Why wasn’t the Light enough?”

Leia slowly draws away from the young woman, whose shaking and crying has slowly subsided. “I don’t know if there’s an answer to those questions Rey, but if anyone were able to turn my son to the light, I think it would be you.”

“That’s not what Luke thought,” Rey finally admits. “He was afraid of me.”

Leia doesn’t try to deny Rey’s statement, or contradict it. “You are very, very powerful, much like Ben is. It’s not wrong to be wary of that power. I think, though, if Luke had known you like we do, if he’d had the chance to learn about you the way your friends and I have, then he would have understood that you could never turn to the Dark Side. Considering all you’ve been through, if you were going to turn, you would have done it long ago, my dear.”

Rey lets Leia’s words sink in as silence fills the cockpit. She can tell from the way the swirl of conflicted emotion is orbiting around the General that she is working up to saying something difficult. So, she waits, aware that she owes the General her patience and sympathy, at the very least.

“I – I need you to tell me… If you think there’s any chance that – Ben – might still be saved.” The hope in in Leia’s voice is absolutely heartbreaking. Rey feels shattered all over again.

There’s a tug in her chest, and she follows it. She's unsure where her words are coming from, but she knows that they are true as soon as they pass her lips. “Ben is afraid. He knows he’s almost gone past the point of no return. Even if he does turn, he knows he will still have consequences to face for his actions. It’s very possible that, should he come back to the Light, he will feel unable to do so without sacrificing his own life. Does he have the capacity, still, for good?” 

Rey thinks back to the moment in the ‘fresher, the revolting impression of covetousness she felt rolling off him in sickening waves. That sense of possessiveness was directed at Rey, at her power, at her body. She closes her eyes and feels the memory, sifting through her emotions until she finds it. _There._ It is weak, and flickering uncertainly, but underneath the anger, the fear, the greedy hunger to possess her, she had felt a tiny spark. 

Rey opens her eyes, and looks directly at Leia. “ _Yes,_ ” she breathes.


	4. What Do You See?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look! More angst! (I'm sorry. I'll do my best to spread around some more fluff and love between the angst.)
> 
> This is the last Poe-free chapter for a bit!

Training to be a Jedi is hard. Training to be something like a Jedi, when you have nothing but near-indecipherable ancient texts and half-learned philosophies about the Force from a closed-off old hermit who is now dead? It’s nearly impossible. 

The Resistance has been on Kashyyyk’s moon for a few weeks, and each time Rey is called into a strategy meeting she can’t help with, each time Leia catches her eye, each time she sits Rey down and asks her _Please, I know it’s hard, but tell me one more time about my son,_ Rey knows she’s failing everyone.

The scramble for recovery has been so intense since they took over this defunct Imperial base that other than a few hurried meetings with Leia and Poe, the last of the Resistance Command, Rey has been left mostly to fend for herself. This is nothing new, of course, so when she isn’t working on the _Falcon_ or trying to convince Finn to leave Rose’s side in the med bay to take sleep for even an hour or two, she’s keeping herself busy with attempts at training. To do so, she goes as far from the base as she can.

It’s been impossible for Rey not to fall in love with this place. Though the base itself is depressing in its militaristic uniformity, everything else is astonishingly lovely. The base is surrounded by rocky crags and ridges. The trees tower so far over her head that she can’t really see the tops, and when she climbs up to the spot where she meditates, she can see the glint of a massive lake fringed by purple mountains off in the distance.

The Jedi texts have language that’s so dense that Rey finds she must have a data pad with her every time she tries to read them, so that she can make notes and annotations on her impressions. Then, she has to take what she’s learned and attempt to sift out the useful practices from the possibly damaging ones. Unfortunately, Luke wasn’t overly forthcoming about which were which, and Rey finds herself fruitlessly adding and deleting methods and techniques to her data pad. More often than not, it is so futile that she just ends up practicing with her staff or manipulating small objects with the Force out of pure frustration. 

Less often than her practice of examining the texts, she attempts the one exercise that Luke taught her on Ahch-to. She’s found a spot on a ridge that overlooks the base; it’s a place that reminded her instantly of the cliff at the top of the island, and she quickly makes it the primary place where she attempts to teach herself about the Force. There are several boulders grouped together atop the ridge, and Rey sits on the largest one if for no other reason than it feels familiar. Luke’s voice rings clear through her memory as she settles down and closes her eyes.

_Reach out. What do you see?_

Usually, Rey cannot calm the frantic beating of her heart enough to see anything. She feels like she has tapped into the Force on a surface level, but has thus far been unable to explore it any deeper; still, she tries anyway. Today, she sits for longer, her mind cautiously and slowly unfurling. If she’s honest with herself, this exercise terrifies her. She fears that if she opens herself too fully to the Force, Kylo Ren will find her again. Her last encounter with him was disturbing, to say the least, but a small voice inside her wonders if she wants him to find her again.

The fear and longing she saw on his face is a persistent image burned on the backs of her eyelids. He was so scared. She wonders if he’s still scared.

Her breathing settles into a deep rhythm, and she tentatively examines her own feelings. She’s cried over the loss of the future she had glimpsed where Kylo Ren rediscovered Ben Solo within himself. Does he cry at night when there is no one around to see? Does some small part of him mourn Ben Solo? He has even less now than he did before. No Snoke. He’s so alone. He has no one, but Rey’s not sure she can help that any more. She saw the Light in him, but he pulled away from her. He left her. Just like everyone else.

The pulse hits at the base of her skull, stronger than ever before. All sound is muffled but the reverberation of his heavy breathing, and she can feel his presence beating at the walls she has placed around her mind. Rey’s eyes snap open. For a split-second of mind-numbing terror and overwhelming heartbreak, she sees him.

He is kneeling directly in front of her, so close she can smell the sweat and fear pouring off him, and she notices everything about him all at once. He’s gasping like he can’t get enough air, and though his face is covered with a sheen of sweat, his skin is paler than she’s ever seen it. His cheeks are sallow and there are circles beneath his eyes so dark he almost looks bruised. There is almost no colour in his full lips, and they are cracked and bleeding like he hasn’t had water in a day or two. His lightsaber is humming in his grip and she can see that his knuckles are split and bloody through the mangled mess that used to be his black leather gloves.

With a flash of intuition, Rey realizes that she’s witnessing the aftermath of a massive loss of control. Kylo’s expression is naked, totally bared to her, and Rey knows instinctively that things are worse off for him than even she supposed.

But she can’t face him. She hasn’t come to terms with what the Force showed her last time she saw him. 

With a slash of her arm and a crack in her heart, Rey slams the Bond closed again. She’s breathing hard, her hands shaking with adrenaline and tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

Abruptly, Rey leans over the side of the boulder and vomits.

She’s a failure.

She can’t train herself. She can’t harness the Force without seeing _him._ Ben. She's certain now that it's Ben she sees across the Bond, not Kylo. He can’t hide anything from her through it, or perhaps he doesn’t want to.

She sits there, gagging and sobbing for many minutes before she feels ready to move. When she does walk back to the base on shaky legs, Rey doesn’t notice the hairline cracks that have opened in every one of the boulders atop the ridge.


	5. I Trust You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poe's back! And so is the trauma! Next chapter is going to be the fluffiest, most beautiful piece of garbage ever, I promise. We all deserve a reward for sticking through the angst this far.
> 
> Content Warning for this chapter: This is basically a description of the aftermath of a severe panic attack. I'm putting a summary at the end of the chapter if you'd like to skip this one.

There are lots of good places to hide around the base. Rey found each and every one quietly and efficiently in the first few days they were on the moon. She's stopped sleeping in the bunk they assigned her; her mind is more vulnerable when she sleeps, and she doesn't need to deal with other peoples' nightmares as well as her own. She prefers the _Falcon._ Sometimes, though, she needs somewhere smaller, more secure, more unknown to hide herself away for a few hours and fall apart. She knows they can't find her, because she had immediately disabled the tracker inside the communicator they gave her. It makes Leia worry, but Rey can't change how she's been shaped and scoured by the sands of Jakku.

After her brief, yet horrifying encounter with Kylo - _Ben_ \- Rey heads inside the base through a disused side entrance and tucks herself behind a broken instrument panel that has partially rusted off its frame. For an uncertain amount of time, she hides, curled over herself as if she just compresses her body hard enough, her own gravity might cause her to collapse into a black hole.

_You're nothing. But not to me._

Rey bangs her head against the metal casing. Is this her fate? Is this what the Force wants from her? That she can never be free from Ben Solo?

_It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker… The Sith, The Jedi… The rebels. Rey… I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring order to the galaxy. Join me._

She tries to breathe, tries to remember Luke's voice, tries to keep up her walls.

_Please…_

It's as though she's pushing through the punishing wind of a sandstorm as she slowly comes back to herself, vaguely aware of an urgent beeping sound to her right. Peeking around the askew edge of the broken panel, Rey sees a thoroughly agitated BB-unit rolling and wriggling outside her hiding place.

"BB-8?" The words feel strange and thick on her tongue.

One of BB-8's tool-bays opens, and a little armature grasps the side of the broken panel, trying to pull it away. "BB. Go away," Rey manages, and the little droid pauses to poke its photoreceptor at her, taking in her state. 

It beeps in the negative and moves to try and grasp the panel again, but then stops at the sound of heavy boots treading purposefully down the disused and dusty corridor. The voice of Poe Dameron follows the sound.

"Hey buddy. Thanks for finding her."

BB-8 trills in reply, and while Rey's binary is normally excellent, her brain still seems to be taking its sweet time struggling out of the cycle of repeating thoughts she'd been stuck in. Distantly, she realizes the droid is saying: _Friend-Rey's vital signs are sub-optimal. She is dehydrated, and her blood pressure is very low. Should BB-8 contact medical?_

"No, buddy. I'll make sure she's taken care of. Can you tell the General we've located her, and we'll be out as soon as Rey's ready?"

The little droid replies in the affirmative and rolls away.

With a slight grunt, Poe sits down on the floor outside Rey's little space. He's far enough away that Rey doesn't feel her hackles rising too much. He gently places a water pouch down near the gap between the wall and the instrument panel. They sit in silence for a long, long moment before Rey manages to unclench her muscles enough to pull the water inside her apparently ineffective hiding spot.

She sips slowly at the water while Poe hums absently outside in the corridor. He is obviously completely content and unbothered to sit with her. Evidently, he has no duties to perform at this moment other than to make sure she's okay. Rey doesn't know why this makes her feel like there's a knot in her chest. Now that she's a bit calmer and has some water in her, Rey really, really doesn't want to talk. She peeks out the gap at him, cautiously.

"Wow," he jokes quietly, "You really gotta teach me how to find places like this. I get the need to get away, you know?"

Poe is very carefully not looking at her, but she sees the way his throat bobs and his shaking fists clench on his knees, despite his light tone.

"I thought I could save Ben Solo," she blurts, suddenly.

The pilot's whole frame tenses when he hears the name.

To his credit, moments later, he deliberately relaxes his entire body. His voice still purposefully light, Poe asks, "Did you believe he was worth saving?"

Rey thinks about her answer for a long time. "Yes. Because if he's worth saving, then I am, too."

Poe's sharp inhale is accompanied by his sharp gaze, leveled straight at Rey through the gap in the paneling. "How could you not be worth saving?"

Rey is completely unprepared for how earnestly he is looking at her and the wave of pure compassion she feels from him. She swallows thickly before replying, willing herself not to cry. "Ben and I aren't that different, Poe. We were both, in a way, abandoned by the people who were supposed to love us, by our families. Ben's response to that betrayal wasn't right, but part of me understands it." 

She doesn't say: _a part of me wants it._

Poe nods slowly, jaw ticking, and eye contact unwavering.

A flash of intuition hits her. "He hurt you, didn't he? Not just the people you love, the people you're fighting for - he hurt you personally."

This time, Poe's nod is jerkier, almost reflexive. Rey listens to the steady ticking of the metal of the base heating and cooling around them while she tries to spit out the words. "He did it to me, too. I thought it was bad when he did it; it was nothing compared to Snoke. I felt like I was being ripped apart." She pauses, horrified. "I'm sorry, Poe. That sounds like I'm trying to one-up you. I was just trying to say I understand. You don't have to want to save Ben."

Poe's huff of laughter is unexpected and shaky, but genuine. "Rey, I know you're not trying to win first prize for 'Most Traumatized.' Besides, that one probably goes to Finn, anyway."

She chuckles back at him, damply, her voice thick with unshed tears. Unconsciously mirroring his action during their first meeting on the Falcon, Poe reaches out towards Rey. Slowly, she uncurls, and slides her hand out through the gap to grasp his tightly.

They hold hands while Rey counts her heartbeats. His palm is warm and dry, and his touch feels like it has closed a circuit between the two of them - low electric pulses thrill up her arm. She doesn't want to let go. 

He clears his throat, and Rey _knows_ suddenly, that he's about to ask her something really hard to answer. 

"I don't know if there is any way I can ask this that won't make you feel like you're being attacked… But how do you know so much about Kylo Ren?"

Rey notes which name Poe chooses to use but doesn't comment on it. Instead, she just squeezes his hand and then releases it, wrapping her arm back around her knees. "It's okay, Poe. I know why you need to know. I suppose I'm just surprised Leia didn't tell you," she laughs, bleakly, "I might be a security risk."

The change on Poe's face is dramatic, and Rey realizes that she never wants to see Poe looking at her with wariness and a hint of fear again. For a long moment, she doesn't want to tell him anything. She wants to insist he go ask Leia. It's too hard for Rey, she's too fragile. She has too few friends, and she can't lose this one. Then, she remembers Luke, and how much leaving things unsaid cost him, and she takes a deep breath. "When Ben tried to - breach - my mind, I was able to fight him off. In doing so, I caught a glimpse of his mind."

There is a flash of revulsion on Poe's face, but he supresses it almost instantly. Rey doesn't know where she finds the strength to continue, but she does. "My theory is that when we were in each other's heads, a sort of… Bond? Was formed. Now, no matter how far apart we are, he and I can communicate through the Force. I see him; he sees me. But I can't see or hear anything about his surroundings, and it's the same for him. I just see him. And… In talking to him - I - was convinced he could be saved."

Rey is utterly ill-equipped for Poe's reaction. In one swift movement, he's turned to face her fully, and is thrusting his hands into her little space to shove the panel aside. The next thing she knows, she's wrapped in his arms. His voice is low and intense as he tells her, "I'm so sorry Rey. That is the worst _kriffing_ thing I can imagine. I can't - I'm so, so sorry!"

It takes a few seconds for Rey to hug him back, but when she does, she's flooded with warmth. She hadn't realized she had gotten so cold, and she shivers against his body. He squeezes her tighter in response, and she buries her face against his chest because she can. She's allowed to. "Are you okay?" she whispers into his shirt. "Do you believe me? I'm not going to betray the Resistance to him, intentionally or not."

"Asking me if _I'm_ okay," Poe mutters under his breath, his words laced with awed disbelief. "Of course I believe you. I trust you, Rey."

She's not sure why he would trust her, but she's grateful for it nonetheless.

Her voice is muffled against his chest when she asks, "…How did BB-8 find me anyway?"

Poe releases her from his arms, and it's a bit awkward, but Rey doesn't mind. His face is flushed. "Well, the General - sensed - you were in a bit of distress, and my terrible little droid revealed that he's been monitoring your vitals remotely since he met you on Jakku. He must really like you. I thought he only did that for me."

Rey is simultaneously flattered and annoyed, and her consternation must show on her face because Poe smiles sympathetically. "I know it's hard being around everyone, sometimes. How about, if we're looking for you, you just tell BB-8 when you're ready for him to come get me. He'll stick with you by himself 'til then, or unless you need medical help. Sound good?"

"Okay." Rey's voice sounds small even to her, but she manages a smile for him. Poe's answering smile is just as fragile, and she tucks it into her memory like a precious piece of salvage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary:
> 
> Rey hides in a little cubby on the base after seeing Kylo during meditation. BB-8 and Poe find her there, and Poe helps Rey feel better after her panic attack.
> 
> Rey and Poe talk about whether or not Kylo deserves to be redeemed, and Rey reveals their Force Bond to Poe. Poe is surprisingly understanding of the whole thing - mostly he just feels sorry for Rey that she has to have continued contact with Kylo.
> 
> Rey gets a huuuuuuug! 
> 
> Apparently BB-8 has been tracking Rey's vital signs, which is how he found her.
> 
> Rey agrees to let the droid keep looking out for her as long as her privacy is respected.
> 
> <3


	6. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update! Last week was incredibly busy. I'm part of a competitive cosplay team and we're ramping up for con season, so there's been a ton of sewing and EVA foam happening in my corner of the universe recently. Anyway, here is the fluff, as promised. I should have another chapter up later today or tomorrow, as an apology for keeping you waiting to long!
> 
> Warning: here be under-researched tech.

The first few brave souls who come out to the third moon of _Kashyyyk_ to support the Resistance have now multiplied to the point where they have managed to procure a few ancient, dilapidated fighters. Anyone with mechanical experience has been diverted from their regular duties to work on repairs and upgrades. Truthfully, Rey is thankful for the distraction. It means that, for the time being, she has the perfect excuse to neglect any Force-related work and focus instead on the things that still make sense to her, like circuitry and moving parts.

Rey is elbow-deep in the Nav system of an A-Wing that might date from before the first rebellion. There is a particular bolt that has come loose, and it’s just out of her reach. Her face and arms are smeared with engine grease, and her hair still carries a static charge from a rogue live wire. With a yelp, she brushes a second live wire with her arm and lets loose a colourful stream of curses in all the languages she knows. When she withdraws her arms from inside the Navigation panel, her fabric wraps have been singed through, and she has a new, shiny burn to add to her other scars.

Grumbling and cursing softly to herself, she carefully climbs out of the cockpit of the A-Wing and pulls a med pack off the wall of the hangar bay. She grabs what she needs, and is sitting on the bottom rung of the ladder by her ship, rubbing bacta gel into the burn, when she is startled by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

When she turns to look, she’s delighted to see Rose standing behind her, waving awkwardly.

“Rose!” she exclaims, leaping up, “You’re out of medical! How are you feeling?” With her keen eye, she takes in the fact that Rose is holding herself quite stiffly, still, but otherwise she looks fully sound.

Rose’s face takes on a deep flush. “Me? _You_ want to know about _me_?”

Rey furrows her brow in confusion. “Of course I do. You’re Finn’s friend; you saved his life!”

If possible, the flush on Rose’s face becomes even deeper, and Rey is vividly reminded of the deep red of the juicy fruits she’s come to covet at mealtimes on the base. Worried that the young mechanic will expire if she doesn’t sit, Rey carefully steers her to the ladder and guides her down to the makeshift seat. Rey sits cross-legged before her and finishes rubbing the gel into her burn, waiting patiently for the other woman to find her words.

“I haven’t been cleared for active duty yet,” is what Rose eventually manages to get out, “But I couldn’t stay in my quarters any longer, it was driving me crazy!”

Rey wrinkles her nose a bit and smiles. “I know how you feel. It’s better to be useful. You’re a mechanic, right?”

Rose nods, blushing again. Her tone is a little awed as she blurts, “Connix told me you were working on an A-Wing, and I just had to come see! I didn’t know you were a mechanic as well as a Jedi.”

As if he’s standing right next to her, Rey hears Luke in her head, saying: _Amazing. Everything you just said is wrong._ She chuckles ruefully. “I’m neither of those things. I’m just a scavenger.”

A scoff is what she gets in response to that statement. “Yeah, a good enough scavenger that you supported yourself on that Force-forsaken rock for who knows how long, and taught yourself to fly, and stole the kriffing _Millennium Falcon…_ ” Rose trails off, staring into the middle distance with a rapt expression on her face.

This time, it’s Rey’s turn to go bright red. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt more embarrassed. “Where did you hear all that?” she probes, quietly.

“Finn, Poe, Chewie, Connix – everyone talks about you, Rey.” Rose is cut short at the horrified look on Rey’s face. “No! Rey – everyone loves you! Everyone admires what you’ve done for yourself!”

Rey is silent for a long moment, trying to understand what, exactly, she has done that is admirable. Seeing past her failures is hard, but she supposes that her survival on Jakku is something. “Well,” she finally concedes, “I had no one to help me, so I just… Had to learn how to survive.” She feels a gentle hand on her arm and meets Rose’s gaze.

“You know you’re not alone any more, right Rey? You don’t have to do it all alone. That’s the whole point of the Resistance. We help each other, and we help people who don’t have anyone.”

The young Jedi stares at Rose, a strange burning feeling at the back of her throat, like she hasn’t had enough of her water rations. She clears her throat awkwardly, then pushes herself to her feet. She thrusts a hand out to her still-seated companion. “Do you think you’re feeling up to helping me with this Nav system?”

The smile that splits Rose’s face is positively brilliant. She grabs Rey’s proffered hand, and Rey helps her carefully to her feet. She supervises closely as Rose climbs the ladder to the cockpit but doesn’t offer to help her. She suspects that, much like herself, Rose isn’t the type of woman who accepts help unless she truly needs it, so she doesn’t coddle the eager mechanic, despite her still-healing injuries.

Rey climbs up with her and slides into the small space between the pilot’s chair, which Rose has settled herself into, and the dashboard. She jabs an accusing finger at the Nav panel. “I burnt myself on a wire in there, and I can’t tell why it would still be live; I cut the power to the whole ship before I got to work. Any ideas?”

“Yeah, actually!” Rose exclaims happily. “It’s a quirk of these old RZ-1’s that the backup power system doesn’t shut off with the main override. You have to flip the breaker. Just under here.”

The mechanic points down the side of the pilot’s chair, where Rey sees the breaker panel she had missed on her first inspection of the ship. Triumphantly, she twists around and sticks her hand through the gap, flicking the breaker. “I hope that does it!” she says and rotates back around to the Nav panel, diving back into the hole and try to reach that last, loose bolt. She brushes the wire again and is absurdly relieved when she doesn’t receive a shock.

She grunts, the bolt still just out of reach. There is a prod at her thigh, the one sticking awkwardly up and out of the cockpit to provide her leverage. “Try this,” says Rose. Her voice sounds odd and tinny from outside the space in which she is currently head and shoulders deep. Rey reaches out, blindly, and feels a cool metal tool land in her palm. She pulls it up by her face and is pleased to see it’s a longer wrench than she’s been using. 

“Thank you!” she calls out to Rose, and finally manages to tighten the errant bolt. While she’s at it, she re-routes the wires that had been giving her trouble, muttering to herself quietly as she determines the correct circuits. “Okay,” she says, louder this time for Rose’s benefit, “Can you reach the breakers again to fire her up?”

Rose grunts a bit from above her, and for a moment, Rey is worried she’s asked too much of the injured mechanic, but then she hears the click of the breaker and the soft hum of power through the wiring, as well as Rose’s satisfied sigh. “Great! Bring the old girl fully back online!”

There is another soft click from above her, and then the entire ship hums to life, including the Navigation system. “Yes!” she crows, then nearly slams her head against the metal bulkhead above her when she feels something jab her foot, the one dangling out of the cockpit.

“Poe!” comes Rose’s joyful cry as Rey tries to extricate herself from her awkward position.

“Heya, Rose. How’re you feeling, kid?”

“Great, Poe! I was just helping Rey get the Nav on this bucket of rust up and running again!” 

Rey can hear Poe chuckling as she finally manages to poke her head up over the lip of the cockpit. The Best Pilot in the Resistance is standing below them on the tarmac, grinning like a loon.

She pushes herself up on her knees and crosses her arms over her chest in disapproval. “Do you want to tell me why you felt the need to scare the kriffing daylights out of me just now, Commander Dameron?”

“Oh, it’s _Commander_ now, is it?” Poe laughs harder in reply, and Rey huffs out an unwilling chuckle in response to his mirth. Rose is smiling, too, and giggling like a fool. It’s silly and sweet to see her two friends momentarily unburdened. 

Rey flushes. She hadn’t thought of them as _friends_ before, but she supposes they are. Just like Finn is her friend. Her face hurts, she’s smiling so hard.

When Poe finally stops laughing, he gallantly helps Rose out of the cockpit while Rey shuts the A-Wing back down. She decides to forgo the ladder on her way out of the ship, choosing the quicker option of swinging herself down and landing on her feet. However, she misjudges her manoeuver, and lands startlingly close to Poe. The pilot immediately reaches out to steady her.

Things go a little fuzzy at the feel of his warm hands circling her upper arms gently but firmly, and his smile flashes in joyful surprise at her sudden appearance by his side. “Hey there,” he says, quietly, almost intimately. The lowness of his voice does something to her, makes her feel warm, and she steps away from him in surprise. Poe releases her arms immediately, but maybe she imagines how his fingers seem to linger just a tad longer than they should.

“Hi,” she manages to get out in response.

Poe seems unfazed by her reaction. “I brought you a snack, and some water. I thought maybe you might not have remembered…”

She’s astonished, once again, at how this man automatically seems to intuit things about her that other sentients don’t seem to get, despite her unconventional upbringing. She’s used to repressing her hunger in order to get work done while scavenging, and now that she thinks of it, she hasn’t eaten since she woke up. She smiles shyly. “You’re a good friend, Poe. Do you and Rose want to share with me?” _Sharing is something friends do, right?_

The twin force of his and Rose’s smiles nearly knocks her off her feet. “Absolutely,” Poe firmly states.

The trio finds seats on a pile of disused crates, and tuck into the food Poe has brought. When he opens a container of the juicy red fruits Rey loves and offers them to her, she wonders if it’s is just a coincidence that he brought them, or if he’s noticed how Rey favours them at mealtimes. She bashfully takes one out of the container, then offers it to Rose in return. 

As she tucks into the fruit, Poe glances mischievously at Rose. “You’re not cleared for duty yet, are you Rose? How come you were helping Rey?”

Rose tries to stutter out a reply but is interrupted by Poe’s chuckling. “It’s okay Rose. My lips are sealed. I can’t blame you for wanting to do some repairs with our resident hero.”

Poe is talking to Rose, but he’s _looking_ at Rey. His eyes are warm on her, but there’s an intensity there that takes her breath away. He reaches out, and she’s frozen like a frightened animal, but he just swipes up a bit of deep, red juice that’s dripped down her hand. Then, in a way that absolutely stuns Rey like a blaster bolt, he slips his juice-covered finger between his lips and _sucks._

Rey looks away, her blood rushing in her ears, and says the first thing that comes to her mind: “Rose, how about when we’re done eating, we go drag Finn away from whatever intelligence meeting he’s stuck in and teach him and Poe how to fix carbon scoring on an A-Wing’s hull?”

The mechanic grins wickedly. Carbon-scoring requires some of the heaviest manual labour to fix. “Sounds like the perfect task. Finn can supervise while Poe scrapes!”

Poe groans good-naturedly. “I guess I deserve that.”

Rey crinkles her nose and punches him lightly in the arm. “You do, for scaring poor Rose like that.”

There’s a feeling of warm excitement in her belly at the thought of spending the afternoon with her _friends,_ full of gentle teasing and shared experiences. She just hopes that the tips of her ears aren’t still red by the time they find Finn.


	7. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS! Yesterday I had 950-odd hits and now I have OVER 1100!!!! Thank you!!!!
> 
> As promised, here is another chapter to apologize for the delay in posting the last one.
> 
> TROPES!
> 
> Get ready for some Rey and Poe feeeeeeels. 
> 
> Content Warning: We're dealing with the aftermath of a bad nightmare, here, but with no real description of the nightmare's content.

It seems now that sleepless nights are rather more frequent than Rey would prefer, but it’s nothing she hasn’t dealt with before. Though Rey feels like she’s settled in to the rhythms of the base more in the past few weeks, there are still evenings when she tosses and turns for a few hours, and even attempting to meditate is fruitless. On those nights, Rey gives up the ghost and slips from her berth in the _Falcon_ to go out and breathe in the nocturnal air. She loves the old freighter, but sometimes the emotional impressions there run too thick, and the loneliness begins to remind her of her home on Jakku.

Tonight, Rey settles for making a circuit of the outside of the base. She wanders somewhat aimlessly, occasionally tasting fleeting impressions of the dreams of the Resistance soldiers. The nights on this moon are louder than those in the sands of Jakku – it seems to Rey that there are many more living beings here than could possibly be sustained on that desert planet, and many of them come out only in darkness. 

Rey pauses in her wanderings to lean contemplatively against the duracrete siding of the base, which still retains some of the warmth of the day. If she’s honest with herself, despite her sleeplessness, she’s starting to feel a little bit more open here. The number of people on the base, which is growing little by little every day, is still often overwhelming to her, but she’s made some good friends. There are people she’s starting to feel like she relies on. Rey has never had anyone to rely on before. It's a nice feeling.

Her friendship with Finn has remained true and strong, and she’s so proud to see him not only adapting to life at the Resistance base, but also _thriving._ Despite his role as a sanitation worker on Starkiller, Rey knows he’s still been able to provide the General with valuable intelligence. She can understand why he’s relieved to be able to contribute in any way. It’s also been a delight to watch the relationship grow between him and Rose. They’re good at keeping each other grounded and accountable.

Rose has been a revelation. Rey’s never been close to anyone, let alone a woman near to her own age. She finds that Rose’s mind works very similarly to her own, and the two of them have been able to come up with a dizzying array of mods for the few ships they have, using no more than the scrap the Empire left around the old base. They seem to balance each other well, and with their similarly difficult upbringings, each one is good at reminding the other of the hope that still exists despite their individual hardships.

Poe is – Poe is the only one Rey is unsure of. Not because he's unkind – far from it – but she feels differently around him than she does with Finn and Rose. The pilot is sweet, and considerate, and remarkably intuitive, but Rey feels somehow off-kilter during all of their interactions. It’s not an unpleasant sensation, by any means – in fact, it makes her want to spend more time with him – but she can’t figure out why it is he makes her feel like she did the first time she pushed through atmo on the Millennium Falcon. When she’s with him, there is a swoop and a rush in her chest, and it's as though her entire perception of the universe has changed.

She sighs and brushes her hands along the worn duracrete, feeling for the places where plants and moss have grown up between the cracks. The way nature here reclaims the galaxy’s technological endeavours seems so much friendlier than it does on Jakku. There, ships and buildings were torn apart by sand and wind and time. Here, the monuments made by sentient beings slowly become the sustenance for growing things. 

A group of silent, winged creatures fly through the night, and Rey watches them with a precipitous sense of strange foreboding. A deep shudder runs through her body, and she is suddenly hit with a wave of terror so intense she’s breathless with it.

Alarmed, she turns and fumbles along the wall of the base, struggling to keep herself upright as wave after wave of strong emotions assault her like physical blows. She finds an access panel and keys open the door, lurching inside the darkened corridors of the last Resistance stronghold, searching for the source of the feeling. She knows that she is sensing the echoes of a terrible nightmare, and she needs to find the cause – to end that person’s torment.

Rey isn’t surprised, somehow, when she finds herself outside the door to Poe’s private quarters.

Hissing though her teeth as another surge of suffering hits her so intensely that her stomach muscles cramp, Rey presses the call button on Poe’s door.

She waits.

Again, she presses it.

Again. 

She’s about to press it a fourth time when the door slides open. Poe stands on the other side, and the expression on his face is so vividly similar to the way Kylo Ren looked at her in Snoke’s ship that her heart feels like it could shatter into a million pieces. He's looking at Rey like she could stop all of his pain with a word, and it’s breathtaking. She doesn’t have to ask him what he’s been dreaming about. She has the same nightmares, night after night.

Before she can say anything, Poe reaches out with one hand and yanks her into his arms. He’s shaking so hard against her that his knees buckle, and Rey holds him hard, so they can sink to the floor as gently as possible. “Poe, I’m so sorry,” she’s saying, “I promise I didn’t look inside your head… You were just so _loud_ and I couldn’t bear the pain and I needed to help you get out of it I’m so sorry I promise I’ll never look in your head, please don’t be mad at me, it’s okay, it’s over now, it’s okay, I promise it’s going to be okay…”

Poe isn’t saying much, but he’s nodding with his face buried in her chest, and the overall impression she’s getting is one of relief, not fear. She manages to quiet her frantic assurances down slowly until the only sound in Poe’s little room is their harsh breathing mingling in the dark. Tentatively, Rey relaxes one of her arms from around his shoulders and does something she’s wanted to do since she met the pilot – she buries her fingers in his hair and strokes the curls as soothingly as she knows how.

He slowly stills beneath her hands, and when Rey clears her throat to speak, her voice is surprisingly rough. “I’m probably the worst person to try and help you,” she murmurs, with a weak attempt at a chuckle.

At this statement, Poe finally lifts his head from her chest to look at her. There are tear tracks on his cheeks, and for a moment, he looks at her like she’s just said the most absurd thing he's ever heard. Then suddenly, he breaks out into relieved and shaky laughter. “Yeah, you’ve probably got that right,” he agrees, kindly. “But, maybe it’s just kind of comforting that you’ve experienced some of the same karked-up stuff as me? I’m just glad you’re here.” 

Poe pauses, looking for the right words, “And… I’m not mad at you for hearing. It’s, I mean, yeah, it’s a little bit scary that you – but, no. I don’t think – I don’t _believe_ that you would do that to me. What _he_ did… But thank you. For promising.”

‘Of course, Poe! I wouldn’t – I _couldn’t_ even think of doing that,” Rey breathes, feeling sick at the thought of ripping through Poe’s mind like that.

Poe is looking at her in a way that makes her feel strangely transparent, so she gently brushes the tears from his cheeks to give herself something else to focus on. One has gotten trapped at the corner of his mouth, so she runs her thumb across his lips to catch it on her skin. His sharp intake of breath makes her look up into his eyes again, and she feels almost like she did on Takonda when Kylo used the Force to freeze her in place, but this time, the feeling is accompanied by a surprisingly pleasurable thrill down her spine.

Suddenly, every cell of her body wants to stay in this room with Poe – to hide here, away from everything – the terror, the pain, the tragedy that is balanced on a knife point with their fragile hope, the darkness they are all at a real risk of drowning in. Rey isn’t ignorant, though. She knows that she’s following a dangerous line of thought – people talk, and if anyone got wind of her staying with Poe overnight… Rumours of a sexual relationship would run rampant. 

Wait. 

Thinking about a sexual relationship with Poe is absolutely not something she needs to be doing when they are currently both dressed in loose sleepwear, embarrassingly entwined on the floor of his quarters.

She pulls out of his grip, and starts to say: “I should try and let you get back to…”

“Do you think you might…”

“Sorry, you go.”

“No, you go.”

Poe shifts a bit uncomfortably and looks down at his hands, which had been resting on her waist just a moment before, and says, quietly, “Do you think you could stay here with me for the rest of the night? Just for tonight?”

Rey knows how much it can cost someone who counts himself as self-sufficient, as Poe does (as Rey herself does) to ask for help like that, so she replies without a second thought. 

“Of course.”

Poe smiles at her unsteadily, ‘You can have the bunk, I’ll just…”

“Nonsense,” Rey dismisses as she rises to her feet and holds out a hand to help him up, “I’m not that big; we can share.”

She doesn’t tell him how hard her heart is beating in her chest. She doesn't tell him how she’s having serious second thoughts. She doesn't tell him that she’s never shared a sleeping space in her entire life.

Poe takes her hand and stands to lead her over to the bunk. He narrows his eyes at her briefly, then displays that same, unnerving level of perception when he offers: “You maybe won’t want to sleep next to the wall. You should be able to leave if you need to.”

He climbs onto the bunk, using their still-joined hands to pull her down after him. She curls up on her side, facing away from him. Half-expecting him to do the same, she jumps a little when he slides an arm around her thin frame and pulls her back flush against his chest. “Is this okay?” he murmurs against the back of her neck, tickling the loose hairs there and sending a shiver down her spine.

Rey can’t tell him how shockingly _good_ and _safe_ it feels to be held by him this way, so she simply replies, “Yeah. This is okay.”

She doesn’t tell him that, at this point, Poe has probably touched her more than any other person. She doesn’t tell him that his touch no longer surprises her. She doesn’t tell him that she wants him to touch her.


	8. Be Advised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm GUSHING. Everyone is amazing! Thank you for reading! I love you all!
> 
> Notes for this chapter: I read an amazing story about Stormtrooper rebellions on here a while ago that talked about a non-verbal/sign language that 'troopers use to communicate behind the backs of their commanding officers. I cannot for the life of me find that story again, which is a shame, because I blatantly ripped off the author's idea and would like to give them credit! If you know which story I am rambling on about, please send me a message so I can credit the author :)
> 
> Oh hi there Finn! Get ready for the DREAM TEAM!!!! I love my Space Dorks.

The next morning, Rey wakes with the sun, as is her habit. She and Poe have shifted in sleep, and she’s now lying half atop him, her nose pressed into the join between his neck and shoulder, his arms circled loosely around her. For just a moment, she lets herself sink into the _feel_ and the _smell_ of him. It’s as if she’s careening towards something immense, and deep, stuck in a thrilling free fall with no way out. With a sigh that contains far more emotion than she’s willing to parse out in this instant, she pulls gently from the ring of his embrace, and leaves his room on feet silent from years of treading on sand.

As she makes her way back to the _Falcon,_ she can’t even muster up the energy to feel guilty about administering a Force trick or two to stay unnoticed leaving Poe’s room. There is a deep kind of emotional exhaustion settling into her bones; if she lets herself peek over the precipice she is teetering on the edge of, she can see some very difficult choices ahead. She needs guidance. _I need someone to show me my place in all of this,_ she remembers saying to Luke. 

It’s still true. 

For what is not the first time, and what definitely will not be the last, Rey wishes desperately that she simply has some context for how to relate to other people in a way that doesn’t involve a transaction. Emotional connection is something that she’s still having to get used to, and it can be confusing and scary and easy to misinterpret. She knows from experience that she can’t just expect people to feel the same way she does, even if the behaviour she observes might tell her so. If that was the case, Ben wouldn’t have betrayed her, despite the evidence of her vision, despite the way he spoke to her, looked at her. 

With a start, she realizes that this is the first time she has thought of Ben in some time. She’s been so busy repairing the ships, annotating the Jedi texts, and spending time with her friends that she’s stopped dwelling on her failure with him. She pauses, standing still on the landing pad, early morning light breaking over the treetops and mist curling around her ankles as she searches her feelings. She can’t be sure, but _perhaps_ the hurt is a little less. The blame on herself is a little less. She’s confused as hell about Poe, she still has no kriffing idea how to be a Jedi, but she feels just a little lighter.

She’s still wearing a delicate, personal smile when she climbs the ramp to the Falcon and is startled to find Finn sitting at the dejarik table, waiting for her and looking as worried and uncertain as he did the day they met.

Though Rey’s been quite occupied in recent weeks, Finn has never escaped her notice. He’s changed profoundly since she met him, disoriented and scared at Niima Outpost. The former Stormtrooper has taken on a new steadiness, and Rey suspects it’s in large part thanks to Rose Tico.

Just a few days ago, Rose had finally been given leave to return to active duty, and while she is occupied much of the time quite literally rebuilding their fleet, and while Finn is easing into his duties as a chief strategist, Rey still sees them together often. She’s extremely pleased and proud that Finn seems much more purposeful and motivated. Anyone with eyes can see that Finn and Rose are a good team, and Rey holds a small, precious hope deep in her heart that Finn’s reliance on the young mechanic might develop into something more than just a friend to look to for help navigating the mess of social convention.

This change that’s come over Finn has been so positive and lasting that she’s shocked to see him looking so unsure.

“Finn! What’s wrong?”

He looks abashedly at her, scratching the back of his neck. It’s clear that he’s searching for the right words, so Rey simply waits for him. “Well… No, nothing’s wrong exactly. I just, I wanted your advice… Hey, where did you come in from so early?”

Rey nearly gets whiplash he changes lanes so quickly. She flushes deeply and mutters something about early morning meditation before she says, “Hey! Off topic!”

She turns away from Finn’s deeply skeptical look and begins rifling through the storage units in the galley. With her back turned to him, she calls, “You want my advice? I’ll do my best, but I’m not sure I’ve ever given any advice before, let alone good advice…”

She finds what she’s looking for and plunks some leftover berries and cooked grain from the mess hall in front of him and herself, as well as two cups of water. Finn looks completely nonplussed. “What is this for?” he asks.

Rey shrugs, shoveling some of the cold cooked grain into her mouth. “I always find it easier to think with food in my stomach. Maybe this’ll help you figure out what you want to ask me.”

The answering smile Finn gives her is brilliant, and he helps himself to the food before him with enthusiasm. They eat in companionable silence until their bowls are clean, and Finn sits back with a satisfied sigh. “So,” Rey prompts, “What is it that’s on your mind?”

“I’ve been thinking about Stormtroopers.”

There isn’t really any response Rey can give to that statement, so she nods for him to continue, curling her fingers around her water cup. She chews her lip nervously, hoping she isn’t going to hear anything she isn’t ready to hear about her friend’s former life.

Finn swallows audibly before he can go on. “I got out. I found a life here in the Resistance, with you, and Poe, and Rose. I left because I had the chance to, and because I couldn’t do what they wanted me to do… How many other ‘troopers do you think would take that chance? How many others do you think don’t want to do what they’re told?”

It’s possible that Rey’s heart is beating so loudly that Finn can hear it across the table. She has to swallow, too, her throat suddenly very dry, before she responds. “What are you thinking, Finn?”

“The biggest problem the Resistance has right now is lack of support – lack of people, supplies, and ships. What if we could get them all the people and tech they needed? What if we could convince the ‘troopers to desert, just like me? What if we could inspire a full-scale mutiny – a _rebellion_?”

Something hits Rey at what feels like light speed, a sense that something momentous is about to happen, and that she _somehow knew it was coming._ Rey’s hands reach out to snatch Finn’s so fast that she knocks over her cup of water. Finn gapes as the wasted water goes unheeded, and Rey’s voice comes out full of poorly-supressed excitement. “Finn. Listen. This sounds insane, but, a little while ago, I had a dream. In the dream, I was told that I had to tell you to be ready – because ‘they’ were going to come to you. What if ‘they’ were-”

“Stormtroopers! Just like me!”

“Yes!” she’s nodding so hard her neck muscles hurt, “Finn – I think this is right! It feels right. There have to be more like you. You can’t be the only one!”

Finn nods vigorously, but then he looks frustrated again. “That’s what I thought, too. But I don’t know how to start it off. I don’t know how to get them here, and I’m not going to go to the General with a half-baked idea. That’s why I need your advice. How can we make that spark, how can we get the ones like me to leave, to come find us, without letting the rest of the First Order know what we’re doing?”

Rey thinks for a moment. “Well, what made you decide to leave?”

Finn blanches. He has to try several times before he can say, “I was ordered to fire on a village of unarmed civilians on Jakku. To kill every one of them. I couldn’t do it. But I was only able to avoid reconditioning for my insubordination because Poe was there. He provided the opportunity I needed – someone who could fly a TIE fighter – to escape. I felt like maybe I could take the chance, make the choice, make it out, because of Poe. I doubt it will be a choice that’s that easy for a lot of other ‘troopers. It was at least eighty per cent opportunity for me.”

Rey’s hands clench tighter on Finn’s. “So, we either have to provide them with the opportunity, like you had, or we have to provide them with motivation that’s stronger than their sense of fear, of consequences.”

Finn chuckles, “Yeah, and providing every Star Destroyer with a handsome, charismatic Resistance Pilot in custody is definitely beyond our means.”

Something twists inside Rey. She knows it’s a joke, but the thought of Poe back in the clutches of the First Order – of Kylo – horrifies her. Finn squeezes her hands back. “So. We have to give them the motivation. How can we do that?”

“Well,” Rey thinks for a moment, “Maybe, we have to show them the scale of the atrocities the First Order is committing. But I think…” she’s regarding Finn carefully, thinking about how he’s blossomed here with people who actually care about him.

“What? What else?”

“I think – we have to show them all the good things they’re missing. All the things that are _worth_ fighting for.”

Finn sits back and stares at her for a long moment, a look of admiration on his face. “Rey, I think you might have it. Rose told me that the Resistance isn’t about fighting what you hate. It’s about saving what you love.”

Stunned silence looms through the battered old ship.

She still feels a bit breathless as her words follow her next thought. “So, we have to show them. Broadcast it. Is there a communications channel, or any kind of announcements that make it to all of the Stormtroopers?”

“Absolutely,” Finn nods decisively. “There’re the Order-wide ‘Service Announcements.’ They’re essentially anti-Resistance propaganda that we had to watch every cycle… So, we can access it and counter with our own propaganda! I doubt it would be too challenging for the Resistance codebreakers. I think it was deemed a non-essential comms channel.”

It’s clear from the expression on Finn’s face that he takes a sudden mental left turn. “There’s a problem, though. If any ‘troopers do listen to our pirated message, and want to join up – how do we tell them where to find us without alerting the rest of the First Order?”

Rey feels a little tug at the back of her mind and follows it. “Did the Stormtroopers have any particular secretive way to communicate? I mean, for example, on Jakku, the scavengers had a series of code words we used to communicate about pricing changes and such, without Unkar Plutt knowing what we were talking about.”

Finn is already nodding along. “Yeah! There wasn’t a lot of talking allowed between ‘troopers, especially outside of our units’ bunkrooms, so we had a vocabulary of things we could say with gestures and body language. I think the first one everyone on Starkiller learned was ‘Be Advised: Kylo Ren is throwing a tantrum.’”

“Perfect!” Rey exclaims, “Then we can leave them a trail! Transmit a holo of a series of non-verbal clues over the hijacked communications channel – the name of a planet, or system – and then arrange pick-ups at the location so our base is never compromised! We can even change them any time the First Order figures out a location!”

Finn looks ready to jump out of his seat. “Yes! Rey, I really think there’s something to this! We’ll request a meeting with the General as soon as possible!”

Rey can feel a warm smile spreading over her face at Finn’s enthusiasm. She has to admit, it’s infectious. “My friend, this is all you. If you want me there to back up your idea with my – ‘Force Hunch,’ or whatever you want to call it – then I will be there. But this is your idea, you should be proud to present it to the General yourself.”

The look of pure panic Finn gives her at that comment is pretty priceless, and Rey finds herself laughing so hard her sides hurt. When she finally manages to get a hold of herself, she gasps, holding her stomach, “Come off it, Finn. She’s harmless, and you helped blow up Starkiller Base. She already loves you, and she’s going to love this plan.”

Still looking a little grim, Finn nods, then pushes himself up out of his seat. “If I don’t do it now, I’ll lose my nerve.”

She gives him a friendly pat on his arm to see him off. Just as he’s about to leave her line of sight, the former Stormtrooper-turned-strategist makes a complete one-hundred and eighty-degree to face her. “What?” she spreads her hands and looks at him expectantly.

“Rey, I can’t thank you enough for your help,” Finn says, sincerely, “You know any time you need help, you can ask me, yeah?”

Warm affection for her friend spreads through her chest, and she responds, “Of course I do, Finn. Thank you.”

“Good,” is all he says, and then he leaves to find Leia.

Rey sits alone at the dejarik table for a long time after he leaves, an idea forming in her head. If she wants to explore a different practice in the ways of the Force, then maybe the people whose help she needs aren’t the ancient Jedi. Perhaps the people she needs are closer than she thinks.


	9. Fake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S THIS???? A NEW CHAPTER?!
> 
> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for bearing with me while I went on a brief hiatus. I hope you'll be happy to know that my cosplay partner and myself won a prize in the contest! I am so happy to be writing again and to be giving you all this chapter. See if you can spot the reference to the OG trilogy, as well as the reference to my fave Laura Dern.
> 
> Content Warning Ahead: A character appears to be very injured, and it causes another character to have a panic attack and temporarily dissociate. 
> 
> Then, we've got some more cute affection from Poe, some more angst from Rey, some more of me being proud of peanut Finn.
> 
> I have a new job with variable hours, so my updates won't be quite as frequent, but I am aiming for a new chapter every other week.

Finn’s plan is met with more than acceptance – Leia is positively enthusiastic. “This won’t be the first time we’ve used propaganda,” she explains, “But this is the first time we’ll have used it in such a targeted fashion.”

They are standing in the room which has been repurposed as the General’s office. Originally, it was likely the quarters of one of the higher-ups in the Empire, but Leia has filled it with potted plants and other personal touches that make it look a bit friendlier. The General’s aide, her name is Kaydel, Rey remembers (there are so many names to remember, now) – brings up a holo on her datapad, and Rey barely restrains herself from laughing aloud in delight. The image displayed is of Poe, standing next to his old black and orange X-Wing, one hand and one foot crooked up on the ladder, his helmet under his arm and his hair blowing in the wind as he gazes off into the unknown. He looks very dashing, if a bit silly. 

Rey sneaks a glance at the real Poe, who is grinning self-consciously, but with good nature. She thinks she likes the real Poe better. He's been so kind and understanding, especially after their night spent wrapped in each other's arms. She was extremely relieved when he continued to treat her exactly as he always had after she slept in his room – it’s almost as if it never happened. 

“I suggest we work with a two-pronged tactic,” Leia says, interrupting Rey’s somewhat flustered musings. “While I agree with Finn’s idea that turning First Order Stormtroopers to our side might be the best way to bolster our ranks while simultaneously destabilizing our enemy, I also want to remind the rest of the galaxy that we’re still here. We’re still fighting.” 

Her statement lands heavily in the room, which has become so silent, you could hear a pin drop. 

“I feel this will help us secure some much-needed financial backing. Hopefully, it will also attract the remains of the Republic Navy and specialists like mechanics.”

Rey nods, thinking about how she used to dream of piloting X-Wings based on nothing more than second-hand stories and an old pilot’s helmet. Concrete evidence of a Resistance out there, still fighting but in need of help, will be plenty of motivation for some.

“Rey,” the young woman starts, hearing her name, “Poe, and Finn; you’ll each have a role to play in these holos. We’ll have a full briefing tomorrow detailing the specifics of the tactics we’ll employ. Dismissed!”

Rey is frozen to the spot, completely convinced she’s just misheard the General, but everyone else is filing out of her office, and a gentle tug on her arm compels her to do the same. Looking around for the owner of the hand on her arm, she discovers none other than the aforementioned pilot. He pulls her a little way along the corridor, then ducks into a side branch.

Rey opens her mouth to ask him what the hell is going on, but he cuts her off. “So, you’re probably freaking out right now, am I right?”

Rey’s mouth shuts with a snap, but then she opens it again immediately. “Why on earth would the General want me to be in the Resistance Propaganda? I mean, you, you make sense! You’re an amazing pilot, you're handsome, you know how to talk to people…” She trails off as Poe bursts out laughing.

He laughs for what Rey feels is an unnecessarily long time, and she slowly gets more and more irritated as he does. His eyes are streaming when he finally comes up for air. “I knew you’d react this way,” Poe says, his statement full of warm affection.

It’s very hard to hold onto irritation when someone is looking at you like you’re something precious, but Rey is up to the task.

“Rey – you’re going to be a Jedi. The first one in decades. Don’t you think having a legend on our side is a good enough reason to feel safer joining up? You and Finn are the perfect people to piss off the First Order. I’m sure she’ll have you both up there urging the ‘troopers to join the cause.”

She immediately turns on her heel with a scoff and leaves Poe Dameron to his stupid theory. She positively flees, her face burning like Jakku’s sun when she hears from behind her: “So you think I’m handsome, huh?”

**

The next morning, Rey reports reluctantly but dutifully to the propaganda briefing. She sticks close to Finn’s side, still miffed at Poe. There are quite a few more people at this briefing than there were at yesterday’s meeting, and Rey is feeling the full force of a lot of curious glances in her direction. She angles her body slightly behind Finn’s, hoping that maybe she’ll just melt into the background. She prays to the Force that the General has forgotten about her crazy idea to promote Rey as some kind of – “Resistance Selling Point.”

The tactics of Finn’s Stormtrooper operation are outlined first by Command. As more and more of his role is revealed, Rey forgets to worry about herself and starts to become much more concerned for Finn. Finn will be recording two types of holo: one designed to be a general pro-Resistance message broadcast to the entire First Order that contains coded communication encouraging the Stormtroopers to revolt, and the other will be devised to give specific directions to rebelling ‘troopers attempting to find the Resistance. It is the universal message that has Rey’s stomach tied up in knots. 

Leia has proposed that Finn once again don the white shell of a Stormtrooper in order to deliver the first part of the broadcast. It is the belief of the Resistance Command that the ‘troopers will be more receptive to a fellow Stormtrooper – so Finn must portray himself as one before removing the helmet and revealing himself as a person with a name who has found a home with the Resistance. The plan is a solid one, but Rey knows that she and Poe aren’t the only members of the Resistance with nightmares – and she knows that Finn’s centre around that featureless, white husk more often than not.

Despite Rey’s anxieties, the former Stormtrooper remains admirably stoic throughout this part of the briefing, and she radiates with pride for her friend. This will no doubt be extremely difficult for him, but he’s found a place and a purpose here, and that will help him overcome his fear. That, and the fact that Rose will be allowed in the room with him while he films his holos. 

According to the plan, the rest of the holos will seem likewise vague and benignly inspirational but will in fact convey a series of directions for the deserting ‘troopers to follow to the Resistance base. Small, durable holo-projectors with each stage of the directions will be left at a series of way-points. The hope is that a complicated and seemingly random process of following clues will throw off any pursuit by the First Order. It’s hard for Rey to believe that something that began as a germ of an idea discussed over breakfast has come together so quickly. It’s brilliant.

When Leia finishes up explaining Finn’s role and turns her intimidating attention on the young Jedi, Rey hopes she doesn’t gulp too audibly. “I’m afraid we’re planning to do something rather reckless with you, my dear. Your existence is no secret to the First Order and its new Supreme Leader,” the General’s voice wavers almost imperceptibly at this mention of her son, “But the rest of the galaxy has no idea that Jedi have been renewed in you. So, we’re going to make them aware.”

There are murmurs amongst those assembled, and Rey sees Poe stiffen out of the corner of her eye. “Commander Dameron will be playing the role of the dashing everyman to your mystical Jedi. We’ll be asking you to demonstrate some of your powers, and Poe will be there to react and deliver narration; he’s old hat at this type of thing. Any questions?”

The entire room turns its attention to Poe as he clears his throat. The pilot is working very hard at looking casual as he leans against the wall and trains a sharp gaze on the General. “How can we guarantee Rey’s safety in this? She’s going to face a world of doubt and hate just because of who she is,” Poe straightens up from the wall and plants his feet against Leia’s glower. “Not to mention, you’re putting a target on her back for every bounty hunter and puffed up wannabe imperial who wants to put an end to the Jedi once and for all” – Poe raises his hands in a gesture of submission, a late attempt to appease the General – “I just want that to be acknowledged. Because neither Rey nor Finn will have any anonymity after this. They won’t be able to go anywhere without being recognized and put at risk, and I want them both to understand that before we move ahead.”

Rey notes that Poe’s posture is still as relaxed as possible so that he doesn’t represent a threat, but his questions are in direct opposition to his jovial attitude with her the day before. Why didn’t he talk to her about his concerns the day before? What’s changed since then? She opens her mouth to object – she can take care of herself – but the General is already responding. 

“Thank you for your concerns, Commander, but I’m sure Rey and Finn understand the consequences of participating. However, I will give you both the opportunity right now to back out if you feel this will be too much for you.”

Rey’s throat feels tight with unease at the thought of being recognized the galaxy over, but she knows that she doesn’t truly have a choice. Her choice was made for her the day she left to try and train with Luke. There’s no such thing as an anonymous Jedi. Skywalker didn’t even find that on his island. Moreover, the Resistance is still on its last legs despite the few courageous souls who have been trickling in since they arrived on _Kashyyyk’s_ moon. Without a real influx of people, their little fighting force has no hope against the First Order. “I understand,” she says, as steadily as she can, “But I think it’s something I have to do.”

“Me too,” agrees Finn, “It was my idea, after all.”

This response garners some chuckles from those assembled, and works to diffuse the tension, somewhat. Leia simply nods smartly and says, “Very well. Finn, you’ll go with Team One. Rey and Poe, you’re on Team Two with Lieutenant Connix. Dismissed.”

Rey finds herself ushered along behind the capable Kaydel Ko Connix, Poe at her side.

“Poe, why did you say all that in front of the General?” Rey hisses, trying to keep the conversation as private as possible. “You could have just talked to Finn and me about it. You could have gotten into trouble again!”

Poe grins tightly in response. “Yeah, I might have. I’m working on the whole ‘taking orders’ thing,” he lowers his voice, “But I had no idea they were planning to put you out there to the public. I thought you were going to be involved in the propaganda directed at the First Order. I guess all I wanted was for them to publicly acknowledge the danger you’re facing.” 

She watches his throat bob out of the corner of her eye as they continue to rush along the corridor. When he speaks again, his voice is very tense. “Sometimes, I – we – forget to care about individuals as much as the cause. And I don’t want you – either of you – to agree to something without full knowledge of what you might have to sacrifice for the galaxy. There’s a lot to lose.”

“Well, then, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“How can you treat your role so casually, Poe? You have as much to lose as either Finn or me. More. You have family.”

The pilot stops dead in the hallway and pulls Rey to face him, eliciting an exasperated huff from Connix when she realizes they’ve stopped.

He gives her a fierce little shake, his hands strong on her upper arms. “My life isn’t any more valuable than yours or Finn’s because I’ve got family, Rey. I need you to understand that. You don’t have to become a martyr for the Resistance. We’re your family, not just an ideal. And we’d miss you if you were gone.” Poe lifts a hand and ghosts his thumb along her jaw, his gaze dark. “I’d miss you.”

Before Rey can even think of a response, Connix clears her throat irritably and Poe tugs her along the corridor. The entire briefing and the encounter with Poe has thrown Rey completely off-kilter, so she follows meekly. They turn the corner into a disused, smaller secondary hangar. Connix points Poe towards a group of aides who are waiting with an unsettling amount of clothing and cosmetics, and steers Rey towards a side room that probably started life as a utility closet. 

When Connix turns to face her, Rey is shocked to see a friendly smile on her normally serious and businesslike face. “Don’t worry about a thing, Rey. We’re going to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible. I know this isn’t really your wheelhouse.”

The young Jedi nods and smiles gratefully, “Thank you. It really, really isn’t.”

Connix laughs and hands her a bundle of fabric. “You can change into this. Then, we’ll start with the basics. Lifting rocks.”

A delighted laugh bursts out of Rey before she can cover her mouth to smother it. Connix gives her shoulder a friendly little squeeze, then leaves to give her some privacy. The fabric turns out to be a gorgeous set of robes modeled after the Jedi garb of the old Republic, but in varying shades of grey as opposed to cream and brown. Rey wonders who chose these robes, and whether they understand the significance of the colours, as she now does from her painstaking studies of the Jedi lore. 

Sighing, she shrugs the robes on, trying to calm and centre herself for the task ahead. 

They begin with still images, to be distributed on flimsy and holo still over the communication networks. Each and every pose Connix has them try feels absolutely ridiculous to Rey, but none more so than the one where she is told to thrust a stick above her head (which will be edited in post-production to look like a lightsaber) and Poe crouches in a somewhat feline stance at her feet, pointing his blaster off at imaginary enemies. 

By the time they actually get to filming the holos, she’s so frustrated she could spit, but she holds it in for the sake of everyone present. She knows Poe can tell she’s struggling, because he is keeping up a constant stream of encouragement and support. Connix’s helpers have found a bunch of leftover foam insulation that they intend to toss at Poe and Rey to suggest battle debris. Rey is meant to deflect it away from Poe and herself with the Force. Between her frustration with the absurdity of the situation and Poe’s attempts to cheer her up by imitating the noise of his blaster with his mouth, she has a hard time maintaining the concentration needed to deflect the foam. They try again and again, take after take, while Rey fails to stop most of what is thrown at them.

Finally, she holds up her hands in defeat. “Please, I just need a minute to concentrate.”

Without waiting for permission, she walks away from the crew and out the main door of the hangar. It’s reached midday, and she stands in the weak sunlight, taking in big gulps of fresh air. Wearily, she reminds herself that she does not control the Force, it is not her power. She is a part of it, just as it is a part of her. Rolling her neck and saving one last glance out over the natural splendour surrounding the base, Rey heads back into the hangar after only a short period of respite.

The moment alone proves truly beneficial, however, as Rey finds her concentration much improved after the reminder of her own place in the galaxy. The next few takes go much better, with her accuracy at blocking debris much improved. Suddenly, a sense of something dangerous lances through her, and she thrusts her hand across Poe’s line of vision, just stopping a smaller piece of junk from hitting him. Startled, Poe looks at her questioningly. “I think there’s a piece of transparisteel embedded in that one,” Rey says, “Hazard of using junk, I suppose.”

Poe plucks it out of the air and turns it over in his hand. There is indeed a jagged chunk of the clear shielding in the dark foam – hard to see and light enough in weight to avoid detection by the crew member who threw it. The crew member looks totally mortified at her error, but Poe laughs it off with his characteristic good humour. “Could have happened to anyone. Don’t worry about it. Rey’s got my back.”

Quicker than a scavenger on valuable salvage, Poe snakes a hand across Rey’s lower back under her outer robe, and plants a brief, searing kiss on her cheek. “Thanks for saving my pretty face, sweetheart,” he says, with the most unashamedly roguish smile she’s seen on his face yet.

While Rey struggles to find any kind of a response, Connix calls for another set. Poe is whisked off to have some makeup applied, and Connix pulls her aside to explain what’s coming up. “For the next set, we’re going to have you defend Poe from some enemies. We’ll make it look like he’s been heroically injured, so you can keep the bad guys off him. You’ll have your pretend saber for this one, but I know how wicked you are even with your staff, so please try not to injure my crew members. You’re just going to be sparring, okay?”

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll try. I’m sorry I’m so rubbish at this, Kay. I’m not a very impressive Jedi.”

Connix looks taken aback. “You kidding? We’ve gotten some really great footage so far! These are going to be incredible recruitment tools when we’re done with them.”

Rey looks at her skeptically, but lets it go. Instead, when Connix leaves her to set up for the next shot, she focuses on remembering how it felt to use her saber against enemies. It was a kind of primal focus, and she wants to try and find that again – hopefully it will keep her from second-guessing her choices as she has every moment of this process so far.

She closes her eyes and centres herself again, reaching out, just a little, to feel that spark of the Force inside her and all around her. She can feel the busy hive of activity that is the holo crew, and then a ripple of warmth coming towards her. _Poe._ She can’t help smiling as her eyes spring open, but her expression quickly changes to one of dread. Poe is covered in cuts and bruises so severe she’s not sure how he’s standing, let alone walking toward her with his confident swagger. She claps a hand over her mouth, horrified. He looks almost exactly as he did in the dream she had about him just after arriving at the base.

Poe seems to sense her distress, because he makes a beeline for her. She reaches out to him as he gets near and seizes him by the arms, her gaze raking over him, checking for any further injury. Poe manages to get his hands up to cup her face, and dimly, she realizes he’s gently but firmly repeating her name. “Wha…” she’s nearly speechless with shock, “How?”

“Rey. Rey – it’s okay. Everything’s fine. I’m fine. Remember? They put me in make-up. It’s fake. This is all fake. I’m not hurt. I’m fine.”

The young Jedi is nearly hyperventilating from the distress of seeing Poe looking like he’s just come from a First Order interrogation session, but his words manage to cut through the fog of confusion. “Fake. Right,” she responds, weakly. 

Rey makes herself release his arms, sure she’s pressed bruises into his skin with nothing but her grip on him. She nods as though she’s fine and turns away, feeling sick. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry. I forgot. Let’s just get this over with.”

But she’s not fine. As they begin recording and the techs make their attacks on her, Rey feels the well inside of her, the place that she imagines looks like the dark pit on _Ahch-To,_ open its black maw and suddenly she’s _within_ a vision, fighting off a faceless bevy of warriors, each cowled and masked, swathed in black and armed with red lightsabers like Kylo Ren. These must be the Knights of Ren, and they are coming for her, and coming for Poe. They swarm at her like insidious insects, and she gives ground as she’s pressed from all sides. 

She can sense the warmth of Poe behind her, and she realizes all at once that she desperately doesn’t want that warmth to leave her life. The dark thing within her opens its jaws wide in a roar and so, so easily, _pushes_ its power out of her body in a great wave. The Force speaks to her in a low, seductive whisper, telling her that her enemies have been neutralized, and so she turns to Poe, triumphant at her victory and confident in her ability to prevent any harm from coming to him. It’s only when she kneels down at his side, inspecting him for further wounds, that she notices that the usual openness is gone from his face, and he’s looking at her warily. He’s afraid.

With a horrible lurch, Rey comes back to herself. She looks around and with a startled gasp, releases the half-dozen terrified techs from the Force Hold she’d been unwittingly using. The crew members all back off hastily. The young woman stares around herself in horror, then looks back to Poe. 

“I’m sorry!” she gasps out, then flees.


	10. Responsibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing massively traumatic happens in this chapter! It's a surprise to me too! There's some character growth all around!!!! People are figuring out their issues!!!!
> 
> (I'm actually so pleased with this chapter, folx! I hope you like it too!)
> 
> Also, remember when my chapters were short? Hahahahahahah!

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” Leia jokes when she finds Rey alone in the _Falcon._

Rey can’t find it in herself to laugh in response. (Or give any response, really.) She’s seated at the dejarik table in the battered freighter’s small mess, head bowed in misery, doing nothing in particular. She’s been sitting there for quite some time. Long enough that if she were to take stock of herself, she would note that she can’t remember the last time she’s eaten, and she’s thirsty enough that dehydration is a real possibility. She can’t even muster the courage to look the General in the eye.

“May I sit?” Leia asks, when her icebreaker is met with a less than stellar response from the young Jedi before her.

Rey shrugs, and Leia suppresses a sigh in response as she takes a seat. “Connix has – made me aware of the incident that occurred during filming…” she ventures, before stopping abruptly, no doubt noticing the tears that are freely dripping into Rey’s lap.

“Are you going to send me away?” Rey’s voice is small and flat.

The General places a gentle hand on Rey’s arm. “Now, why on earth would I do that? You do realize that my current second-in-command committed mutiny not more than a few weeks ago, right? Of all the people I could send away, why would I start with you?”

Rey can hardly believe her ears. For a long moment, she doesn’t dare to breathe, but when her lungs start to burn, she draws in a shuddering breath. “But… Those people. That I – I could have hurt them! I felt the Dark in me rise up and it was so easy…” Rey’s voice sounds saturated with horror at what had happened, even to her own ears.

“Rey,” Leia cuts her off, sternly. “I’m not going to tell you that anyone involved was happy about what happened; that would be dishonest. However, it’s normal to expect someone learning about the Force to occasionally slip up.” 

For just a moment, the older woman appears to collapse in on herself with an exhalation that contains eons of suffering. “If anything, this is my fault. I should have seen that you were struggling with your control, but I’m afraid that I’ve been stretched very thin lately. I’m sorry, Rey. I can’t help but feel like every person who should have been there to teach you has let you down, myself included.”

Rey looks up at Leia for the first time since she entered the decrepit, well-loved ship, stunned. “ _You’re_ sorry?” she says, incredulous. “I was the one who lost control and scared all those people and Poe – er – Commander Dameron…”

Leia nods, solemnly. “Yes, you did. Those were your actions, and I thank you for accepting responsibility for them. However, you’ve also been labouring alone, without any help, trying to control a power that you haven’t even begun to understand. Therefore, I think we can agree that you were not entirely responsible.” 

Leia seizes Rey’s hands and grips them tight, grounding the younger woman with her own impressive strength. “While I am certainly not a Jedi, I do have some knowledge of the Force, thanks to my brother and my own explorations, and I should have offered to pass on my experience to you a long time ago. So, in light of recent events, I’m offering it now.”

Rey can’t help the sob that escapes her throat as she throws herself into the General’s arms. “I’m so sorry. I never – _never_ – want to feel that way again. It’s just – I’m so overwhelmed and I have no idea what I’m doing, and people here look at me like I’m some kind of… Leader, or saviour, but I’m not, I’m just a scavenger!” 

It’s uncertain whether or not any of Rey’s outburst is even audible to Leia, given how deeply she’s buried her face into the older woman’s shoulder, but the General is patting her back soothingly, and that’s something, Rey supposes.

“I know, honey. I know. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that you don’t want to feel that way again. The path to the Dark Side is like a seduction – it feels good to give in to it. If you say it doesn’t feel good for you to use the powers of the Dark, then I doubt you’ll be tempted to use them further. Even so, we’re going to try and make sure you don’t feel like that again. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with feeling sad or scared or anxious – despite what you might read in those ancient tomes you’ve dragged halfway across the galaxy – but I’m going to help you find a way to work through those emotions and let them go. Starting now, you and I are going to meet once a week, and I’m going to teach you some techniques to help you cope.”

Rey pulls away to look at Leia again, a precious and tentative feeling of hope infusing her entire frame. “Really?”

The General’s smile is impossibly warm. “Really.” Leia pauses, looking as though she’s searching for the right words. “I don’t know much about the combative arts of the Jedi, unfortunately. You’ll have to work on that for yourself for now. However, I think that the techniques I’ll show you will help you work through your frustration and find more balance.”

Leia chuckles aloud when Rey hugs her again in gratitude. “You’re welcome. And, for the record: no one is mad at you or afraid of you because of what happened. Especially not Commander Dameron.”

Rey feels like her face is on fire when she draws away from her embrace with Leia, so she hastily wipes the leftover tear tracks from her face to hide the flush of her skin.

“Thank you, General. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help.”

Leia pats her arm and stands, somewhat shakily. Rey rushes to retrieve the older woman’s cane, reminded rather unpleasantly that the General isn’t nearly as strong as she pretends to be.

Leia waves her off, nonetheless, and makes her own way to the hatch. Before she exits down the ramp, she turns once more to Rey and says: “I suspect you’ve already received this message, perhaps on multiple occasions and in differing formats, but I hope it will sink in this time. In the Resistance, we help each other. I strongly encourage you to ask for help if you find yourself struggling again.”

**

Despite the comfort the General was able to offer her, Rey does seek out each and every crew member she had restrained with the Force and apologizes profusely. She doesn’t know it, but the action endears her to the general populous of the Resistance even more than she already had. She is so earnest in her mission for redemption that not a single person who she inadvertently hurt is left with feelings of resentment.

She leaves Poe for last. When she does work up the courage to approach him, she corners him outside the quartermaster’s station – Poe has had to requisition yet another jacket – and stumbles through an awkward, poorly-worded apology before attempting to turn around and flee without giving the pilot a chance to get a word in edgewise. However, Poe manages to catch her arm as she scurries away and prevents her from leaving. “Rey, I’m okay. I promise. We’re all okay. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

Rey can do nothing but nod, a feeling of intense exhaustion washing over her like a tidal flow. All the time, lately, it feels like she’s just on the edge of bursting into tears, and she bites her lip to keep it from happening now.

A moment of silence stretches out while Poe gently continues to hold her there. It’s clear he has something else to say to her but wants to phrase it the right way. “Can you – Was it the make-up that scared you?

Poe’s uncanny insight cuts straight to her core yet again. He had known, instinctually, that her loss of control over the Force was a reaction borne out of fear, not any kind of malice. Rey nods again, then makes herself speak. “M-my nightmares. In them, you’re hurt. Or Finn, or Rose, or Leia. When I saw you looking like that, I thought…”

The look on Poe’s face in response to her words is heartbreakingly, horribly understanding. “Oh, sweetheart… Can I?” He holds out his arms, and Rey gratefully steps into them, hit with a feeling of relief so immense that her legs become a bit wobbly. 

_Stars_ it feels good to be held by Poe. 

She presses into him, chasing the warmth of his body, and she can hear his sudden intake of breath, can sense his heartrate kick up dramatically against her. She knows her heart is doing the same.

Rey wonders if she looked him in the eyes right now what she would see. Would he be nervous? Afraid? Would he be looking at her with friendship and understanding, or would there be something more? 

Would she see desire? 

She finds, with a small jolt of pleasure somewhere near her pelvis, that she doesn’t mind the idea of Poe looking at her with desire. It is the complete opposite from how she feels when Kylo looks at her, and it’s a heady sensation.

Poe’s muscles shift beneath her hands, and he pulls away a bit, then tucks his fingers under her chin, tilting her head up to look at him.

She feels curiously breathless as she raises her eyes to his. But, rather than finding the answers she wants when she finally meets Poe’s eyes, Rey is left wanting. His face is unreadable. It’s like there is too much there for her to parse out any one emotion from the next. His gaze is roaming over her face in a way that makes her feel like she’s being read like Poe reads the field of battle laid out before him when he’s in his X-Wing. A muscle in his jaw jumps once, twice, before he asks: “Okay?” 

The young Jedi has completely lost her voice under his scrutiny, so she just nods.

“Good,” the pilot says, with a firm jerk of his head. Then, almost as if he can’t help himself, he surges forward and presses a momentary, blazing kiss to her forehead. Before Rey can pull him in, put his lips where she suddenly realizes she wants them, he’s gone. 

**

_Rey is standing in the rain._

_The water on her skin and all around her is deliciously warm. This downpour doesn’t feel like the rain on Ahch-To. The droplets that fell there, while miraculous to the desert-scoured scavenger, were cold and biting. Here, in this place, it feels as if the very air clings to her with a fascinating, thrilling warmth._

_Everything, as far as her eye can see, is green. The trees around her are absolutely massive, with arching canopies and purplish trunks. The foliage is so thick and lush that it is hard to see gaps of light through the branches. There was a word she had read on Jakku, in an old adventure holo-novel she had salvaged, and the word was 'jungle'. She’d never understood what a jungle really was until she saw this place._

_She lifts her arms above her head and spins in a slow arc, closing her eyes and opening her mouth to catch the rainwater on her face and on her tongue._

_“You’re getting drenched, you know. Might want to come in eventually.”_

_Rey turns. Behind her is a towering structure of ancient, monumental stone, pyramidal in shape. It is covered with climbing ferns and moss. There is a doorway, and just inside lingers Poe Dameron. Sheets of water stream across the opening in the rock, obscuring his face, but she knows that it’s him._

_Rey grins at him through the deluge. “Or, you could come out here and join me.”_

_Poe chuckles. “I’m good, sweetheart. I lived this.”_

_He extends his hand out past the torrent of water, droplets pouring off his skin in a way that make Rey want to follow their path with her tongue. Without hesitating, she places her hand in his, and he pulls her into the darkness of the – temple. The building is an old Massassi temple. The knowledge is there, complete in her head, as if it has always been there. She doesn’t know how she knows this, but she does._

_Poe brings her close to him, and she goes willingly. The dimness of the temple interior is cut somewhat by the flowers that creep up the walls, glowing faintly with an unexpected bioluminescence, so Rey can see Poe’s face quite clearly. His expression is earnest, but somehow hungry. “Your galaxy is about to get a whole lot bigger, Rey. There are things that need finding. A tree. A crystal. Belonging.”_

_“What? Poe, I don’t under…” Poe stops her words with a finger to her lips._

_“Shh. It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about it just yet. You’re safe here, and we still have some time.”_

_What does he mean? Rey shivers in the relative cool the comes with the shade of the temple._

_Poe notices her slight quake and runs his knuckles up her arm. She shivers again, but this time it has nothing to do with the temperature. Poe licks his lips, considering her drenched state, his eyes darkening. “We’d better get you out of those wet clothes. You could catch cold.”_

_His fingers seek out the edge of her arm wraps, and his eyes hold a question. Rey swallows nervously, heat rising up through her core like the sun creeping over the horizon as she dips her head in assent. Slowly, torturously slowly, Poe begins to unwrap the fabric wound around her arms. Rey bites back a desperate gasp as his head plunges down and he presses feather-light kisses to every millimetre of rain-soaked skin he reveals._

_Far from catching cold, Rey feels as though she could burst into flames at any second. The touch of his lips leaves burning trails up her arms, and she begins to feel languid with overstimulation. The pilot does not rush, and by the time he has both of her arms fully exposed to the humid air, Rey is shuddering with arousal. He slides his fingers skilfully along the opening of her grey vest, his hands brushing against her sides here and there in a way that is maddingly light. Rey’s mind is screaming for more, more, more, and she’s breathless as he finally pushes the vest off her shoulders inch by aching inch until it joins her discarded wraps on the stone floor of the temple._

_Rey realizes her fingers are digging into the hard muscles just above Poe’s hips, and judging by the way he’s smiling predatorially at her, she guesses they’ve been there for quite some time. His eyes are ravenous as he reaches up and slides a thumb teasingly over the damp fabric covering her breast, her nipples peaking instantly in response._

_“Poe…” she gasps, as he leans in and she feels the ghost of his lips on hers._

**

Rey’s eyes snap open. She’s in her own bunk in the crew quarters of the _Falcon._ She feels swollen and slick between her legs, and her muscles are heavy with unreleased pleasure. She lays there for a moment, staring up at the metal hull above her, fundamentally certain now about what she feels for Poe. Affection: certainly. Attraction: absolutely. She _wants_ him. Sexually and romantically. Now what the hell is she supposed to do about that?

With a huff of frustration, Rey sits up.

“What were you dreaming about?”

Rey yelps in surprise. Kylo Ren is sitting on the floor across the room from her, his back pressed against the wall.

Quick as a whip, Rey bites back: “Oh, so you’re asking, now? Why aren’t you just digging around in my head if you’re so curious?”

He smirks slightly, without real humour, his generous mouth quirking up in the corner. “I wouldn’t do that to you again. Not anymore. Besides, we can’t do that over the Bond. Remember the first time I saw you?”

Rey flinches, recalling how he had fruitlessly tried to force her to tell him the location of Luke Skywalker. “Well, it’s none of your business... Why are you here? And couldn’t you have chosen a better time of day?” She pulls her sheets up under her chin, suddenly remembering she’d gone to sleep in a sleeveless top and her underwear because it’s been so hot lately at the base.

Kylo scoffs. “Why do you think I’m over here? From my perspective, I woke up with you in my bed.”

Rey closes her eyes against a wave of revulsion at the thought of being in Kylo’s bed, and fights to focus on the fact that he’d been courteous enough to give her what space he was able to. Perhaps she can speak to him reasonably if his attitude is currently as rational as it appears. Eyes still shut tight, she sighs deeply, then yanks her sheets off of her bunk and wraps them around her body. She climbs down from the berth and pads silently across durasteel flooring to sit down next to him. His look of honest surprise is quickly covered in a mask of indifference, but she still sees it.

The young Jedi keeps a clear arms-length of space between herself and the Supreme Leader, but she’s tired. All she wants is some peace. So, she’s willing to talk, if it gets her any closer to figuring this Jedi thing out.

“What do you want, Ben?” she asks, wearily.

She can hear the undisguised _want_ in Kylo’s voice when he answers. “I would have thought that was obvious.”

Rey sighs, thoroughly discomfited to have confirmation of his feelings for her. The vision shown to her by the Force last time he appeared in her room is true. Kylo holds some kind of perverse sexual or romantic desire for her.

“I’m not a selenium drive to be salvaged, Ben. You can’t own me. You can’t rule me.”

Ben sneers in an extremely condescending fashion at her statement. “I don’t want to _own_ you. I want you to join me. I want you to rule with me in a new galaxy, built on the ashes of the old.”

Rey stares across at her bunk, feeling the ridges of the wall digging into her back, completely unwilling to look him in the eye. She’s exhausted already. They always talk in circles, and she just wants a way to break through Kylo’s stubborn, single-minded focus on subjugating everything and everyone. “I don’t want that, Ben. I want affection and acceptance; friends and family. Love. Peace. I don’t see those things in your galaxy.”

It is audible in the silence and gloom of her quarters when Ben opens his mouth to answer, but then closes it again with a sharp snap. “I didn’t think you could bring yourself to offer those things to me,” she mutters bitterly.

A small part of herself is willing to admit that she might have even once wanted those things from Kylo, back when the Ben Solo she saw in her vision on Ahch-To seemed like a possibility rather than a fantasy. Kylo is about to retort when she cuts him off, looking to derail their usual conversational course. “Tell me about your lightsaber,” she demands.

Her terse order genuinely surprises a laugh out of him, and it sounds hoarse and tentative with disuse. “And why, pray tell, would I tell you about my saber? Do you think I’m just going to give you the tools to repair and use the saber that is rightfully mine?”

She thinks back to their previous interactions, where he has repeatedly offered to guide her, to teach her, and Rey answers with superlative confidence and an intangible sense of certainty. “Yes. I do. I think you want me to succeed, because you know that the only way we’re likely to meet again is on the field of battle.”

The young man beside her, the some-time Supreme Leader of the First Order, and forever conflicted, guilt-ridden boy, is stunned into silence. Rey smirks with a sense of satisfaction, knowing that this is the third time in under an hour that she’s managed to legitimately put him off balance.

“Fine,” he huffs, his perverse desire to be in her company as well as his masochistic need to see her succeed apparently winning out.

Rey arches her eyebrow, expectantly, and with a smile that is only slightly bitter, Kylo begins to tell her about how he built his lightsaber. 

They talk until dawn.


	11. Transparent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that was such a long wait for an update, folks! Hope you enjoy this one. We're nearing the home stretch now!!!

To Rey’s unending horror, the public propaganda holos of her and Poe go out almost immediately. The techs had apparently worked around the clock in order to get the footage edited and ready for public consumption as quickly as possible. Finn’s holovid, however, is met with a delay of a day or two more while a slicer worked their way into the First Order’s military-wide holonet. No such luck for the young Jedi, however, and just days after filming, Rey and the rest of the Resistance are gathered in a darkened meeting room to watch their work before it goes out to the Galaxy.

She cringes as she watches the footage of herself, unable to separate the young woman on screen – hero, Jedi, warrior – from the naïve scavenger girl from Nowhere. Poe, on the other hand, is brilliant. As charming and debonair as always, he nevertheless has a surprising gravitas, which Rey suspects he has gained only in the last few months, due to the massive losses he has personally experienced and been responsible for.

Curiously, and Rey feels her face heat up even as she watches, they have chosen to edit the footage to make it look almost like a romance. Like she and Poe met and fell in love, and they are now partners in both love and war. In the footage they’ve chosen, Poe appears to be singularly focused on Rey. He is constantly checking in with her using deliberate little touches to her arm, or her shoulder, or – _stars, how did she not notice that one?_ – her waist. They even include the footage of the moment where Rey prevented Poe from being injured by the flying hunk of debris and the affectionate – _is she imagining how heated that looks?_ – kiss he had given her as thanks.

When the vid reaches the point in the shoot where Poe was made up to be injured, Rey grips onto Finn’s hand, sickened all over again to see him covered in blood and bruises. And Rey – Rey on the holo – that Rey becomes terrifying. Her face is stony, with a startling lack of emotion. All Rey can see is a terrifying void behind her own eyes. It is only when she leans down to check on Poe that this expressionless mask breaks into a look so astonishingly tender and open that Rey feels as though her body has been split open for anyone to examine her insides at their leisure.

She is frozen to the spot, petrified by abject humiliation as the lights come up and dozens of pairs of eyes turn to look at her. She’s about to flee when they all push in to talk to her and congratulate her on her wonderful performance while she stammers in response. Finn and Rose, noticing her distress, jump in almost immediately to provide interference. Rey smiles at them gratefully as she slips away.

When she’s about to slide out the door, Rey feels a prickle at the back of her neck, and she lifts her head to make eye contact with Poe. His gaze on her is all naked emotion, none of it clear. Rey isn’t sure she wants to stick around to find out what those emotions are, so she tears her eyes away and continues out the door.

~~

Rey and Poe successfully manage to avoid each other over the next several days as Finn’s message gets screened and sent out. It is during this time that Rey begins her sessions with Leia. The General grudgingly admits to the young Jedi that she is unable to climb up to what has become her habitual meditation space on the rise above the base. Instead, they wander a short way into the forest, flanked just inside the edge of sight by several silent, watchful guards. Leia finds them a fallen log, and they sit amongst the foliage, staring up, up at the branches of the enormous trees far above them.

“Damn, this place is making me nostalgic for speeder chases and covert ops.”

Rey looks at the General sidelong, arching a questioning eyebrow. “These trees remind me of Endor. I was part of the ground troops sent to destroy the shield generator protecting the second Death Star,” here, Leia pauses for a moment, apparently lost in the memory.

“When I’m trying to shield my mind and calm my emotions, I meditate by using the visual metaphor of the uniform I wore on Endor. Every piece I wore was designed to protect me, so when I feel like my mind needs a shield, I imagine myself dressing in each layer, from the camouflaged fabric to the helmet to the bug spray I wore. It can be a useful tool to make me feel safe and calm.

“Tell me about what you wore to protect yourself while you were scavenging on Jakku. Can you remember it in very clear detail?”

Rey nods, closing her eyes to picture it. “My boots, soft-soled but thick, to protect my feet from sharp debris and shifting sand dunes; loose, comfortable clothing in light colours to allow for ease of movement in tight spaces and also to camouflage me; scarf and goggles to protect me from the heat; arm wraps to protect me from the sun as well as burns and scrapes; my staff to defend against other scavengers…” she trails off, seeing a very clear picture of the girl she used to be such a short time ago, a girl who was so very different from the person she is now.

“Now,” Leia prompts, “Imagine yourself at the beginning of the day, getting ready to go out and scavenge the wrecks. The Force, and your connection to it, is a glowing light inside of you. As you dress yourself in each layer, imagine it containing and protecting that light within you until all you can see is a tiny pinprick. This tiny light will be the tether you maintain, to keep you connected to the Force, ready to be tapped into at any moment.”

As the General speaks, Rey breathes, then sinks deeper into her mind, wrapping defensive layers of armour around herself. Not only does the act of visualization calm her mind with the familiarity of the morning routine she had kept for years, but it also tamps down on the prickly, overstimulated way she hadn’t realized she’d become accustomed to feeling. She feels the calm wrap around her and is finally able to access the feeling of complete balance she had found during her first lesson with Luke on Ahch-To. When she opens her eyes again, she can see by the quality of the light that some time has passed, and she is now alone on the log, a single guard left behind to watch her back.

Rey smiles, privately pleased at Leia’s faith in her ability to protect herself as well as her ability to master the technique she had shared. Sighing with pleasure at the first moments of true peace she has felt since before the power inside her had Awakened, Rey sinks back into the embrace of the protective meditation.

~~

Supplies and personnel have already begun to trickle in thanks to their holovids when the first limping TIE Fighter is caught out on a routine patrol. Rey has been out practicing her mental protections when her senses twitch and she is pulled abruptly out of her meditation. She watches from the forest floor beneath the base’s landing pad as the TIE is escorted in. One of their brand-new T-85 X-Wings is flying on point to the TIE – it’s Poe; she knows it’s Poe in there, he’s the only one who flies like he’s part of the sky – and it follows close behind the slightly listing and smoking fighter as it comes in for a landing. 

She spots Finn running out to meet it, Rose close on his heels and the General, Connix, and C-3PO following at a more sedate pace. Rey can read the lines of tension in their bodies, even at this distance, and she sprints to the outer lift to take her up to the landing pad in case they need… Whatever it is that she can do.

The hatch to the enemy craft hisses open as Poe is already throwing himself down the ladder of his X-Wing. Rey grabs the lip of the pad and hoists herself up onto it before the lift has even properly reached the top. She hears a repressed chuckle and an offended squawk from the General and her golden protocol droid respectively as she dashes past them to stand by Finn and Rose. The wind up this high whips strands of hair out of her buns, and she brushes at it impatiently as she watches the hatch of the TIE warily.

“What is it?” she breathes.

“Defectors, apparently.” Finn sounds as nervous as she feels.

Poe comes jogging over next to Rey, training his blaster on the slowly opening hatch. The young Jedi notices that Poe is subtly using his body to shield her from possible attack. She doubts he even registers what he’s doing, but she pulls out her own blaster and is about to say something smart to him when everyone gathered hears: “Don’t shoot! Please! We’re here to see FN-2187!”

The silence stretches out like a taught bow. After a moment, Poe glances at Finn, who looks completely stunned. “Buddy?” he whispers out of the corner of his mouth, “You got anything to say to that?”

Rey’s focus is still mostly on the TIE Fighter before them, but she can still hear the ex-stormtrooper swallow audibly before he calls out, “It’s Finn, now, actually. FN-2187 is what they used to call me. But I have a name now.”

It’s so quiet on the landing pad now that for one wild moment, Rey fears she is about to receive another unwanted visit from the so-called Supreme Leader. However, the wind still whistles around her, so she takes a calming breath and focuses on remaining alert for trouble. In the silence, two figures begin to emerge slowly from the smoky cockpit. One of them already has her helmet off. She’s looking at Finn like she’s seen a ghost, and her caf-coloured skin is ashen. She’s shaking like a leaf, and from her pallor and the way she’s standing, Rey thinks the ‘trooper might be injured. “So, it’s true?” the woman breathes, “You used to be a Stormtrooper?”

“Yeah,” Finn says, and Rey can feel the excitement bubbling under his ribs.

The Stormtrooper exchanges a look with her companion, who has now removed their helmet, and the most cautious, beautiful expression of hope etches across her face like the dawn light touching the night sky as she whispers reverently, so quietly that Rey barely hears, “ _I want a name…_ ”

~~

The whole base is in a joyous, riotous upset for the rest of the day after the first two defectors arrive from the First Order. The two former ‘troopers are quickly ushered off for medical evaluation and debriefing, and Finn follows them to make sure they have a familiar face to look to any time they feel uncomfortable. The General can get as good of a read on their intentions with the Force as Rey can, so Rey’s left at somewhat loose ends as Finn leaves with the group. Poe follows them without so much as a glance back at her, and she feels the joy and excitement in her chest collapse just a little. Suddenly, a small hand slides into hers. “Want to go for a walk, get away from the chaos?” Rose offers.

Rey smiles, then, a full, genuine grin that she can feel in her cheek muscles. Rose might not be Force-sensitive, but she is perceptive, kind and generous. Rey inclines her head, and the two youthful Resistance fighters make their slow way down and around the outside of the base. They don’t really talk, but instead bask in the rare feeling that the tide might be starting to turn in their favour.

They end up atop the ridge Rey favours for her study and meditation. Rose is a bit winded when the reach the top, and, mindful of Rose’s recent injuries, Rey looks pointedly at the empty spot beside her as she settles down to sit on the largest boulder. The mechanic takes the non-verbal hint and sits next to her.

For a moment, Rose just rests quietly, kicking her feet like a child, head tilted back to watch the clouds chasing each other across the sky. Rey regards her, thinking about how unshakeable, how balanced this tiny, fierce woman is. She knows right from wrong, and her convictions are unyielding.

“You know, Finn got the idea for this whole ‘Stormtrooper Rebellion’ thing from you, Rose,” she offers.

Rose colours a deep pink, but otherwise doesn’t outwardly react. However, Rey can feel the joy radiating from every fibre of her being, so her casual affect is somewhat undermined. 

“Really?” Rose whispers, still looking up at the sky.

“Really,” Rey confirms, eyes crinkling with second-hand pleasure. “He told me what you said about the Resistance – that it’s about saving what you love.”

She feels a gentle tug at her mind, and follows it, willingly, already more used to trusting these instincts prompted by the Force. “What you said to Finn – that’s why I need your help.”

The unexpected statement prompts Rose to look at her in surprise. “You need _my_ help?” she repeats, disbelief colouring her voice.

Rey laughs a little, still surprised by how fundamentally unable Rose is to see her own value beyond starship maintenance. “I do. I’ve been studying the ancient Jedi texts, but frankly, I’ve hit a wall. I don’t – _I can’t_ – agree with their teachings. Luke told me that it’s time for the Jedi to die. I’m – I’m starting to believe him.”

Rose looks positively horrified at this pronouncement, and Rey has to mentally backtrack for a moment. Yeah, _oops._ It did sound just then like she wants to quit using the Force and give up the fight. “Alright, before you say anything, I definitely didn’t mean it the way you’re thinking.”

The mechanic slumps in relief, laughing shakily. “Man, I thought for a second that I was going to have to stun you and drag you back to the Resistance kicking and screaming like I did Finn. And, no offense, but you’re a _lot_ scarier than Finn.”

Rey laughs aloud at this statement, and Rose relaxes further. “No, I’m sorry I made it sound like I wanted to run. What I meant was – well, I’ve found some things, here, that I’ve been searching for my whole life. I have friends, and I’ve found my family: with you, and Finn, and P- everyone. The Jedi texts say that I can’t find the balance between the Light and the Dark without giving those things up and I don’t – I don’t think I can do that. Not when I’ve found what I’ve been waiting for after so long.”

She can feel the panic rising in her at the thought of experiencing such a profound loss yet again in her life – after her parents, and then Ben – but she pictures putting on her scavenger garb, and it helps calm her. “But I think – I know – that what I feel for my friends has helped me use the Force in the past. It’s what helped me defend Finn on Starkiller, and it definitely helped me lift those rocks on Crait. So, I think there has to be another way to find balance in the Force through the things I feel, not in spite of them. And I think you can help me understand – feelings, relationships, how you harness your passion every day for this fight – and help me write a New Jedi Code.”

Rose just about falls off the boulder in shock. “Kriff, Rey,” she manages, weakly, “I just thought we were coming up here to talk about your crush on Poe!”

This time, it’s Rey’s turn to almost fall off the rock in surprise. Rose bursts out laughing and immediately wraps the young Jedi in a tight hug. “Don’t worry!” she says, giving Rey an emphatic little squeeze, “Nobody knows, except maybe Leia. I bet you felt like that holo made it really obvious, but most folks just thought you were a fabulous actress.”

Rose pulls back to look at Rey, her gaze calculating. “I also bet Poe’s a big part of the reason you’re finding all of this ‘No Relationships’ Jedi stuff so hard to swallow, isn’t he?”

Rey scrunches her eyes closed and decides not to deny it. “Yes,” she whispers.

Rose rubs her back comfortingly, and Rey regards her miserably. “You’re right,” Rose says, quietly. “I do find strength in the people I love. They’re why I’m in this fight. Still, I find my balance by remembering and honouring the people I’ve lost. I can’t be righteous fury and passionate love all the time. Sometimes I have to let myself feel sad, feel loss, and I’m stronger for it. I honour those losses with my actions for the Resistance. It’s about preservation – of memories, feelings, people.”

Rey nods, swallowing against a sudden lump in her throat. 

“I think, maybe,” Rose continues, “That our friend Poe hasn’t figured out that second part yet. And… maybe you haven’t, either. You have to take in the bad with the good to find the space in the middle. Like this,” Rose leans down to scoop up a fallen leaf and holds it aloft, blocking the sun and casting a shadow over Rey’s face. “The leaf blocks the light, casts a shadow, but you can still see the light through it. Get it?”

Rey can’t tear her eyes away from the beautiful transparency of the leaf. She can see the delicate veins running through it, the mechanism that gives it life. “I think I’m beginning to,” she breathes. “I was told… that you have to let the past die – to kill it if you have to – in order to move forward. But, I think… What you’re saying feels like learning more than it feels like denial. You have to remember the pain and the mistakes of the past, the losses, or else you can’t learn from it, or value what you have now. The pain and sorrow balance the pleasures of family and friends.”

Rose lowers the leaf and gives Rey’s hand a little squeeze. “Exactly.”

They sit in stillness for a moment, absorbing the afternoon’s revelations. 

“Now, I just have to figure out how to condense that into a fancy-sounding meditative phrase as a part of the New Code,” Rey jokes, and Rose grins ruefully in response.

“I think I’ll leave that one to _you,_ Not-Jedi. I’ve helped enough for one day.”

With that, the mechanic pushes herself up off the rock and makes for the path back down to the base. Before Rey can make a move to follow, Rose looks back over her shoulder and calls, “Oh, and Rey? Don’t worry about Poe. I’m pretty sure that he’s only been avoiding you because he thinks the holo revealed _his_ feelings for _you._ ”

With a cheeky grin and an airy wave, Rose leaves Rey atop the ridge, speechless.


	12. Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I got this chapter out as fast as I was hoping! It's a bit short BUT THERE IS A TON PACKED IN THERE. Apologies if it needs further editing. I'll look at it again when I have a chance, but I wanted to get it posted for you all :)
> 
> No word of a lie - the first part of this chapter might be the fluffiest, most romantic thing I've ever written.
> 
> WARNINGS: after the ~~** in the text, there are some depictions of some dark thoughts, self-blaming thoughts, almost suicidal thoughts, from one of our characters. If you don't want to read that, skip the text till you get to the next ~~, and I'll post a summary in the end notes.
> 
> Also, canon-typical violence for this chapter and life-threatening peril for one of our heroes.

Over the next few weeks, everyone is suddenly busier than they’ve ever been as an astonishing number of new recruits, both from the galaxy at large and also from the First Order, begin arriving. It is so conspicuous that the General assigns a new team of scouts and analysts to find them a new location for a base. It seems certain they will be discovered by the First Order sooner rather than later, but the personnel and supplies they have received has all of them feeling like it might not be as devastating as the last time if they do.

Poe’s re-assigned to the scouting team, while anyone else who can fly a fighter remains behind to learn how to pilot their new fleet of TIEs, garishly repainted with the bright orange firebird of the Resistance. Because of his new assignment, Rey doesn’t see Poe very often. However, when he is around the base, the young Jedi sets out to do one of the bravest things she’s ever done. She deliberately seeks him out in an effort to spend time with just him. The first time she approaches the pilot, he looks at her warily. If Rose’s theory about him is correct, Rey suspects that he is worried that she might confront him about his feelings, or even reject him. Rey allows herself a small spark of hope, nonetheless, when she sees the way his face lights up as she invites him to eat lunch with her outside on the log she’s come to think of as Leia’s spot.

Every time he’s back to report on a scouting mission, Rey makes a point of seeking him out – for advice, to spar, to learn how to fly their new fighters – and every time he grins like he’s just earned himself fifty portions. They aren’t _dates,_ necessarily, Rey supposes, but they are choosing specifically to prioritize spending time with each other. Even though Rey is exhausted from all the training, working on the New Code, and taking part in strategic planning and de-programming the ex-stormtroopers, she makes the effort to be with Poe because it’s delightful.

One night, she sneaks into his quarters and wakes him up, dragging him outside by the hand, still dressed in his sleepwear, to see a meteor shower over the base. They stand out in the silky dark, watching the sky fall, and Rey laces her fingers through his and tells him about Rose’s ideas on balance. And then, haltingly, but dry-eyed, she tells him about her life on Jakku. 

Poe is a good listener. Aside from the occasional sharp inhalation or whispered curse, Poe doesn’t make a sound; he just lets Rey speak. When she is done, she feels hollowed out and washed smooth, like one of the stones at the base of Luke’s island on Ahch-To.

As she shivers in the chill wind, silent and wrung out, Poe slides an arm around her waist and tucks her into his side. She stands quietly, waiting for him to find his words, and wonders if he will ever tell her about his losses, or if he will ever begin the journey to finding balance. When he does speak, all he says is: “Rey, sweetheart, I wish like hell that your life had been different. But I will never regret that your life so far brought you here to me. To us.”

They hold hands as they walk back to the base, and Poe presses a kiss to her cheek as she leaves him at his door.

~~**

Not two days after she watched the meteor shower with Poe, Rey is startled out of her bunk by the sounds of screams and blaster fire. It takes her a moment of total disorientation before she realizes that the noises are in her head. For with the sounds come flashes of images – stormtroopers killing other stormtroopers. She barely pauses to throw on her clothes before she sprints to the command centre. When she arrives, she finds it already bustling with activity. “General!” Rey cries, “The defecting ‘troopers! They’re under attack!”

“I’m afraid you’re right, Rey. We received their distress call only minutes ago. Do you have any sense of how it’s going for them?”

Rey shakes her head in frustration. “I don’t think it’s going very well, General. If what I’ve seen is correct, then they’re grounded somewhere.”

The General looks sharply at Connix, whose hair is out of its buns for the first time since Rey had met her. “That confirms it,” Leia says. “Their distress call came from somewhere in the vicinity of Tagoria, which is where we left one of the holovid waypoints, but there was too much interference on the signal for us to tell if it was coming from orbit or the ground,” she adds, a way of filling Rey in.

Suddenly, the energy in the room ramps up a notch. “It’s a ground assault, everyone! Gather the troops. We need to be in the air in fifteen minutes. Rey – you mentioned yesterday that the _Falcon_ was temporarily grounded. Is that still true?”

“Yes,” Rey confirms, “I’m sorry, General. She can’t fly right now. Her stabilizers are misaligned, and I haven’t figured out how to correct it yet.”

Rey glances at Poe and tries not to think about the reason that the issue was neglected: she had spent her free afternoon sparring with the pilot, a pleasantly stimulating and distracting activity. “Fine,” Leia says, “That means you and Chewie go with Finn in the troop transport ship to pick them up. Everyone else: you know your assignments. Now, move!”

Rey moves, rushing to find Chewie, in case he can’t hear the klaxons that are now blaring inside the halls of the base. When she reaches the _Falcon,_ Chewie is already awake and retrieving his bowcaster, so Rey grabs her blaster and staff and follows him into the hangar. Finn is already awake and waiting by the troop transport, years of conditioning enabling him to be immediately alert. Standing with him are several of the newly cleared-for-duty ex-stormtroopers, including the very first one, whose new name is Fay, after her callsign, FY-3246.

Rey stands with them nervously, waiting for clearance to board and take off, a tension headache building at the base of her skull. _…might be worth it…_ Suddenly, she realizes that it isn’t a tension headache. It’s Poe. He’s broadcasting so loud that Rey’s surprised that he can’t be heard by every Force-sensitive person on this base. _…hope I don’t kark this one up, too… …no idea why Leia thinks I deserve Command again… …at least I’ll die for my friends…_

Without a word of warning, Ray dashes off to find him, ignoring Finn’s call and Chewie’s roar behind her. She dashes around fighters, skidding as she executes a risky turn to round the hull of an Interceptor, and then she sees Poe. He’s talking animatedly to BB-8, his slightly tense posture the only thing betraying the thoughts Rey can feel pouring out of him. She sprints the last few feet to him, stopping just short of throwing her arms around him. “Rey!” Poe cries, waving her off emphatically, “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be on the troop transport with Finn!”

“I know," she gasps, out of breath from her headlong dash across the hangar. “I’ll be there in time, I promise. It’s just – before you go – I had to say…” She cups his jaw with her hand, drawing her body in to brush against his. _“Come back,”_ she whispers, _fiercely._ Then, with a courage she didn’t know she had, she tilts her head up and brushes her lips across his, the barest and sweetest of kisses.

She turns away and runs before Poe can say anything.

~~

Their nearly-empty troop transport touches down into chaos. Rey, Finn, Chewie, and the ex-‘troopers pour out the hatch, immediately laying down cover fire for the people on the ground. Knowing they were on their way to the Resistance, the massive group of defecting ‘troopers had marred their armour with brown streaks of dirt, to distinguish themselves from the First Order ground troops. This was proving to have been both a blessing and a curse for them as it made them an easier target for the faithful troops, but it also made them easier to defend by Resistance fighters.

One stormtrooper with a Sargeant’s pauldron on his shoulder, helmet off and white chest-piece slashed with three streaks of dirt, bellows an explanation at Finn while he joins them in covering his fellow defectors. “We mutinied and overthrew the captain of our Star Destroyer! It’s been scuttled in orbit, so we had no way to escape! I almost didn’t believe you guys would come! I almost didn’t believe you were real!” he yells, staring unabashedly at Finn whenever he isn’t firing at their pristine, white-shelled foes. There are TIEs in the air, and several sonic booms announce the arrival of the rest of the Resistance X-Wings.

Rey struggles to keep her focus on the ground troops with Poe in the air, but she imagines the Force within her reduced to a pinprick of light and finds it a little easier to push her awareness of the pilot to the back of her mind. The First Order’s stormtroopers are being covered by AT-M6’s – huge, walking tanks with more cannons than are strictly necessary, and with none of the weaknesses of the old, Empire-era AT-AT’s. The Resistance troops concentrate their fire on the ground troops, trusting their fighters to provide what defense they can against the walkers from the air.

Dirt-smeared ‘troopers are pouring into the transport, and Rey can feel their simultaneous fear and relief pushing at her like a powerful wave. The X-Wings scream from the sky, some spinning off the engage with the TIEs, while others target the AT-M6’s. Rey fires off Chewie’s flank, keeping one eye out to see if the X-Wings find any weaknesses on those walkers. One rips across her vision and takes out two TIEs before heading for the nearest walker. It flies corkscrews around the slow-moving vehicle, continually firing in the hopes of exposing a weak point. Suddenly, as the fighter rounds the rear of the AT-M6, a sharp crack rends the air as fire begins to crawl up along its back. A rush of elation spreads through the Resistance soldiers, and that’s when Rey feels it.

She’s driven to her knees by the force of it – flashes of orange and black paint (so fresh she could still smell it) being eaten up by flames – and she’s screaming, screaming, and then, as suddenly as it began, it’s all over.

For one moment that might last for an eon, her ears ring as though she had been standing right next to a starship engine, and she takes a single deep, shuddering breath. She lurches up onto her feet, and with a slash of her hand, scatters enemy troops left and right, clearing a path for herself. For the second time that day, Rey races away, Finn calling after her desperately.

She knows where to go; it’s in her head, she can see it. As she crests the ridge behind most of the fighting, she sees it – laid out before her exactly as it appeared in her head. Coming up on the rear of the Resistance troops is a line of four more AT-M6’s. Above them, a chunk of exploding TIE spins off and clips the wing of Poe’s fighter, the black and orange paint standing in sharp relief against the blue sky as flames engulf the affected wing.

This is exactly as she saw it, but she doesn’t let the shock stop her as she sprints on, anticipating the path of Poe’s descent. The X-Wing wasn’t far off the ground when it was hit, and Rey watches it sliding in to land across the bare earth, grinding furrows deep into the soil. She’s horrified; she’s screaming inside but one part of her mind is still critically analyzing the wreck – _a fluke; no pilot could have anticipated that debris… came in at a low angle; probably won’t break up on impact… Poe should be protected somewhat; he’s wearing all of his safety gear…_

Rey skids to her knees at the side of the X-Wing’s hatch, now ground deep enough in the earth that the opening of the hatch is flush with the surface of the soil. It blows off its hinges with no more than a touch from Rey, the Force lashing out from her like a whip, easily and reflexively. Poe looks up at her blearily, blood covering one side of his face, one leg essentially mangled due to the way the hull has crushed in on the cockpit. “Rey? Sweetheart?” he grinds out, the words tasting like blood in her mind.

She struggles to push off a flood of vertigo and nausea at seeing Poe like this again. “Poe!” she cries, shaking off the weakness and reaching for the harness across his body. “Let’s get you out of this, huh? Okay? Poe – it’s going to be okay, yeah?”

Poe is shaking his head, sluggishly, as she tugs fruitlessly at the straps. “Poe – Poe, please! We’ve got to get you out of here! Where’s your vibro-blade? Poe, I have to cut the straps!”

He’s muttering at her, but Rey is ignoring him, patting down his pockets, when a sense of danger pierces hot through her skull and she throws up a hand, blocking a massive cannon blast from the walkers. 

“Rey!” Poe’s cry finally cuts through the fog and she looks down at him, the cannon fire hanging suspended in the air before them. “You have to go! It isn’t safe! Leave me and get out!”

More energy blasts are hitting the shield Rey has instinctually thrown up around them. She can feel it, beating on her mind, chipping away at her defenses.

“I told you! You _have_ to come back!” she gasps out at him, sweat beginning to drip into her eyes. Poe’s eyes are unfocused, and his words are becoming slurred. “Stop, Rey. You’re more important… than me…”

Poe’s head begins to dip to his chest, and Rey’s senses are so heightened the she can feel the pilot’s consciousness slipping away. “No! Poe! You have to come back!” she gasps, and then it hits her. A crack has appeared in her shielding. But she’s looking down and Poe’s gazing up at her, a faint smile on his face, and that's when that tiny pinprick of light that she’s been maintaining in her mind’s eye _consumes her._ It is as though Rey cracks open and power _bleeds_ through her skin, then erupts outwards. A massive, soundless shockwave bursts from her and cuts a swath across the barren ground toward the walkers.

As it hits the first walker, the Force dramatically crumples the hull of the cockpit with a resounding _crunch_ then a _wump, wump, WUMP_ of explosions down its back. The shockwave continues, throwing the first walker completely off balance to go careening into the next. It’s like a chain-reaction – each AT-M6 teeters into its neighbour, sending the whole lot crashing to the ground. Rey hears a cheer erupt somewhere behind her as the walkers go up in smoke, but it’s dim and distant, like an improperly tuned comm signal. 

She’s gazing down at Poe, his face cradled between her hands, something red dripping from her face and into her lap. She’s trying unsuccessfully to figure out if he’s looking back up at her when the world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance gets a distress call from some defecting 'troopers. As the ships are getting ready to deploy and support the defectors, Rey overhears some doom-laden thoughts coming from Poe. He fears he will get some of his compatriots killed again. We are meant to assume Rey convinces him he's worth it when she orders him to "Come Back," and gives Poe a kiss.


	13. Pressure and Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Sorry for the big update gap again. I hope this chapter manages to make up for it.
> 
> SPOILER Warnings for this chapter:  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Things get a little hot an heavy, but stop short of any clothing coming off, so there will be a chapter summary at the end if that's not your cup of tea.

Rey isn’t hiding. She isn’t. She’s just… Doing necessary repairs on the Falcon. Alone. Without anyone else. Because she’s avoiding everyone. 

Really, if anyone puts any effort into looking for her, she won’t be hard to find. The _Falcon_ is one of about four spaces around the base she occupies with any regularity. Plus, as far as she knows, BB-8 is still remotely monitoring her vital signs and could easily locate her in a manner of seconds if asked. So, no. Rey isn’t hiding. Technically.

But she really, really hopes that no one comes looking for her. She absolutely does not want to talk to anyone right now. Word of her deeds on Tagoria had spread like wildfire, and after Rey had left Medical with nothing more than a headache and a diagnosis of exhaustion, she’d been immediately bombarded with admirers. Even now, days later, she spends most of her time dodging well-wishers and those who are curious to confirm whether or not the rumours are true. People in the corridors of the base have even taken to reaching out and touching her, like she could bestow some kind of a blessing upon them or something. It’s decidedly unnerving.

That’s part of the reason why she’s here, working on the _Falcon._ The other part is that Finn told her that Poe is being discharged from Medical today. And she’s _definitely_ hiding from him. While Rey has gotten off nearly scot-free, a nosebleed the only apparent physical symptom of her feat of the Force, Poe has much more severe injuries. He’s spent the last several days in the Medical wing getting his scalp, leg, and ribs repaired to a point where he can return to work on a reduced duty roster. Rey has not been to visit him once in the entire time he has been in recovery.

She’s – well, if she’s being honest with herself, she’s terrified of how he’ll react when he sees her. She keeps flashing back to the look she’d seen in his eyes on the day that they filmed the holo. He’d been afraid of her, then. She can’t imagine how she must have terrified him with her display of power on Tagoria. As much as it pains her to admit it, Poe might just be safer, both mentally and physically, if he just stays the hell away from her.

These thoughts are turning over in the young Jedi’s head as she tinkers with the _Falcon._ She’s standing atop a rickety old wooden crate, leftover from the days of the Empire, head and shoulders stuck up inside the undercarriage of one of the old freighter’s forward mandibles. She’s stretching onto her toes, trying to access some circuitry that is just out of reach, the crate wobbling dangerously, when she hears: “Come here often?”

Rey nearly jumps out of her skin, and the crate gives a particularly emphatic and heart-stopping _wobble_ before she feels a pair of hands settle firmly on her waist to steady her. Carefully, she ducks down out of the hull casing to look at the owner of the hands. 

Of course, it’s Poe.

For an instant that feels like an hour, all Rey can do is look at Poe. He looks… Good. Still a little banged-up – bacta can’t do all the work – but otherwise rested and relaxed. His appearance throws her off so much that she allows Poe to gently tug her down off the rickety crate as he says, “Now that doesn’t seem very safe. We can’t have a Jedi who broke her arm by falling off a box, now can we?”

“You scared the hell out of me,” she manages weakly as he pulls her closer to his body.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, as his arms snake around her back. Her hands land on his chest, ready to push him away or pull him closer, Rey isn’t sure which, yet.

Heat is rolling off his body towards her in waves, and she is completely unable to contain the flurry of _want_ that settles over her body in being this close to Poe. The pilot lifts one hand from her back to cup her cheek, and she sucks in the tiniest gasp of air. Poe’s gaze is leveled on her and she feels completely trapped by his look and her own desire. It’s not an unpleasant feeling. She isn’t sure what Poe is going to do, but she’s still surprised when he asks, earnestly, “Are you alright?”

Quite frankly, the question startles an honest answer out of her, even if she suspects it’s not exactly the answer Poe is looking for. “I’m okay. I was let out after a day because I was just exhausted. Well, that and a nosebleed. Apparently, I used so much power that I burst some blood vessels in my nose…”

Rey realizes too late that she’s strayed a little too close to the exact thing she wanted to avoid talking about with Poe – her Force powers. Far from looking nervous, however, Poe surprisingly just looks relieved at her answer. “Good. I was worried something was wrong when you didn’t come to visit me in Medical.”

Rey winces, and the moment is uncomfortable enough for Rey to be able to break away from Poe’s magnetic pull. She pushes out of his arms and turns away to gather up her tools as she responds, “Yeah… I had a lot of work to do on the _Falcon,_ and the General needed me for all these debriefs - ” 

She’s already a good ten feet away from Poe when he cuts off her half-hearted explanation, his voice quiet and rough. “Oh no, sweetheart. _Please_ don’t do this to me. Don’t try to tell me I imagined that kiss.”

Rey stops in her tracks, and tries to pull in a breath, but doesn’t really succeed. “You didn’t. Imagine it. I mean… But, I was scared. That you’d be afraid of me. Because you saw how much I’m like… Him.”

She collapses down to sit on the open ramp of the ancient ship, like a droid that’s been deactivated. Poe is beside her instantly. She can literally _feel_ how much he wants to touch her, to wrap her up in his arms and protect her from the entire galaxy, but he holds himself back. For right now, she’s grateful for it. She _wants_ him to touch her, but she’s not sure what she would do right now if he did. 

“Okay," Poe says, definitively, “First off, you are nothing like Kylo Ren, you understand me? You may have experienced some similar tragedies in your lives, but anyone with a brain can see that your choices make you as different as night and day. Secondly, _you saved my life._ I’m not – I _refuse_ to be afraid of you.”

Rey looks at him, her vision hazy around the edges with unshed tears. “Maybe you should be. Luke was. If Luke Skywalker had the good sense to fear me, maybe you should, too.”

“ _Never,_ Rey.” Poe’s vehemence is so astonishing that it shuts her right up.

Could he really have that much faith in her?

Poe settles in more comfortably next to her, a quiet groan the only indication of any discomfort from his still-healing injuries. Nevertheless, Rey catches it. They sit in silence for a moment, and she can tell he’s building up to talking about the kiss again, and she’s desperate not to acknowledge it. It’s absolutely one of the last things she wants to talk about right now, so instead, she says, “Tell me about Yavin IV. It’s your homeworld, right?”

Turns out this misdirection tactic works on both Dark Lords and flyboys.

“Yavin? What do you want to know about… Hang on, who told you that it was my homeworld?”

Rey is, truthfully, too overwhelmed to think up a suitable lie, so she tells him the truth, or most of it, anyway. “You did. I had a dream where you and I – were visiting the old Massassi Temples on Yavin.”

Poe’s eyes momentarily twinkle with mischief, and he looks at her askance as he says, “You had a dream about me?”

The look Rey gives him in response is quelling enough that he clears his throat, and she hopes her glower covers up the blush she can feel flaring in her cheeks as she thinks of the _rest_ of the content of that dream. “What else did I say?” he asks.

Rey grimaces a little, regretful that she turned the conversation in this direction so quickly. It’s where they would have ended up eventually, but they’ve gotten here sooner than she wanted. Hey, surprise, she doesn’t want to have this conversation any more than she wants to talk about the kiss. She sighs, and reluctantly reveals, “You mentioned a tree, and a crystal,” Poe looks very surprised at this, “And I’ve spoken to the General and she and I agree that it was a vision… I. I have to go to Yavin IV to visit the Force Tree that Luke gave to your mother. Because that’s where I’m going to find a crystal for my new lightsaber.”

“ _Kriff,_ ” Poe draws out the word. “That sounds just mystical enough that it might be right,” he chuckles.

Rey smiles faintly, but forges ahead, ready to get it over with. “The General and I have come up with a plan. The Resistance was able to salvage the Star Destroyer that was scuttled over Tagoria. We’re going to use it to target stormtrooper training facilities in three sectors. We’re going to rescue the children, Poe. Get in, get out. Smash and grab.”

In his excitement, Poe can’t help himself, and he grabs her clenched hands between his own. “That’s fantastic!” he exclaims, but Rey just sits there and waits for the other shoe to drop. She can see it on his face when it hits him, and he lets go of her hands and pulls away. “What aren’t you telling me? What does this plan have to do with you going to Yavin?”

Rey swallows. “It’s a distraction. _I’m_ the distraction. We need the Supreme Leader’s attention off the Resistance while they execute the plan to rescue the children. I’m going to open the Bond and lure him to Yavin. Let him come to me.”

Poe’s already shaking his head. “No. No. Absolutely not. It’s too dangerous! How could Leia? How _could_ she? Letting you lead the kriffing First Order to my _back yard?_ What about my father? What about you? _He’ll kill you!_ ”

Rey rises to her feet again, looking toward the setting of Kashyyyk on the horizon. “Your father and his neighbours have already been evacuated, and the rest of the moon has been given the order, too. He’s on his way here now." She hesitates, briefly, before she tells him, "And Ben won’t kill me. Killing me is the last thing he wants to do. He thinks he’s in love with me.”

The noise of shock and disgust Poe utters makes her blood run a little cold. In another life, she could have been trying to explain to this man why she brought Snoke’s apprentice back to the Resistance. When he finally does manage to speak, Poe’s voice is shaking with anxiety and disgust. “Hells, Rey. That’s even _more_ reason not to go! He could capture you – he could… I can’t let you go. I’m glad my dad’s safe, but there _has_ to be another way.”

She turns back to him, her heart in her throat. “It’s already decided,” she whispers, her voice small and tight with regret. “The repairs on the _Falcon_ are done. I was finishing up when you arrived. I leave in an hour.”

“ _What?_ ” Poe struggles to rise from his seated position, and it pains her to see how much his injured leg is still affecting him. “Rey, _stars_ , please, you can’t do this! Please! I can’t lose you. Not now. Not when… Please. _At least don’t go without me._ ”

Rey’s shaking her head and the tears are starting to course down her cheeks, but Poe’s finally up and he’s crowding into her space. She wants to back away, but it hurts. “Look at you!” she sobs in desperation, “You can barely stand up and you want to come with me?” 

She places a hand square on the centre of his chest, but she’s not pushing him away, not really, not at all, and soon, she’s enclosed in the circle of his arms. He leans his forehead against hers and breathes, “Please, Rey. I can’t lose you. You – you saved my life. Not just on Tagoria. You save me from myself every day. Don’t leave me. Please.”

It isn’t even really a choice, when their lips come together. It’s as necessary as breathing. All her body _needs_ is the slow, hot slide of Poe’s parted lips across her own. She gasps into the kiss, her body surging against his as his tongue flicks out between her lips. The sensation draws a shockingly _hungry_ noise from her chest. This seems to trigger something in Poe, because he moans _filthily_ and then moves, walking her backwards until her shoulders hit the outside wall of the base. “Poe…” she pants, as he crowds closer to her and slides his tongue up the column of her neck to nip her softly below her ear. When Poe’s lips meet hers again in a furious kiss, his tongue plunging into her mouth to taste her, it is as though she has swallowed some kind of liquid _heat._ It pours down her throat and pools deep, deep in her pelvis. The heat makes her roll her hips against his, and Poe breaks the kiss with a deep groan that reverberates in her chest.

“I tried for so long,” Poe growls, sucking a bruise onto her collarbone, “Not to _want_ you. But it’s useless. You’re like the sun, and I’m caught in your gravity.”

A high little whine escapes Rey’s throat, and she yanks up the hem of his shirt, eager to feel his skin hot beneath her hands. Poe slides his leg between her thighs, and she immediately grinds down, her body seeking relief from the pressure boiling up like magma beneath her skin. Rey slips one hand beneath his shirt across his lower stomach, and the other brings his lips back up to hers as he shudders against her.

Rey walks her fingers from his stomach to his hip, pulling him against her even harder, as though if she just exerted enough pressure, she might be able to sink into his skin. Her show of strength seems to drive Poe wild, and before she knows it, he’s lifted her up, her legs wrapping around him instinctively. He insinuates his body against her in a slow roll, starting with is hips. She can feel the hot, hard length of him pressed against her through the thin fabric of his civilian trousers, and she drops her head back against the duracrete wall with a breathy moan. Poe’s hips thrust hard against her in response, and that same needy noise falls from her lips again. One of Poe’s hands wanders up from underneath her thigh to brush across her breast, and the pleasure is so acute – almost to the point of pain – that she has to bite her lip to keep from crying out.

She laces her fingers deep into Poe’s hair and then _grips,_ pulling his head back so she can look at him. His eyes are dark and half-closed with lust, and his lips are red and plump from where she’s been biting at them. She doubts that she looks any more presentable, but at this moment, she can’t bring herself to care. She curls slowly into the pilot, then kisses him sweetly, gently, tasting him just a little. Poe moans quietly into the kiss. It somehow feels more passionate, more intimate than all of their previous kisses combined, and she sighs contentedly, her body undulating gently against him.

This feeling. This is better than anything she’s ever felt. How could the Jedi think that this feeling was wrong? A sudden memory of the images (fantasies) Ben projected at her flashes through her mind, and she pulls away from Poe in shock. He’s panting, and looking at her warily, like he’s worried he’s done something wrong. She strokes his face softly to try and reassure him. “I’m okay. It’s okay. I wanted this. I want you… But - I still have to go.”

Poe presses her back against the wall, this time very gently, burying his face in her neck. He breathes in deeply for a few moments while she strokes his hair. “The Resistance needs you here, Poe. It needs to save those children. I can provide us with the best chance to make that happen. Plus, what kind of ‘Beacon for the Resistance’ would I be if I didn’t have a lightsaber?”

Her terrible joke prompts Poe to huff a laugh against her skin, then he draws back with a brave grin. He slowly sets her down on her feet, then cups her face with one hand. “ _Come back,_ ” he says, vehemently, echoing her words to him before Tagoria.

She smiles fiercely at him, then tugs him in for one more kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary:  
> Rey has recovered from the onslaught at Tagoria and is working on preparing the Falcon while also avoiding all of her admirers and Poe. Poe is discharged from medical and confronts Rey about the fact that she didn't visit him at all while he was recovering. She reveals she was worried that he would be afraid of her Force powers. He is not, but Rey is still sad because while he was recovering it was decided that she would lure Kylo Ren to Yavin IV as a distraction (and also because she believes she'll find a crystal for a new lightsaber there) while the Resistance tries to save children from three of the stormtrooper training facilities.
> 
> Poe tries to stop her from going, but she insists, and then they end up making out.


	14. Pulse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Folx, I'm really proud of this chapter. 
> 
> (It's 4,300 words. I've only edited it once because I was so excited to post it. I will polish it more as I re-read.)
> 
> I hope you like it.
> 
> *scurries away*  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> SPOILERS Warnings for this Chapter: Kylo really roughs Rey up, you guys.

Landing on Takonada had felt like a dream, Rey remembers; she had been unable to keep herself from breathlessly saying, “I didn’t know there was _this much green_ in the whole galaxy…”

Suffice it to say, Takonada has nothing on Yavin IV. The young Jedi is completely incapable of containing her gasp as she and Chewie break atmo above Yavin IV in the _Falcon._ The small moon that Poe grew up on is literally breathtaking. It’s an endless jungle below her, dominated by massive, elegant trees, which are broken up here and there by tranquil lakes and small settlements. It looks just like it did in Rey’s vision, and it makes everything feel more real, sharper. 

Chewie directs Rey to land about a kilometer away from the coordinates they’ve been given to Kes Dameron’s house. Rey leaves the Wookie to power down the systems on the old freighter and goes to lower the ramp. The first thing she notices is the quality of the air. It is hot and thick with moisture, almost like walking into a wall of steam. 

Secondly, she notices the noise. The jungle is _loud._

The third thing she notes is the scent. It’s dark and deep and loamy with a fresh spike of rain and oxygen. As the young Jedi scents the air, she experiences a moment of vertigo-inducing deja-vu. The air smells _exactly_ like Poe. She smiles to herself as her toes curl inside her boots at the sense memory of her thoroughly enjoyable goodbye with Poe just a few hours previously.

She takes a few steps down the ramp and stands with one foot hovering over the leaf-strewn jungle floor. The second she steps foot on the surface of Yavin IV, Rey _feels_ it. It is like a deep, pulsing vibration that thrums up from the soil beneath her and through her body. It is the tree’s _heartbeat,_ undulating under her skin and through her veins, running parallel to the rhythm of her heart and the vibration of her soul. 

For one moment that seems endless, Rey can feel herself in the roots of the tree, reaching out across untold distances and the tangled networks of the jungle above to feel the balance and cycle of life on this moon. She feels as if she just concentrated a little bit, she could pick out individual life forms hundreds of kilometers away. The next second, she’s back in her own body, hands on her knees as she gasps for air. She can still feel the awareness of the tree, pulsing faintly at the back of her brain, but she is conscious again. Straightening up, she gazes in wonder at the direction she knows the Force Tree to be in.

Chewie howls from inside the _Falcon_ and breaks Rey from her reverie. Reluctantly, she tears her eyes away from the wall of green in front of her and heads back inside to grab her staff and her blaster. She spends some time before she sets out helping the Wookie to camouflage the old ship and trying to figure out what she’s going to say to Ben Solo. She and Chewie manage to hide the old ship quite well... As for the other thing – well, Rey will just have to make it up as she goes. When the _Falcon_ is deemed well-enough disguised, Chewie offers to come and back her up, growling about ‘the bad ideas of an upstart cub.’

“No, Chewie, but thank you,” she replies, warmly. “I think we’ll need to make a quick getaway. I’ll need you to stay here and keep the Falcon primed for takeoff.”

The Wookie reluctantly agrees, and the last thing Rey does before she sets off into the trees is to turn on her signal dampener, an ingenious device cooked up by Rose. It emits a soft electromagnetic signal that disguises any communications or electrical signals coming from the Falcon, should the First Order decide to scan for anything of the sort. Finally, with a somewhat gloomy little wave, she turns and walks into the shade of the gigantic trees.

Rey doesn’t even need to monitor the map on her wrist navigator cuff to know where to go. She simply follows the warm tug of the tree beneath her sternum. As she walks at a confident pace in the direction of the tree, Rey can’t help but gape at the natural beauty that surrounds her. The trunks of the great trees are obscured by dozens of creeping ferns and vines. Some trees, obviously a different species, are covered with deep red-and-yellow flowers that are currently being devoured with relish by troops of furry, four-legged animals that look extremely comfortable high in the canopies. Rey tracks their exuberant movement through the foliage as she drags her hands along the bark of the trees, trying not to think too hard about what she is about to do.

It isn’t long before she can see flashes of clear light through the gaps in the trees ahead. Rey quickens her pace and soon almost bursts into a sunlit clearing. In the near distance, she can see a cluster of low-slung buildings surrounded by tilled gardens and the outlying, neat rows of an orchard beyond. Slightly to her left, surrounded by waving grasses and delicate blue flowers, is the tree.

Unlike the native trees of Yavin IV, which stand tall and straight, the Force Tree is gnarled like Maz’s hands, and its canopy spreads out across the clearing. This close, the pulsing in the back of her head has condensed into an undulating tone that sounds almost like music. For the second time since landing, Rey is struck with a dizzying sense of deja-vu: this tree whispers songs just like the one on Luke’s Island – but this one is _alive_ with the music. Barely breathing as she softly approaches the tree, the young Jedi extends her hand out to touch the rough bark. The moment the tips of her fingers make contact, she gasps. A rush of warmth reaches out to her from the tree, a feeling her brain interprets as something like a “hello.” Rey smiles and sends back a silent greeting, feeling a tingling surge of recognition from the tree in response.

She closes her eyes and lets her consciousness sink into the ebb and flow of the tree. A glowing line stretches out before her, and she follows it down into the rich red earth, and – _ah_ – there it is. Tangled deep in the roots of the tree: a living, glowing kyber crystal. Rey lifts her hand off the tree with a grin and leaving the crystal for now, she settles down in the depression between two roots. Smiling wider, out of the corner of her eye she sees a flash of what could only be Poe Dameron as a tiny child, (and she knows, instinctively, that he took good care of this tree).

As she sits, she slowly begins to build up her mental defences, knowing that they will help her feel ironclad against attack. Then, taking a deep, shaking breath, she deliberately allows her fears, her anxieties and her personal doubts to rise up to the surface until she’s overwhelmed by them. She knows Kylo isn’t likely to be convinced of her sincerity unless she acts truly upset. Immersing herself grimly into the feeling, she reaches deep inside herself and into her newly certain, grounded core. Suddenly, she knows exactly how to open the Bond.

The unceasing sound of the jungle instantly becomes muffled, and she gives in to the feeling that she's conjured, curling in on herself in distress just before she hears a sharp intake of breath, echoing at her from across vast distances. “Rey – what’s wrong?”

Rey manages to look up at Kylo looming over her, his black robes blotting out the light. “Ben,” she lets the name come out of her like a quiet sob.

In an instant, he’s crouched before her, his hands hovering over her shoulders. 

“Ben, I’m so lost,” she says, scrubbing at the tears on her face. “I don’t know what I’m doing, and the Jedi texts say so many things I don’t agree with, and…”

Kylo cuts her off – not maliciously – just curiously. “Jedi Texts?” 

She nods her head, miserably. “I took them from the place where Luke was living… I – I’ve been studying them.”

Surprisingly, Kylo chuckles (somewhat fondly, if she had to guess at his tone). “Little thief,” he says, his generous mouth quirking up in the corner.

Rey is instantly defiant. “I'm a Scavenger!” she corrects him, fiercely, jabbing a finger into his chest. He just chuckles some more, so she shoves him away and scrambles to her feet, spinning away from him and the tree. “Stop that! I hate this. I hate that I have nowhere else to go when I need help!”

This statement shuts Kylo up in a hurry. “You want my help?” he asks, quietly, still crouched and not really looking back at her. 

She sighs deeply, letting the air out in a long exhale. “I want to talk,” she insists, quietly. “In person. If I tell you where I am, I want you to guarantee that you’ll take me alive, and you won’t allow me to be tortured further.” Her voice wavers a bit on the last demand, but she stands her ground.

Kylo’s head jerks up and he targets her with his gaze. “You would give yourself up to me?” His voices rings with bloody, dangerous hope.

Rey forces herself to smirk at him. “I never said I’d actually _let_ you take me in.”

Kylo huffs out something that is _trying_ to be a laugh and stands. “You have me intrigued, Scavenger. I’ll agree to your terms. Now – tell me where you are,” he orders, his deep baritone reverberating across the Bond.

Rey allows her voice to catch, just a bit, before she whispers, “Yavin IV.”

In a blink, Kylo is gone, and the sound of the jungle roars back. The young Jedi exhales shakily, hating herself a little bit. She knows she has to lure Kylo here through honest means or not, but that doesn’t mean she has to feel good about it. 

Sighing, she sits back down and digs a ration bar out of her pack. Rey tears at the hard protein with her teeth, ignoring the chalky taste. As she chews determinedly, she looks down at herself and plucks dejectedly at her clothing – the outfit was Leia’s idea. It’s similar to her usual clothing in shape and design, but it is all in shades of grey and black. She remembers how the General had grimly joked about her son being attracted to the dark colours like insects are drawn to bright lights. Leia had argued that the subtle disguise would subconsciously endear her to Kylo, so Rey had reluctantly agreed to the change.

Releasing her breath once more in exasperation, Rey settles in to wait for Kylo, slipping back into her meditation. Her last thought before she becomes lost in the layers of her defenses is _Maybe the black clothing will play a part in bringing Ben back to the Light._

~~

Rey is so deeply immersed in the tide of the Force that she knows the moment Kylo Ren’s fleet breaks upper atmo. It feels like the beginnings of a pressure headache, and her stomach roils in response. As quickly as she can, she pulls herself out from the meditation Leia showed her, reaching out to brush the ground fondly, an answering flare from her kyber crystal tingling at her fingertips. She stands, and though she knows it is little defense against the weapons that her enemies will wield, Rey clutches tightly at her staff. Scanning the sky, she can see that quite some time has passed, based on the position of Yavin Prime over the horizon.

A deep sense of _wrongness_ pulses toward her through the ground, and she knows that Kylo has touched down on the surface of the moon. Sure enough, he soon appears through the jungle on the edge of her vision, striding ahead of a squadron of stormtroopers. Rey resists the urge to visibly roll her eyes when she notices the way he walks deliberately to encourage his cloak to billow out behind him. He comes to a halt about six meters away, his gaze disconcertingly hungry as it travels over her body, taking in the dark clothing.

“Tell your troops to leave us alone to talk, or this conversation is already over,” she calls. It’s not a request.

A tiny quirk of Kylo’s lip is his only reaction, before he says quietly, definitively: “Go.”

The trooper bearing a coloured command pauldron on her shoulder steps forward and starts to say, “But, sir…”

“Go!” Kylo snarls, hunching into an extremely threating posture.

The troopers melt back into the trees, though Rey has no doubt that they will still be monitored remotely. She watches Kylo warily, and when he relaxes his posture somewhat, she gingerly sets aside her staff, leaning it against a low-sweeping limb of the Force Tree. For several long, deliberately calm breaths, Rey and the Supreme Leader simply regard each other, searching for deception.

Kylo apparently sees what he wants to, because he strides forward and unexpectedly pulls her into his arms. Rey stiffens against him, shocked. He’s curled his entire, massive bulk around her body, and he’s shaking against her. Sending a quick apology to Poe, and hating herself even more, Rey hesitantly wraps her arms around him in return. When her palms land lightly on his back, the sound he makes is so _wounded_ that Rey can’t bite back a sympathetic noise in response. He clutches at her tighter, and she clears her throat, saying, “This doesn’t seem very smart, Your Supremeness. What if I only lured you here to kill you?”

The laugh that rumbles through his chest practically rattles her teeth in her skull. She supposes that if she can still make him laugh, then at least she might have a chance to turn him. He still has a chance. For one weak moment, she allows herself to think that he _smells good_ – spicy and musky – before she realizes it is _so wrong_ that she thinks he smells good. Thankfully, at that moment, he lets her go and takes a step back, his expression under control, but still looking more pleased than she’s ever seen him. Which isn’t really saying much.

“You need a teacher,” he murmurs, gaze intense; voice steady and deep.

Rey tilts her head noncommittally in response. “I’ve been having visions of the tree,” she admits. “I knew if I wanted answers, I should come here.”

She slumps back against the tree, suddenly exhausted. “I’m tired, Ben. I don’t want to fight you anymore.” Kylo opens his mouth to respond, but Rey holds her hand up for him to allow her to continue. Miraculously, it works. 

“That doesn’t mean I want to join you. I have enough, now, I think. I’m strong enough to fight you, and win.” There is a quiet certainty to Rey’s voice that amazes even her. “But I don’t want to have to fight, Ben… It’s still true. You still have a choice.”

Kylo’s face is already livid. “It was never a choice!” he growls, “I’ve had _his_ voice in my head from the day I turned eight. I am the grandson of the greatest Sith Lord who ever lived! I’m meant for this, just as my grandfather was. This is my destiny.”

“No, Ben” Rey denies, sadly. “My parents sold me like chattel and abandoned me on a hell-hole planet to live a life of abuse and starvation. And yet, I chose the Light. You and I are the same in many ways, Ben, but it's our choices that make us different,” she asserts, remembering Poe’s words.

The young man clenches his jaw, shaking his head at her vehemently once, twice. “No. It’s inevitable. You need me. You’ll become what you were meant to be. You _will_ rule at my side.”

Rey nods, once, with grim finality, accepting that he’s truly unable to see. “I’m sorry... Kylo. If there’s anything I've learned from my studies of the Jedi, it's that there is no true predestination. We can follow the most likely path; we have intuition about how things might turn out. But our choices can always change that. Otherwise, you would have turned aboard the _Finalizer._ Or I would have.”

“No,” Kylo denies again, “I don’t believe that. You and I are meant to burn the galaxy down and rebuild it from the ashes! You wouldn’t have come here: _you wouldn’t have brought me here_ if you didn’t need me.”

He’s crowding back into her again, and Rey can’t take it any more – quick as lightning, she throws up a Force Shield between them that has Kylo flying back several feet. He lands on his feet, graceful despite his size, and a suspicious certainty is beginning to cloud his features when a new group of stormtroopers emerges hurriedly from the trees. “Sir!” the lead one calls, “The nearby buildings have been searched; they’ve all be recently abandoned!”

Kylo’s voice is low and dangerous as he asks, “How recently?”

“No more than a standard cycle or two, sir.”

The Supreme Leader whips around without warning, catching Rey across her cheekbone with a backhand so vicious that she collapses to her knees, her vision darkening at the edges. He stands over her, looking triumphant. “Did you really think you could convince me to come here, and I wouldn’t suspect a trap? This whole planet has been evacuated, hasn’t it? And where are all your friends – the rebel scum – hiding?”

Rey doesn’t hide her contempt as she sneers up at him and spits out a hefty glob of blood at his feet. “I truly believed you had a chance at the Light, Kylo. Don’t worry – there’s no one here but me. This isn’t a trap. It’s a distraction.”

In a blink, she seizes her staff and lashes out, sending his lightsaber flying out of its holster. She launches forward, actually managing to land two or three good blows to his upper body before Kylo can get his hands up to start fending her off. Rey sweeps her staff through the air in a downward arc, aiming for his head, but he thrusts a solid forearm up to block the hit. At the same time, his left fist lashes out and makes glancing contact with her ribs. Wincing, Rey dances backwards, allowing the reach of her staff to be an advantage against her larger opponent. She flicks her weapon out again and again, trying to attack so fiercely that he doesn’t have a chance to get his hands on his saber. He’s backing away from her, his arms raised defensively, as Rey jabs out viciously, making contact with his head, ribs, and his knee hard enough that he almost goes down. 

Meanwhile, the ‘troopers are circling them nervously, blasters raised but too uneasy to take a shot, lest they hit the Supreme Leader. One of them shouts something, and Rey is distracted for one moment too long. Kylo gets under her guard. A blast of Dark energy from him wrenches her staff up and almost out of her grasp. Suddenly, his lightsaber is in his hand, bright crimson and crackling angrily. With a roar, he slashes the saber down toward her. Even though she knows it’s useless, she thrusts her staff up across her body in defense, leaning back as far as she can. 

The beam of Kylo’s saber slices right through the centre of her staff, shearing it in two and just missing her face.

She stumbles back, retreating, one end of the cut staff in each hand. The young Jedi is truly on the defensive now, wrenching her body around to try and avoid his strikes. Rey risks a glance behind her and sees that he his herding her toward the tree, trying to get her back up against something solid so that he can either kill her or force her to yield. She looks around desperately for escape, as Kylo’s wild slashes rip apart the delicate blue flowers amongst the grass. Dropping one half of her staff, she thrusts her hand upward just in time, catching his wrist on a downward swing. Desperately, she blocks his other hand, knowing that no matter how much the Force is with her, sooner or later his superior strength and size will overcome her.

She doesn’t hear the crack of the blaster fire, but Rey feels it burn across her ribs, white-hot and thorny. At the exact same moment, Kylo manages to wrench his other hand free and strike her across the jaw.

Rey is driven to her knees again with pain and shock. Dizzily, she looks down at where her hands are clutching at her side, slowly being stained red with blood. She looks up at Kylo again – “Ben..” she whimpers. For one second, staring at her, Kylo’s face goes completely, horrifyingly blank. He thrusts out a hand toward the ‘trooper who shot, and Rey’s stomach threatens to give up its meager ration bar meal as the soldier’s helmet crumples inwards with a disturbing _crunch._ The ‘trooper drops like a sack of machine parts.

The young Jedi’s scream of horror is aborted by Kylo’s hand around her throat. He lifts her off the ground and slams her against the tree, squeezing just hard enough to make the air whistle down her windpipe. “Now, little Scavenger,” he sneers, thrusting his face in towards hers, “You know you have no choice. You _will_ rule by my side and fulfill your destiny. I will do _anything_ to make sure it happens.”

Rey closes her eyes, trying to think, trying to hold onto her control, not to let him in. She can feel him battering up against her defenses, the heat of it almost unbearable. Then, a deep wave of cool calm rushes from the tree at her back, and she suddenly has it. “Ben!” she rasps, and he loosens up incrementally, not yet so far gone that he’ll risk killing her.

“You… Still have time – make a _choice._ Live up to… Your grandfather’s legacy. H – He,” Kylo squeezes a bit, reflexively, and she gags for a moment before he releases the pressure again. “He-e _chose_ the – Light… Even when he believed – it – it – was too late…”

Weakly, she lifts her numb hand to caress his face. With the skin-to-skin contact, Rey feels the Bond _bleed_ open and she _pushes_ at his mind, dropping a small, bright image into his consciousness. It is a tiny vision, hazy and indistinct. It’s insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but it is an image that she’s held secret and tight against her heart since they touched hands on Ahch-To. It’s what she saw, what convinced her that Kylo would turn to the Light.

The warm, sweet picture shows Rey sitting up in a hospital bed, looking thoroughly worn out, her hair hanging in sweaty, matted loops around her face. In her arms is a small bundle, wrapped in warm, white blankets. A shock of black hair tufts out of the top of the blankets, and Rey smiles tiredly but contentedly down at it. Beside her stands Leia, an arm wrapped snugly around Rey’s back as she beams at the young woman and her precious salvage. On Rey’s other side stands Ben Solo, dressed in shades of soft grey, one broad hand spread out along the bundle in Rey’s arms, the other cupped gently around the base of her skull. Ben looks positively stunned as he gazes down at the whole galaxy contained in Rey’s arms, happiness evident in every line of his body.

Rey is ripped out of the vision by Kylo, who stumbles away from Rey, dropping his lightsaber, which extinguishes as it hits the ground. Gasping, he crumples to his knees, his black-gloved hands clenching in the red earth. Rey wrenches herself to her feet, ignoring her body’s protests, and steps towards the wretched young man. He drags his head up to look at her, his expression naked with fear and grief. “I can’t, Rey…” he whispers, as she extends the tips of her fingers to brush across his forehead. 

“I know,” she replies, and the Force pours out of her, rendering Kylo, and every stormtrooper for a kilometer around, unconscious.

“I know,” she sighs, heart hollow with grief.

Breath wheezing out of her, Rey stoops to pick up Kylo’s lightsaber, and after a moment’s hesitation, the pieces of her staff. Shoving the cold and terrible saber into her bag, Rey rips off her arm wraps to bind her wound with efficient practice. She yanks her shirt down over her makeshift bandages, instinctively hiding the injury.

Rey considers the tree seriously for a moment, then gently breaks off a couple of branches, pressing an apology and a thank-you into its bark. She tucks the small sprigs into her pack as well, takes as deep a breath as she can, then holds out her hand above the ground. Closing her eyes once more, she locates the crystal deep in the earth. With a gentle _tug,_ it releases from the roots of the tree and pushes up through the soil. As it strikes her palm, Rey feels a slight spark of _rightness,_ and she smiles wearily as she tucks it into a small pouch at her waist. 

Ignoring the burn in her side, Rey turns and lopes off as quickly as she can in the direction of the Falcon.


	15. Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday; have a chapter!
> 
> I'm pretty damn happy with this one, too. There is quite a bit of Poe and Rey angst all mixed up with major FLUFF ahead.
> 
> There's also some medical care stuff that is probably wildly inaccurate for the Star Wars Universe, but idgaf. 
> 
> The essence of the power of a Force User comes from their choices. Kylo chooses to turn to the Dark Side, just as Rey chooses the Light time and again despite her terrible past. In this essay, I will...  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Warnings for this chapter: Rey tries to initiate some intimacy because she's all high on surviving her encounter with Kylo. It blurs some lines of consent, but Poe is okay and Rey is okay - these sweet, sweet muffins are okay.

It is night when Rey and Chewie return to the Resistance Base on Kashyyyk’s moon. The air has turned cold, or maybe Rey has lost too much blood, and she shivers with it, but her injury is the last thing on her mind right now. Immediately after landing, Rey shrugs on her leather and wool cloak from Ahch-To and makes her way as fast as she can to Leia’s rooms. Her senses are still so heightened after her encounter with Kylo that she can sense that the General is still awake and should therefore hear Rey’s report immediately. That in and of itself is a good reason to hurry, another being that Rey and Chewie still don’t know how the attacks on the First Order training facilities went. They had been under strict comm silence for the entirety of the mission. 

Chewie stays behind at the _Falcon,_ running the shutdown sequence, trusting Rey when she assures him that Leia is fine. She navigates the dark corridors with ease after a quick check-in with security. Soon, she finds herself in front of the General’s door, afraid to knock. If she’s right, then the future of the Resistance could rely on what she is about to tell Leia. If she’s right. Rey worries that she’s been wrong about far too many things, lately. With a hand that only shakes a little, she knocks. The door opens almost immediately. “ _Rey,_ ” the older woman breathes, her eyes fixed worriedly on her face.

“General – the First Order, how did it - ?”

“The mission was a success, Rey. We managed to liberate two of the three facilities before they caught on to what we were doing. There were almost no casualties, and the children are on their way to charitable aid organizations that will help to reunite them with their relatives.”

It isn’t until Rey lets out a long sigh of relief that she even realizes that she was holding her breath. “Rose, Finn, and Poe? They’re alright?”

“Yes, my dear. They’re all fine, and Poe’s physically much improved, though he nearly drove us all out of our minds because he was stuck in command on the Star Destroyer instead of flying an X-Wing… And he was nearly sick with worry over you.”

Rey doesn’t even have the energy to feel embarrassed at this last, pointed comment; she just slumps in relief at the news that her friends are all okay. “Now, get in here, Jedi,” Leia says, wryly, “You look dead on your feet.”

Rey looks up, startled at the title the General has given her before she follows the older woman numbly inside. Leia has slightly larger quarters due to her rank, and she leads the young woman to a small seating area. It’s clear from the steaming teapot, two mugs, and a haphazardly tossed blanket that the General was camped out her waiting for Rey to return. She pours the young Jedi a cup, but Rey ignores it in favour of collapsing into one of the cushioned chairs. A small voice in the back of her head notes flatly that something must be pretty wrong with that blaster wound for Rey to ignore something as basic to survival as hydration.

“I’m so glad you’re alright, Rey. Do you think you’re up for telling me what happened between you and my son on Yavin IV?”

With a deep inhale, Rey is able to nod her head. “Yes. I was able to lure him to Yavin IV just as we planned. When he arrived, I kept him there by convincing him that I needed his help. It wasn’t hard. He’s - _desperate_ \- to believe that the vision he saw of me turning to the Dark Side was true. It’s – upsettingly transparent how eager he is to have control over the people that he loves,” she says, brutally, wearily, not even really caring if her words hurt Leia. 

“When his troops searched the buildings nearby and found them unoccupied, it was obvious that I had lured him there falsely. We fought. I prevailed. But... He’s still alive,” she adds, looking the General straight in the eye.

Leia’s reaction is completely unexpected. Her face clouds with anger. “How could you, Rey?” she whispers, her voice shaking with cold fury, “How could you let him live after what he’s done? My son is _gone._ You’ve doomed an untold number of people.”

Rey knew it. She knew it and she did it anyway. Penitently, she inclines her head. “Yes. It’s possible. At the end of all of this, I might be just as tainted with evil and guilt as he is. But I don’t believe that will happen. When I touched him on Yavin, the Force Bond wasn’t corrupted by Snoke’s influence this time. And I _know,_ now. I’m certain. He _will_ turn before the end.”

Leia’s sharply indrawn breath is as loud as blaster fire in the small room. She clutches at Rey’s hands so desperately that her fingers start to go numb. “ _Are you sure?_ ” The words, when they finally make it out of Leia’s mouth, are quiet and rough with years upon years of unspent emotion. 

“Yes,” Rey confirms, calm and assured. “I’m certain,” she repeats, “But I don’t know what form his redemption will take, Leia. I can’t guarantee that I can bring your son back to you in the end.”

~~

By the time Rey leaves the General’s quarters, she’s dizzy with exhaustion, or perhaps blood loss. Though she’d continued to speak with the General for over an hour, detailing every moment of her encounter with Kylo, (except for the vision she had shown him – there was only one person who needed to know about that) the older woman had never noticed Rey’s injury, completely covered as it was. Common sense was speaking to her again in that flat, odd little voice, warning her that she should go to Medical immediately, but Rey can only think of one thing. She has to see Poe.

Somewhat deliriously, she makes her way slowly to Poe’s quarters. Thankfully, being an officer, he doesn’t dwell too far from Leia. Supporting herself with her hand running along the cool durasteel walls, Rey makes a right turn and blanches at the length of the corridor ahead of her. She knows that Poe’s room is near the other end. Breath coming in painful gasps, now, she creeps along the hall until she is at last in front of his door. She stands there for a moment, swaying slightly, before she remembers that she has to press the call button to be let in. She’s barely touched the pad before the door slides open with a soft _woosh._

Poe looks like he hasn’t slept in a week. His hair is sticking up wildly, as if he’d run his fingers anxiously through it many times. There are dark circles under his eyes and his lips are chapped like he’s either been forgetting to take care of himself or has been chewing anxiously on his lips. The necklace that he always wears is twisted around his neck so that the ring hangs down his back, and his sleep clothing is disheveled from what was no doubt some serious tossing and turning.

They stand frozen for a moment, one on either side of the door, taking each other in. Poe’s expression darkens alarmingly as his eyes alight on the blooming bruises on her face and around her throat. “You should see the other guy,” Rey jokes, before her legs give out and she collapses into his arms.

Poe catches her easily, but not without an accompanying noise of deep distress. “Rey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?! Are you hurt?”

Poe scoops her up in his arms while he talks, and deposits her gently down on his own bunk, careful not to jostle her. Rey can only nod numbly, too preoccupied with memorizing every detail of his face to answer. There is a deep crease between his eyebrows that deepens as he leans over her in concern, his hands rapidly and efficiently feeling up and down her limbs for any damage or breaks. She wants to reach up and try to smooth out that line, so she does. 

The pilot catches her hand in his own as it nears his face. He’s spotted the blood at her side, and he needs her to stop moving. “Rey,” her name is like a moan of pain on his lips. “I have to take these clothes off you, okay? I have to treat your wound.”

Rey nods once more, relaxing back into Poe’s bedding. Oddly detached from worry about her injury, Rey dazedly thinks about how he’ll likely have to replace his bedding after this. A small spike of panic manages to make its way through the fog as she thinks about how much she hopes she doesn’t die in Poe’s bed.

“You’re lucky that I happen to be terrible about going to the doctor when I should,” Poe jokes, and Rey can tell from the tension in his voice that he’s using the humor to cover up how disturbed he is by her injuries. Somewhat sardonically, Poe tugs a first aid kit from under his bed, one that is well-stocked with disinfectant as well as bacta patches, gel packs, and spray.

Rey smiles. “Always prepared, Commander,” she murmurs, sliding her fingers into his hair to anchor herself to consciousness as he carefully begins to cut off her clothes.

Briefly, Rey’s old habits surface, and she wonders how much salvage she’d have to collect to be able to afford a new set of clothes. Here, though, that thought is inconsequential. If she survives, she’ll be given new clothing by the quartermaster without a second thought. She’s broken from her reverie by an extremely relieved sigh from Poe. “It’s really shallow. The blaster bolt barely grazed your ribs. You must just be a bit weak from the blood loss. We can fix that,” he says, his voice shaking but still confident.

“ _Kriff._ ” The acute relief that she feels finally breaks through her shock. “Thank the _stars._ I thought for a second there that I might actually die, and then who would be here to bring the First Order down?” she teases, her laughter holding only the tiniest edge of hysteria.

Poe’s surprised laugh, on the other hand, sounds so good to Rey that a warm lick of pleasure eases down her spine. The pilot doesn’t say anything more as he bends to tend to the blaster burn, but the smile stays on his face and Rey’s fingers remain twined in his curls. The disinfectant stings a bit, but the bacta patch feels so good when Poe smooths it over her skin that she has to bite back a moan.

Poe stills for a long moment, and when he looks up at her, his eyes are dark. “Do you think you can sit up now?” he asks, his voice a bit rough. Moving her hand to his shoulder, she uses his solid form to push herself up off the bed. He stabilizes her arms by gripping her firmly below the elbows, and he helps tug her gently into a vertical position. When she’s upright, he guides her other hand to his other shoulder, so she can steady herself while he digs through the medpack for another item. He makes a small noise of triumph as he lifts a small vial out of the case. “I’m going to give you an injection to promote blood restoration, okay sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” Rey allows, and she only winces a little as the needle goes in. 

Almost immediately, she feels slightly more human. As he disposes of the used medical supplies in the biohazard bags that are included in the kit, he says, resignedly, “I don’t suppose I’m going to be able to convince you to go to Medical and have them give you a second look, am I?”

Her hands instantly clench with anxiety on his shoulders. “I’ll take that as a ‘no,’” he sighs. 

“I’d like to get some bacta on these bruises, too” he says, gently ghosting his fingers over her face, “But I don’t think there’s much point until you’re cleaned up, or I’ll just have to disinfect your whole head. Has that shot perked you up enough to stand in the ‘fresher?”

Rey straightens her spine, a wide smile breaking over her face at the thought of being clean. “Yes, I think I can manage that.”

“Good.” Poe grabs a couple of bacta gel pouches and helps her stand. He also snags a pair of sleep shorts and one of his shirts for Rey to wear as they make their way slowly across the room to the adjoining refresher. It is only once his hand is around Rey’s hips that Poe suddenly seems to realize that Rey is naked from the waist up, except for her breast band. He coughs and stares determinedly ahead after a quick, heated glance downward. Rey swallows a chuckle, which turns into a pleasant gasp of surprise when she sees that the shower in the small fresher is not a sonic, but a water shower.

Poe shrugs, jostling the arm she has draped around him slightly. “Perks of using an Imperial Army base, I guess?” he offers. "Those officers of the Empire really knew how to pamper themselves." Rey can hear the smile in his voice.

She slowly disentangles herself from him and moves to support herself against the shower door. “Thank you, Poe,” she says, a bit self-consciously, wrapping her arms loosely around herself.

“Any time, sweetheart,” he says, depositing the clothing on the sink, and turning to the door, still fixing his gaze anywhere but her. 

Reaching out to turn on the water, she calls after him, “Can you please look in my bag? I wasn’t sure what would happen to your tree after I left Yavin, so I took a few cuttings just to be sure. They should get some water.”

Poe’s voice is a little sad when he replies, “Sure, sweetheart.”

The last thing Rey hears before the ducks her head under the water is Poe rummaging through her pack. The warm spray feels incredible. Rey is immediately reminded of the way she danced in the rain during her dream of Yavin IV. Blood and dirt stream off her body and swirl down the drain as the young Jedi sleepily admires how perfectly waterproof the bacta patch is. While she helps herself to Poe’s various soaps, she has to work very hard to keep her brain from straying back to the fact that she is naked and only a few feet away from Poe kriffing Dameron. The water itself has something of an electrifying effect on Rey. The smell alone would revitalize her, but it also tingles as it courses down her body, awakening her skin.

As incredible as it feels, Rey can’t bring herself to waste much water, so overall, her time in the shower is efficient and brief. Her skin is buzzing with a strange tension as she exits the shower, and a delightful _shudder_ courses through her as she dries off with Poe’s towel and dresses herself in Poe’s shirt. His shorts are too big on her narrow hips, so she just shrugs and leaves them on the sink. As she opens the gel packs and rubs bacta over the bruises on her skin, she experiences delicious swoops of relief to counterpoint the pleasure still dancing across her flesh.

Feeling more energetic and almost without pain, Rey makes her way to the ‘fresher door without calling for Poe’s help. In the other room, the pilot is sitting on the bunk, his elbows propped up on his knees, something held loosely between his hands. Her eyes travel around the homey little room and come to rest on the two cuttings from the Force Tree, thrumming happily in jars of water. Like a magnet, Rey’s gaze is drawn back to Poe, and she takes in the tension in his shoulders and spine, but to her still-tired brain, it seems secondary to the way Poe’s muscles look underneath his thin sleep shirt. He doesn’t look up when she stops to admire him, but as she lingers in the doorway, he speaks. “Do you want to tell me why you had Kylo Ren’s lightsaber in your bag?”

The object Poe is holding is Ren’s lightsaber hilt. Rey quickly does her best to explain. “We fought; I won. I took it with me. Didn’t seem like a good idea to leave him with one more weapon at his disposal. Plus, if I know anything about him, having his lightsaber taken away will infuriate him and set him further off-balance. He’ll be vulnerable.”

Rey realizes that she’s babbling into the silence, but she’s pretty sure doesn’t want to hear what Poe has to say about her answer. He puts up a hand, halting her ramblings. Nervously, she waits for his response, but her tired brain is also stuck on the sweat she can see glinting at the hollow between his collar bones, and how his hair had felt between her fingers. He clears his throat before he says, simply, “Okay. Thank you for telling me. Now, let’s get you some rest.”

At this, Poe finally looks up at her, and Rey feels _faint_ at the way his skin instantly flushes and his pupils widen with desire as he takes her in. There is a curious lassitude in her muscles and bones – a need to _touch,_ to _taste._ She walks over to him, her skin alive with his gaze, the rasp of his soft shirt on her naked body setting her nerves alight. 

Coming to stand before him, she threads her fingers into his hair again, his posture deliciously _open_ to her, his throat bared and his knees spread. “ _Rey,_ ” he warns with a groan as his hands land on her hips, seemingly of their own accord.

“ _Poe,_ ” she teases in response, and lifts a knee to place it on the bed next to his hips.

His hands tighten on her, digging his fingers into her skin just a little. Rey sighs with pleasure and lifts her other knee to the bed until she’s straddling Poe’s lap, tugging on his hair to tilt his head back so she can dip down and taste his lips. Poe moans a little helplessly as she seals her lips against his, flicking her tongue out to taste him briefly before withdrawing coyly. Her legs are shaking with the strain of holding herself above him, but it feels _so good_ and she _doesn’t want it to stop,_ so she settles herself down in his lap, shivering feverishly as she feels him hot and hard against her, only one thin layer of fabric separating them.

Wrenching his lips away from Rey’s, Poe groans when her hips settle flush with his. “Rey,” he moans, as she attacks the skin of his neck with her teeth, “I’ve seen this before, sweetheart. We’ve gotta stop. You’re flying on adrenaline from your fight, but soon you’re gonna come down and you’re gonna come down hard. If we do anything now, I can’t really say that you consented – you’re too out of it with exhaustion and your brain chemicals.”

Rey wines a little in response and buries her head into Poe’s chest, rolling her hips just a little. Poe’s whole body tenses against her, and he stills her hips desperately as he admonishes, “Rey!” 

But it doesn’t matter in the long run. With her face pressed against his warm body and his arms holding her safe, Rey is already starting to crash. She lets her fingers drift slowly out of his hair and relaxes until her arms are draped around his shoulders, hands dangling down his back.

Poe’s body is so warm against her and for the first time in several days, Rey feels truly safe. As he relaxes into her, she makes a small sound of remorse. “Poe, your leg! I didn’t even think,” she mumbles into his shirt.

“It’s okay Rey,” he assures her, his hands now drifting soothingly up and down her back, “It’s almost all healed up now. You didn’t hurt me.”

“Good,” is the muffled reply.

Poe chuckles a bit, then gently maneuvers them so that they are lying down on his bunk, Rey on her good side facing the wall, Poe curled protectively around her body. She drifts for bit, hazy with exhaustion and unspent pleasure. When Poe speaks, his voice is low with hesitation and a hint of doubt. “Why didn’t you kill him, Rey?”

Rey is suddenly more awake than she’s been since, well, basically since she left Yavin IV. She rolls onto her back so that she can look at Poe. Her breath catches when she meets his eyes. “You have to understand,” she whispers, “That I thought I was going to die at his hands. The only way I could think to get away was to use the Force Bond against him – I – had to show him the vision that convinced me the first time that he could be turned.”

Poe makes no comment at the word ‘first,’ but his eyebrow ticks up, and Rey knows she’ll have to address it later. “The vision was of me, and Ben, and… Our child.”

Poe’s face is like an open wound.

Rey grabs his jaw, to keep him in the moment with her – “No, Poe. That vision _never_ would have happened. I was vulnerable, and envious of Ben when I went to him aboard Snoke’s ship. To me, Ben had everything I’d ever wanted – a family that gave a damn about him, a family that _meant something_ – and I wanted to be a part of that...” Poe makes a noise of distress at the reference to her childhood, but she plows ahead, needing him to understand – “But you must to know that even if Ben had turned to the Light Side at that exact moment when I was so raw, it wouldn’t have changed the choices he’s made and the things that he’s done. I _never_ would have chosen that life with him. That vision was a fantasy,” she murmurs, vehemently.

“The reason I didn’t kill Ben today is because I _know,_ this time. He _will_ come back to the Light. I promise, Poe. But when Ben does turn to the Light, it will be up to the Galaxy to decide what his fate his. I want no further part of his life. That day on the _Supremacy_ , and again today on Yavin IV, I – I made the choice not to let my past rule me. I left him. And that first choice, and every choice I’ve made since, has led me to you.”

He’s frozen, looking at her. Quietly, she tells him the last thing she needs to. “I chose you, Poe,” she breathes, “Today and every day since the one I met you, I think.”

Poe turns and buries his face in the crook of Rey’s neck. From the way he shakes when Rey gently encircles him in her arms, she thinks he is either crying or struggling to hold back tears. She spends so long stroking his back, waiting for him to calm down that she finds herself fighting valiantly against dropping off, but she wants to be sure that they’re both alright before she sleeps. When Poe finally does move, it is to pepper a line of kisses up her neck and across her face until he lands at her mouth. The kiss he gives her is hot and wet and _filthy,_ and she shudders weakly against him. “We both need to sleep, now,” he growls against her lips, “But I wish we didn’t have to.”

“M-me too,” she whimpers, arching up to try and catch him with her lips again, but he breaks away, landing on his back on the bunk with a regretful groan. Rey huffs out a laugh in response, and after a moment, Poe joins her, both laughing helplessly at how unreasonably tired they are. Rey falls asleep next to Poe Dameron, laughing in the face of pain.


	16. Seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> I'm not dead. My new job is insane and I love it but it's insane. I am sorry for leaving everyone hanging for so long.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME DURING THE INTERMINABLE WAIT!
> 
> I re-wrote this chapter like five times before I finally hit "Fuck it."
> 
> So here you go. I hope you like it.  
> .  
> .  
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> .  
> WARNING: Porn but also That's Not How The Force Works

Rey awakens when it’s still dark, energized despite a short sleep, held warm and protected in Poe’s embrace. In the dark of the pilot’s quarters, the Jedi carefully catalogues her body, realizing that the bacta has done wonders on her wounds. The blaster burn on her side has the distinct tight feeling of healing, and her throat and face are no longer tender and bruised. Frankly, she feels amazing. Lying on her good side, feeling Poe’s steady heartbeat against her back, Rey tries to identify the warm feeling expanding like a bubble in her chest. Safe. The young Jedi is feeling totally safe. It isn’t something she feels very often.

Something else is there, though, below the warmth. It sings like the Force Tree behind Poe’s home, but higher, sweeter. Despite every cell of her body screaming at her to stay pressed into her pilot’s grip, Rey carefully and quietly slides out of his bunk and follows the sound to her pack. She knows it is the crystal’s song even before she uncovers it nestled amongst spare machine parts deep in the pocket of her bag. An insistent pull, an irresistible imperative is building in her mind as she withdraws the precious gem, and she shrugs into her clothes almost without conscious thought. The rediscovery of the kyber crystal leads Rey outside the Base, passing silently through the pre-dawn like a ghost to the ridge above the last refuge of the Resistance.

It’s much easier, now, for Rey to dip into the tide of the Force. It seems almost as though retrieving the crystal from Yavin IV has unstuck something within her. Perhaps, though, it is simply because she had slept better last night in Poe’s arms than she can remember – maybe ever. 

As she meditates, she finds it useful to picture the endless stream of the Force as the shifting deserts of Jakku. The young Jedi may not care for the arid rock she grew up on, but it is familiar, and an easy thing to imagine. In her mind’s eye, it is as if the shifting sand dunes are the ebb and flow of the Force, and each and every grain of sand is a living thing. Rey sees herself seated on the sand, the heat and wind having no effect as she constructs her new lightsaber. 

Each of the tiny pieces she has carefully salvaged sits before her on a rough scrap of cloth. Every hard-won component is both functional and personal. Three kyber crystals will resonate within the hilt – her own, found beneath the Force Tree on Yavin IV, and the two pieces from Luke’s saber, split during the confrontation with Kylo on Snoke’s ship. The casing is made of her salvaged, broken staff, and the activating switch is an old, redundant one from the Falcon. She’s even used a bit of BB-8’s old casing from when she and Poe gave him an upgrade. When it’s complete, it will truly be a unique and personal tool.

Rey’s visionary self begins to assemble the pieces with her hands, and a small corner of her conscious mind knows that the lightsaber components are hanging before her in the air, assembling themselves purely through her channeling of the Force. She is deep into the puzzle of assembly when she senses Poe near her. His presence in her mind is like the warmth of the crackling fire in her hut on Ahch-To, and she contentedly leans into the familiar feeling as she continues her work. She knows that Poe will wait patiently until she’s done, and she focuses on the vision of the lightsaber shimmering in her mind, holding the gentle heat of Poe’s presence in a corner of her consciousness like a glowing ember.

As the last piece finally clicks into place, Rey opens her eyes. The sun is just beginning to rise over the horizon, and she can clearly see the orange light glancing off of a large bank of low-hanging clouds from her habitual position atop the ridge overlooking the Base. The clouds are dark grey above the reflected night, and a certain heavy pressure in the air suggests to Rey that rain is not too far off. She lets out a long, slow breath, almost afraid to look at the weapon hovering in front of her.

Poe has seated himself slightly behind her, watching her progress with the lightsaber over her shoulder. As she tentatively reaches out to grasp the newly-made hilt before her, he speaks quietly, his voice raw with emotion. “I was hoping that you’d still be there when I woke up.”

The simple statement cuts through her like a knife as her hand closes around the hilt of the weapon. No one has ever wanted her to stay with them before – she’s always been the one hoping and waiting. Quickly, she turns to him on her knees and hesitantly reaches out to cup her hand around his ticking jaw. The pilot gives her a searching look, his throat bobbing, and she finds herself trying to catch her breath. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I wanted to stay, but I could feel it calling me… I had to finish this.”

Rey holds the saber hilt out between them. It’s an uncomplicated thing, despite its power. Matte grey in colour, and sturdy but slim, Rey had buffed all of the leftover carbon damage from the metal. It flares slightly on either end, and other than the activation switch, it is unadorned. It’s truly beautiful in its minimalism. It looks exactly like the saber from her very first dream of Poe. The pilot’s gaze drops to it, and one hand twitches, almost as though he wants to reach for it. “It’s alright,” she prompts quietly, the thumb of her other hand stroking soothingly over his unshaven skin, “You can touch it if you want to.”

He looks up at her, and the expression on his face is so intense, so naked with hunger that her breath hitches. Warm liquid sugar pours down her spine when that ravenous expression on Poe’s face gives rise to the words: “No – I want to see you.”

It feels as though her heart is trying to escape from her chest as she helps Poe to his feet. Before he lets her go, he squeezes her hand, hard, and she moves several steps away from him regretfully. For a moment, Rey closes her eyes and holds the hilt out in front of her, calming her breath and her heart. She can feel the Force very near – caressing her like an old friend. It moves through her, through the hilt in her hand, through the man before her. 

She opens her eyes and presses the button to ignite the saber.

Twin bolts of brilliant light burst from either end of the weapon, the blades a blinding, silvery blue so light it’s almost white. The broken crystal from Luke’s weapon means that the beams have a similar volatility to Kylo Ren’s weapon, but Rey has managed to stabilize the plasma glow enough that, instead of shuddering and crackling, it pulses in mesmerizing waves.

The Jedi hears Poe’s gasp even over the hum of the saber, but the weapon is singing to her blood, so she begins to swing it, swooping through the forms she knows so well from practicing with her staff. As she moves, she can barely feel the first few drops of rain on her face, and they sizzle off the blade of her lightsaber, simply adding to the music of her movement. When she speeds up, she feels no fatigue, the blades whirring through the air with blinding intensity. Her muscles do not burn, her lungs do not flag. Deep in her bones, she knows that this is why the Jedi built sabers – the way it focuses the flow of the Force through her makes her feel unbroken, undivided, more _certain_ than she would have thought possible. She’d felt something akin to this when she held Luke’s saber, but _this_ is so much more. 

It could be a minute or an hour that she dances and swirls with the Force and her saber, but when she finally comes to a rest, Poe is still rooted to the spot, staring at her with undisguised _want._ Heat pulses through her core.

“Rey,” her name from his lips sounds like a prayer. 

Then she notices it. All around them, the rain hangs suspended in the air, droplets swirling and orbiting with lazy revolutions, each bead a perfect sphere. Two drops collide languidly in front of her eyes, but none of the water touches her or Poe. She’s done this – without even realizing, her balance in the Force has bled out into the world around her, arresting the fall of the rain.

“Kriff, Rey,” he says, his voice rough with a sincerity that seeps through every syllable, “You’re so unbelievably special. You’re a kriffing miracle.”

Rey’s heart nearly shudders to a stop before it restarts again, pounding like the sea against the shores of Ahch-To. Ben had called her _nothing._ She isn’t nothing to Poe, and she knows, she _knows_ that Poe doesn’t think she’s special just because she’s sort of a Jedi. He thinks she’s special because he sees her, every part of her. 

Without a thought, she extinguishes the blades of her weapon and tosses it aside, looking at Poe as if seeing him for the first time. Somehow, she has allowed the man standing before her to become permanently lodged in her heart, and the young woman realizes she is totally, irrevocably lost to him. In the past, Rey never could have imagined that she could feel anything as intensely as this – this need to be close to him. 

But her desire for him isn’t covetous. She knows, deep in her soul, that if Poe decided he didn’t want her, she would never try and force him to be with her. In all that she has learned from her friends, she knows that the ability to choose is the most important part of being free.

Following what feels like a taught thread of heat connecting her with the pilot, Rey steps forward slowly. She stops just short of him, swaying inwards as if pulled by a tractor beam. Could he feel the way her blood thrums for him? Even now, under his intense, hungry scrutiny, she wonders if he could possibly feel it, the crackling of energy like ozone between them. 

“ _Stars._ I… I know what the Jedi say about attachments… But I can’t. I _can’t_ just be your friend, Rey,” he whispers.

She finally, _finally_ breaches the distance between them, and the rain crashes down. 

He huffs a surprised breath against her mouth as her lips meet his, but then his arms come around her and she dissolves into him, her skin no longer a barrier to the intensity of the emotion he’s projecting at her. All she knows, all she cares about is that she has never felt as right as she does in his arms.

Her hands are tangled deep in his unbelievably soft curls, which are quickly dampening in the storm. She presses her body closer and closer to his; she needs his skin against hers. When she opens her mouth and slides her tongue across his, Poe makes a low, desperate noise in the back of his throat, and his arms tighten around her at last. The pilot’s fingers dig into her sides in a way that is painfully sweet, and she breaks away with a gasp, pleasure pooling with shocking swiftness in the bowl of her pelvis. 

Poe is breathing hard, and he sets his forehead against her collarbone, clearly fighting against the wave of desire surging up through him. “Rey,” he breathes, “You have to tell me this is okay. That you want this. That it isn’t against the rules...”

She cuts him off, yanking none too gently on his hair to force him to look her in the eyes. “Stop. I’m _changing_ their rules. I want you, Poe.”

His throat bobs as he swallows, and the movement makes her suddenly want to drag her tongue across his skin. His eyes closed, as if she is too much to look at, Poe takes a deep, steadying breath. Then he surges forward, kissing her with a passion that literally makes her weak in the knees. 

There is a part of Rey that wishes she had experienced something like this before in her lifetime – a way to put this into context. Like so many things in her new life, this kiss knocks the breath from her lungs with the force of its novelty. However, it isn’t simply the newness of this want – this need – to kiss Poe that is breathtaking. It’s the fact that, despite all of the wonderous things she has seen and done since she left Jakku, kissing Poe is the most overwhelming, the most all-consuming.

A small, quiet voice still cautions her that this vast feeling, this immense tide, is why the Jedi advised against attachment. 

The rest of her is too busy being swept away to care. 

The power of Poe’s naked desire is broadcasting to her through the Force like the collapse of a dying star. Slowly, he slides his hands down her sides to grip her hips. His touch has such a deliberate intent, and Rey is shocked at the trails of fire his fingers leave in their wake. He’s barely touched her, but she’s aching with desire already.

His lips brush across her jaw and down the column of her throat. “Poe…” she whines, breathily, and he suddenly nips her with his teeth. Her skin hums with it, like it’s on fire, like the worst sunburn she had ever gotten on Jakku, but somehow good. The heat of her skin contrasts deliciously with the slight pain of his teeth and the cool of the rain lingering on her. 

Time stops for a moment when he slips a hand between them and his fingers brush across her breast through her now-sodden clothing. Her fists tighten in his hair as her back arches into his touch. A small, eager sound escapes her when he sucks a bruise into the skin above her collarbone. It’s thrilling to think that he’s leaving a mark there – evidence of his desire borne on her skin. 

Poe pulls back to look at her, his thumb still ghosting over her breast. His penetrating gaze and the accompanying sensation prompt a deep shudder throughout her body. Despite a hint of his trademark cocky smile, Poe’s eyes are dark with lust, and his hands shake against her a bit. It’s almost as though this is as overwhelming for him as it is for her. 

Slowly, she uncurls her fists from his hair, then runs her hands down his neck and chest, watching as he closes his eyes and tilts his head back, almost overcome to have her touching him. Surely this power they have to move each other is as great as that of the Force.

Abruptly, they’re startled apart by a crack of light across the sky, followed by a terrifyingly loud rumble of noise from the clouds. 

Rey’s frozen with fear, her heart pounding in her throat, but Poe squeezes her hand and shouts into her ear over the rising wind and pounding rain that it’s a natural phenomenon for this moon. “We should still take shelter, though!” Poe yells, flinching a bit as another flash of light arcs over them. 

Rey nods vehemently and tugs him by the hand, scooping up her lightsaber and dashing down the path towards the _Falcon._

They’re both soaked to the skin and laughing helplessly by the time they reach the old freighter, which is blessedly free of both Wookie and porgs. As Rey releases Poe’s hand and walks back toward the lounge and berths, she unthinkingly begins to strip off her wet clothing. “ _Maker_ …” comes the low, desperate noise behind her as she drops her shirt to the floor. Turning to face the pilot, goosebumps skate across the skin she’s revealed to his gaze. 

She’s barely more exposed than he is, though – his wet shirt has become semi-transparent, and is clinging to every muscle in a way that makes her mouth go dry. He looks thoroughly debauched – his hair is mussed, and his lips are red from her kisses – and all of his focus is zeroed in on her. 

 

“Kriff, Rey…” he mutters, his voice pitched low with obvious lust.

Rey grins, delighted at the reaction she’s provoked in the pilot. Slowly, she reaches up and loosens her hair from its bindings, running her fingers through it to shake out the snarls. Poe responds by striding to her in three long steps, seizing her upper arms and kissing her so thoroughly it makes her dizzy. The pilot kisses like he flies – self-assured, a little bit cocky, and like he was born to do it.

Desperate, and _so hot,_ she breaks away and shoves him up against the bulkhead, sliding her hands under his shirt. His answering smirk is positively feral. She peels the shirt away from his skin and rips the offending garment off over his head – she needs to see him, to touch him.

Having succeeded in removing Poe’s shirt, Rey immediately puts her mouth and hands to his skin. He curses loudly, and she grins up at him from where she’s bent to flick her tongue over his nipple. He curses again, his voice echoing around the walls of the ship. 

Examining him closely, she follows the path of her gaze with her fingers and teeth and tongue. His body is criss-crossed with old scars, and fascinatingly, he has several tattoos. Rey runs her hands across the intricate shapes over and over again, delighted that the ink doesn’t come off on her skin. Poe tries to get his hands on her in return, but she keeps playfully batting him away.

“Rey. Rey, sweetheart. Let me look at you,” Poe is saying, his voice strangled and his muscles twitching beneath her ministrations. 

She ignores him, intent on memorizing his body, but then he finally manages to slide his fingers under the edge of her breast band. A deep shudder of pleasure runs through her body like a fever, and she stops to lean her forehead against his chest, completely overwhelmed with sensation. Poe huffs out a slightly strangled laugh as he tangles the fingers of his other hand through her hair. “Stars. I feel like a kriffing _teenager._ ”

Rey straightens and tilts her head back to look at him, her senses feeling fuzzy all over. The pilot glances back over her head towards the bunks. As she muzzily follows his sightline, an imperative throb comes from between her legs. 

_Bed. Bed and Poe._

Her brain grinds to a complete halt for a moment as she tries to grasp at the line of where this is inevitably leading. 

To Poe. 

In her bed. 

Naked. 

Poe clears his throat. “Is this all a bit new for you, sweetheart?”

Rey scoffs and turns back to look at him with a distinctly unamused expression on her face. “I’m a scavenger, Commander. I’m not dead.”

Poe arches an eyebrow at her, so she sighs and says: “Fine. There was a beautiful boy, back on Jakku…” 

It occurs to her now that the boy had looked a bit like Finn. She’d liked the way his white, white teeth flashed against his skin when he smiled. His smile was lovely, and it was what she remembered most about him. At her best guess, she’d been around sixteen years old, and it was the first time she’d ever experienced physical attraction. He and his parents had been stranded at Niima Outpost and he’d followed Rey around like a lost porg while they waited for a new transport. She remembers that the family had wanted her to come with them when they left. She hadn’t been strong enough, then, to leave.

She quietly elaborates; “We used our hands. We never got any farther than that. I was barely able to support myself, let alone a child… But - I’ve been to the doctor since then!” she quickly assures him. “I’m safe.”

Rey’s voice is small, but Poe smiles at her reassuringly. “Alright. Then you’re in charge of everything that happens from here on out. Anything makes you uncomfortable: you say stop, I stop.”

Rey nods enthusiastically – _stars,_ she trusts him with anything, _anything_ – and suddenly his lips are on hers again, and he’s backing her toward the bunks. Despite the momentary interruption, the intense arousal he awoke in her is still right there at the surface – it’s daunting, even a little frightening how much she wants him. Her legs are wobbly with it, and when her calves hit the bed she sits abruptly, her lips tearing away from Poe’s. He chuckles, but his laughter is cut short when she yanks him down on top of her.

Something low and deep, like an animal, rumbles in his chest when his body presses against her. Rey’s hips jerk into him in response, and she can feel how aroused he is. Tightening her thighs, she deftly rolls them until she’s straddled above him, grinning down at his dazed expression. Poe sits up suddenly, shifting until they’re face-to-face, positioned with Rey in his lap like they were the night before. With shaking hands, she guides his fingers to the fabric that covers her breasts. He locates the end with the laser point accuracy of a pilot, and dips her back in his arms to look at her as he unwraps it. 

Poe pauses for a moment to run an appreciative hand down her abdominals. She flushes, pleased. The Jedi isn’t ignorant of the fact that many humanoids prefer soft curves over her hard lines and sharp angles. Poe evidently does not. “You’re so strong…” he breathes in admiration, but speech deserts him when he finally succeeds in revealing her breasts. 

He simply sits and stares for so long that she begins to squirm under his scrutiny, fighting against the impulse to try and cover up. Rey _wants_ Poe to see her, everything about her, so despite her shyness, she lets him look for long time, growing steadily hotter under his gaze. Just as she’s about to give in and beg, he finally ghosts his fingers around her nipple. Her head jerks back and she gasps out his name.

The sensation is so concentrated that she almost wants to escape from her skin, and Rey fights not to writhe in his grasp. Trying desperately to split her focus so she doesn’t come undone from nothing more than a touch at her breasts, she traces his straight, honest eyebrows with her fingers, the deep crease between them demonstrating how careworn he truly is. He has the kindest eyes Rey has ever seen, their deep, warm brown made all the more pleasing by the crinkles at the corners. _It’s a good face,_ she thinks distractedly, recalling her first impression during their introduction.

Poe briefly meets her eyes again, a mischievous smile quirking the corner of his perfectly formed mouth before he dips his head and tastes the skin of her breast. “ _Oh,_ ” she sighs.

There is an exquisite heat in her veins, making her whole body feel heavy and deliciously languid as Poe drags long, slow licks across her damp skin. A small sound of pure need escapes out of her lungs as he fastens his lips around her nipple and sucks. She curves into him as he lavishes attention on her breasts – an area of her body she had never really considered erotic before. Now, she’s certainly willing to re-examine that assumption.

Her whole body is humming with pleasure, and when she flexes her hips, she can feel how powerfully slick she has become between her legs. Then Poe gently licks at one nipple while he reaches up and pinches the other, and her whole body _wrenches_ at the sensation.

Poe Dameron is one of four people in the entire galaxy who are allowed to touch her, and right now she’s aching for it. “Poe,” she whispers, burning with embarrassment and desire, “I need… Need to feel you… Touch me, Poe.”

With an expression of potent craving, Poe looks up at Rey, where she has half-covered her eyes out of sheer self-consciousness. One of his hands gently pulls her arm away from her face as the other slips into the waistband of her pants. “Please let me see you, Rey.”

She lets out a high moan as his fingers slip over her core. “There you are,” he whispers, gazing at her with an intensity that feels physical. 

She’s so wet, and Poe’s fingers slide easily across her, alternating between teasing at her entrance and the tight bundle of nerves at the apex of her sex. Rey tugs his hair again with one hand, the other gripping his wrist so she can get his thick, clever fingers precisely where she wants them. The pilot groans as one of his fingers penetrates her. “Y-es,” her voice cracks as she rolls her hips into his hand. 

He crashes his mouth against hers for too short a time before he leans back on one elbow, eyelids hooded with pleasure and voice gravelly with desire as he whispers, “That’s right, sweetheart. Take what you need.”

“Ah!” she gasps, and desperately reaches up to the second bunk above her head to steady herself as she thrusts her hips. “Another one,” she gasps, finding it quite beyond her to be polite in this moment. Poe complies so readily with a second finger that she strongly suspects he has absolutely no problem with her directness. His two fingers inside her feel exquisite, and she shifts forward, trying to get them exactly where she needs them. She’s chasing her peak: the pleasure keeps building and building but she can’t quite hit the right angle to push her over the edge. Rey stops suddenly with a huff of frustration.

“Wha- ?” Poe sits up as she pulls his hand from her pants and rolls off him. 

His expression is concerned; he’s probably worried that he’s done something wrong, but she’s too busy shimmying out of her leggings and underwear to reassure him. “ _Oh,_ ” he grinds out, his tone somewhat desperate as she shucks the last of her clothing, then wiggles backwards until she’s leaning against the wall at the head of the berth, looking at him expectantly. 

Poe is completely arrested at the sight of her naked before him. 

Eagerly, Rey holds her hands out to him, but he’s frozen, breathing like he’s fighting valiantly to control himself. She shivers, a bit, but he still doesn’t move. 

Impatient and getting chilly, Rey cocks an eyebrow and clears her throat. The sound seems to snap Poe out of his trance, and Rey instantly finds herself yanked to the edge of the bed by her ankles, the pilot kneeling down between her knees faster than she would have thought possible after his leg injury.

She shrieks with surprised laughter, and Poe grins at her wolfishly before zeroing his attention in between her legs. “Rey,” he growls, his eyes flicking back up to meet hers as he licks his lips in anticipation, “Can I…?” but he can’t seem to finish what he wants to say.

 _Kriffing hells Poe looks so good between her legs._ “Yes,” she barely manages to get out, “Yes. Please…”

Rey loses all power of speech as Poe ducks in and licks a long, hot stripe up her slit. Her body tenses as her focus narrows down to a single sensation: the feeling of his tongue slipping out to taste her. Deftly, he flicks the tip over her clit and her hips nearly jerk off the bed. A ravenous noise erupts from Poe in response and he swiftly hikes her knees over his shoulders and splays a hand across her pelvis, pressing her relentlessly into the bedding. 

Then he latches his mouth to her like a starving man, and for one brief second Rey worries that she might actually combust, her nerves sparking all along her body like the striking of a flint.

She comes embarrassingly fast. 

A strangled cry is wrenched from her throat, and Poe moans against her. Her thighs quake around his ears, and she’s breathing like she’s been racing up the stone steps to Luke’s hut. 

“Poe,” she sighs, threading pleasure-numb fingers into his curls. He looks up at her, and his eyes are so dark with mischief that her brain momentarily goes offline. It sparks to life again when she realizes:

 _Hells._ He wants to do that again.

Rey’s not even a little bit sure she’s physically capable of that, but she finds herself nodding at him so hard her neck muscles twinge. He lets out a chuckle despite himself, then dives back in with a level of enthusiasm that is almost alarming. This time, Poe doesn’t hold down her hips, and the reason becomes obvious soon enough. Two fingers slide inside her with ease, and she can’t help the absolutely _wrecked_ noise she makes in response. Then, because he’s _Poe Kriffing Dameron, Best Pilot in the Resistance,_ he curls them up with infallible accuracy to press against a spot that makes her _stop breathing._

It’s a pathetically long time before Rey realizes that the person moaning Poe’s name over and over again is her. He is unerringly skilled at reading her body. Rey’s come before, of course she has, she’s had plenty of practice, but she’s _never_ been able to do this to herself. Poe can play her nerve-endings with a skill that’s almost scary. 

It’s just then, without a hint of a warning, that Poe suddenly changes the angle of his fingers, wraps his lips around her clit and sucks. Her spine arches so dramatically that her entire upper body lifts off the bunk with a hoarse cry. She falls back to the bed, and Poe continues to thrust his fingers inside her. It’s _way too much_ but also somehow _not enough_ and if she doesn’t come soon she’s afraid she will _shatter._

Poe seems to feel the same way because he’s backing off with his fingers, choosing instead to slide his hands under her hips and lift them bodily off the bed so can tease her entrance with his tongue. She practically sobs she’s so overwhelmed, and then he ever-so-gently scrapes his teeth across her clit. The pain/pleasure is what finally does it: she comes so powerfully that every single muscle in her body goes taut, no sound but a tiny gasp of air passing her lips.

For a moment, Rey can literally see stars: her mind is suspended amongst a billion tiny points of light.

When she comes back to herself, she’s somehow drawn up tight in Poe’s arms, both of them lying across the bunk, breathing hard. 

She tries to speak, but initially, all that comes out is a dry little noise, so she swallows and tries again. “Poe. That was…” but she trails off. She truly has no words to describe what she just felt.

Apparently, Poe is just as overwhelmed, because his response is an awed and quiet: “Yeah.”

Poe is on his back, and she’s kind of sprawled across his naked chest. She moves a bit to readjust herself, and as she does, her leg brushes against the front of his pants. The pilot hisses as his hips involuntarily jerk against her thigh. Rey pushes herself up on one shaky elbow to look at him, and he’s looking back at her, helplessly.

“Want to do something about that?” she asks with a smirk.

Gently cupping her face with one hand, Poe smiles genuinely at her. “It’s alright, Rey. It can wait. We don’t have to do anything more right now.”

She snorts in response, and Poe has the grace not to look _too_ offended.

“In case you’ve forgotten, Commander,” she teases, “It’s not like we get that much time alone together. I mean, we are trying to bring down the First Order, here. I think I want to take the chance to have _this_ whenever I can.”

She gestures emphatically between the two of them, emphasizing her point. There is a momentary pause before he chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re going to kill me, Jedi.”

“That’s not part of the plan,” she says, sitting up to wrestle with his pants. “Wear you out, though? That’s definitely part of the plan.”

He laughs even harder as they both try to divest him of the final garment between them, making the entire action much more complicated and laborious than it has to be. 

Finally, finally, she can see Poe in all his naked glory, and she examines him with delight. His legs are corded with muscle in a way that she’s never thought she’d appreciate, but it truly makes her salivate for a moment when she sees them. A bit shyly, she extends her hand towards his cock, hard and leaking against his stomach. “Can I touch it?” she asks, sheepishly.

“Hells,” Poe breathes, “You can do whatever you like, sweetheart.”

Gently, she wraps her fingers around it, and the strangled sound Poe makes in his throat in response is extremely flattering. 

“You can – ah!” he gasps, as she starts to glide her fingers up and down the length. “You can… Grip a bit harder. I won’t break.”

Rey does as instructed, watching with fascination as the pilot tightly closes his eyes and tilts his head back into the bedding at the sensation. A slow flush creeps up his chest and neck, and Rey gasps when his cock twitches in her grip. 

When she looks up to take in Poe’s reaction, she can see that he’s biting his lip, hard – he’s trying so hard to keep himself under control. But Rey doesn’t really want control. Sometimes it seems like her entire life is about maintaining control over herself, over the Force, over her feelings. Would it be so wrong to let go, to surrender fully, just once? Decisively, she moves to straddle Poe, her knees on either side of his hips, his cock still held firmly in her grasp. 

When Poe next opens his eyes, it’s to see Rey perched above him, determination etched into every line of her posture as she positions herself to take him inside. “Rey,” he moans, his hips jerking up a little despite himself.

A small, breathy sound leaves her as the movement causes the head of his cock to bump up between the apex of her thighs, almost slipping inside for a moment. Poe’s gripping her hips hard enough to leave marks, trying to slow everything down, but she doesn’t want that. She makes a little exasperated noise, and barrels ahead, much as she always does. With one swift, decisive move, she guides him inside.

Poe throws his head back with broken groan, totally overcome for a moment, but Rey stays quiet and still. 

Having Poe inside her is a difficult feeling to describe – it doesn’t hurt, not at all, and while it’s not exactly pleasurable either, she knows it will be, very soon. More importantly, she’s never been closer to another person than she is right at this moment, and the thought makes her want to fall apart. There’s sadness, yes. She’s never ever experienced a closeness comparable to this before, either physically or emotionally. The lack of connection in her life up until this point has been an undeniable cruelty. But this – the fact that she can experience this – it’s pure joy.

Carefully, she watches Poe’s face, and just at the moment when he seems to be getting himself back under control, she rolls her hips into his. With a gasp, Poe’s eyes spring open and he reflexively tries to sit up, but she places a hand on his upper chest, stilling his movement. Slowly, relentlessly, she pushes him back down, pressing him into the bedding with a grin. “ _Stars,_ ” Poe breathes, as she carefully positions her hand just at the base of his throat.

The Jedi is looking smugly down at him when he suddenly bends his knees and plants his feet, thrusting up into her. The delicious drag inside her is a revelation. She knew it would be amazing, indescribable, to have Poe inside of her, but this is beyond what she could have imagined. All of her muscles go instantly lax, and she nearly loses her hold on him. “Oh!” she pants, “Oh, Poe. Yes. That’s it.”

As he moves beneath her, she feels her body respond to his – quickly establishing a contrary movement with her hips so that she meets each thrust, pleasure radiating out from where they’re joined. Their coupling begins in a slow and languid rhythm, each carefully observing the other’s reactions to see which efforts garner the most positive results. Sooner rather than later, however, Rey tilts forward a bit and finds a spot that makes her shudder with delicious carnality, and everything begins to speed up.

Poe is so beautiful beneath her, shaking with barely repressed wantonness, his skin flushed, lips parted, and eyes dark with lust. Rey bends down and licks at a bead of sweat that has collected between his pectorals, and the muscles jump beneath her mouth in response. She hums in pleasure and continues to press hot, open-mouthed kisses to his skin, still holding him down audaciously. 

The pilot moans helplessly as he thrusts up into her, his tempo becoming a little erratic. She’s so busy focusing her attention on him that she doesn’t notice his hand moving from her hip until his thumb suddenly slides over her clit. The acute heat through her clit in counterpoint to the deeper, profound pleasure of penetration spirals through her dizzyingly, and Rey can feel her containment of the connection to the Force slipping while her peak endlessly rises and builds.

But her body is so wrung out from Poe’s previous ministrations that she can’t quite crest, and she nearly sobs in frustration. “Rey,” Poe’s voice is gravelly and deep, piercing through the fog of frustrated lust, “It’s okay. Let go.”

And she does.

Rey’s barriers fall one by one, and for a moment, she doesn’t know where she ends and the universe begins. She’d seen a glimpse of it earlier in her exploration with Poe, when she’d floated among the stars, but this is so much more. In this place that exists between the light and the dark, life and death, this place she’s only tasted in her dreams and during mediation, she can finally understand the nature of the balance of the Force. It is only a split second, however, and miraculously, the Jedi maintains some awareness of herself and her pilot. “Poe,” she sighs in wonder, “I wish you could feel what I feel…”

When she opens her eyes to look at him, his expression is full of something that she couldn’t name but is indescribably beautiful. “Can you show me? Can you try?” he asks, quietly.

How is it even possible that Poe can have _this much_ faith in her? Despite all of her mistakes, despite how inexperienced she is in the ways of the galaxy, he trusts her with his life and his heart and his mind. So, with a deep breath, she nods, and tries.

Carefully, gently, she reaches out to him with her feelings. Her mind brushes against his, a flare of both warmth and anxiety meeting her. Trying to project the mental equivalent of a soft caress, she does her best to soothe Poe’s fears. Instead of pushing into Poe’s mind as Kylo Ren had done, Rey hesitates. How could she possibly share her experience of the Force with this wonderful man without causing further violation of his mind and his person?

All at once, she _knows,_ and with a gentle pull, she invites Poe’s mind into hers.

Distantly, she registers the sound of shocked gasps from both of them, but the sensation is so all-consuming that a mere inhalation doesn’t seem an adequate result. Carefully, she lets his consciousness expand within hers, unflinchingly allowing him to know her more deeply than anyone ever has. She cradles him within her like a fragile, precious, newly sprouted seed and then releases him into the flow of the Force.

Warm, white light bathes her mind and she shudders to completion in slow, deep waves, feeling the echoes and feedback of Poe’s immersion in the Force. In a small corner of her mind, she can hear objects falling to the floor all over the Falcon, and wonders, briefly, if she did that. Every other bit of her concentration is focused on Poe. 

Letting her body stretch out over him, Rey lays her head alongside his on the pillow and watches the expression on his face. The pilot’s eyes are clenched tightly closed, and he’s panting through parted, moistened lips. As she watches, he bites his lip and lets out a low exclamation: “ _Maker._ It’s _beautiful._ ”

A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth and she softly opens her mind to him again, guiding him out of the space between the stars. A deep, contented sigh escapes Poe’s chest as all of his muscles relax and his expression calms. Silence fills the hold of the ship for a long moment before Poe cracks one eye open to look at her.

His expression is inscrutable as he turns his head to face her fully, but the kiss that follows is tender and sure. It quickly becomes decidedly less sweet, however, and Rey can’t help the little moan that escapes her mouth when Poe’s hips shift, and she feels him still hard within her. Smoothly, he rolls them until he’s above her, cradled between her legs. “It's-s’okay, Poe,” she hums, digging her nails into his hips to pull him closer “Your turn to let go, now.”

A low cry leaves Poe’s mouth as his hips stutter and thrust into her in response. She wraps herself around him, holding him safe, and closes her eyes in contentment as his hot breath skates over her skin. Clearly, he is nearing his crest, though Rey is too overstimulated to follow him over the brink. She is satisfied merely to let him find pleasure in her body – he’s given her so much already, and she’s pleased to return the favour. Rey presses a tender kiss to his pulse, and he suddenly comes with an almost surprised-sounding gasp.

For a few moments, all he can do is hold himself over her, breathing in harsh little pants. Then he pulls back to look at her, shifting his weight to one hand in order to brush her matted, sweaty hair away from her face. He swallows, clearly a little overcome. “Do you know what it’s like to get to touch you, Rey?”

Unexpectedly, Rey’s throat tightens with emotion at his words. Honestly, it isn’t what she expected him to say. If anything, she would have thought he’d comment on how he experienced the Force, but no; it seems that to Poe, the most remarkable thing he’s encountered is, well, her.

There’s simply no way she can articulate a response to that, so she kisses him instead, a sweet brush of her lips against his.

Poe sighs into the kiss, and then they curl up together on the narrow bunk, fighting off the call of the galaxy for a few hours more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately I can't guarantee the next chapter will be forthcoming with any more speed than this one was.
> 
> However, I can tell you that I am doing my best. And this story _will_ be finished.
> 
> Also I just checked and this is three times the length of my Masters dissertation I'm in hysterics.


	17. Exposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. I hope at least a few of you are still with me :) I want to take a minute to extend my sincere thanks to a small but loyal crew of you who are there every time I post a chapter, no matter how far apart they are. You're all the reason I keep writing this, even when it's hard to do so. And thank you to the new people who discover this story when I post a rare chapter and it pops to the top of the search result again.
> 
> All of your comments and kudos are so kind, and I am so happy there are so many delightful, warm people who love this particular pairing.
> 
>  
> 
> NOTES for this chapter:
> 
> The beginning of this chapter is NSFW. I have added a couple more tags because of this, but nothing crazy kinky happens.
> 
> _The sexy stuff is over and done with when it says: "Rey dreams." You will see this just before the second "..." divide. I will be putting a summary of the first two scenes down at the bottom for those of you who aren't into that type of thing, but still want to keep up with plot points._
> 
> There is a lot of dialogue in this chapter, but it's because there's a lot of plot stuff now as we near our climax and conclusion. Expect: Smut! Plot! Dialogue! Character development! Cameos! That's not how the Force works!
> 
> At close to 8,000 words, this chapter is a bit of a doozy. It is also only edited once so I am sorry if there are any errors. I hope you enjoy!

The first few days after the rainstorm, Rey and Poe sort of dance around each other, each shyly trying to process and negotiate this evolution in their relationship. They haven’t slept together again yet; truly they’ve both been too busy preparing the Base for a low-alert evacuation. A new location for the Resistance has finally been decided upon: an apparently hellish planet in the outer rim called Barabas I that is nevertheless friendly to their cause, and the Jedi Order in particular. There is no point in waiting around for the inevitability of the First Order finding their location.

The Jedi and the pilot do manage to catch a few moments together at mealtimes, but neither is prepared to broadcast their developing relationship publicly yet. Instead, they resign themselves to meaningful glances and furtive brushes of skin on skin beneath the table. Rey desperately wants Poe in her bed again, and while she’s sure he wants the same thing, she also knows he will likely wait to come to her until she asks him.

On the third day after Rey had completed her lightsaber, she takes her final flight test. The fact that she knows how to fly is a foregone conclusion given her default ownership of the _Falcon,_ but some of the more ‘rules-oriented’ members of Command had insisted that Rey take the proper flight tests before she be allowed to pilot an X-Wing for the Resistance. On the day of her final test, she’s absolutely thrilled to be finally flying a fighter without the Astromech wired directly into the engine override. 

Flying the _Falcon_ is exhilarating but flying an X-Wing is something else entirely. Lighter and faster in-atmo, X-Wings make for incredibly fast and manoeuvrable fighters both in space and above a planet’s surface. When she’s flying, Rey finds it easier than ever to let go of her earthly connections and feel her connection to the Force. She never feels freer than when she’s flying, untethered and not even beholden to gravity. She knows that Poe feels something quite similar when he flies.

As the reinstated leader of Black Squadron, Poe is in charge of overseeing her final flight exam. She grins cheekily at him as he walks her through the safety inspection one more time and wrinkles her nose a bit as he rolls his eyes at her in exasperation. “This is serious, Jedi,” he sighs, humor lingering at the edge of his tone despite his facial expression.

Her grin widens. “Of course, Commander,” she says, a little insolently, “I’m paying very close attention.”

The deeply sceptical look her gives her in response to that statement is highly satisfying. His expression softens into something significantly more serious, however, and he surreptitiously takes her hand and whispers, “Please just do your best to be smart and safe up there, okay? I know you’re going to kick this test’s ass, but don’t get cocky just because you’re incredible, okay? It could come back to bite you. I’m speaking from experience.”

Rey bites back a sassy response, realizing that this is the closest that Poe’s ever really come to referencing his hubris aboard the Raddus. “Okay,” she says, darting in to plant a quick kiss on the very corner of his mouth, “I will.”

With a small smile and a quick squeeze of her hand, Poe releases her so she can finally climb up into the cockpit. After pre-flight checks, Rey’s test goes off without a single hitch, both inside the planet’s atmosphere and after she has taken the fighter out for a brief manoeuvre in space. Her stomach swoops with delight as she swings the X-Wing back in towards the hangar, and she lands it with a small flourish, unable to resist showing off just a little.

Rey can’t hear anything over the loud hiss of the hatch unsealing, but as it creaks up and she pulls off her helmet, she becomes aware of cheers echoing around the hangar. She pushes herself up out of her seat to look over the rim of the cockpit in surprise, shocked to see a large group of cheering rebels gathered around her ship. 

Their reaction pales in comparison to the only thing she can really see – Poe. His expression is focused and predatory in a way that sends a delicious frisson of desire down her spine. She climbs down from the cockpit on legs that are suddenly shaky and finds herself face-to-face with him. His voice is low and intense as he says, “Congratulations, Rey. Pending your official results, I can officially welcome you to the Resistance Forces.”

A large cheer goes up from those assembled. The extremely pleased smile and happy flush that spreads across her face at his words are impossible to suppress. “If you’re ready to go Rey, we can share the results of your exam with the General now,” Poe says stiffly, something behind his words that Rey can’t quite put her finger on. 

She nods and follows the pilot, who has already stridden off without waiting for a response. All she can do is smile and wave apologetically at the crowd that has gathered as she leaves the hangar.

Rey temporarily loses sight of him as she follows him into the corridor off the hangar, but as she comes around the corner, Poe grabs and all but _shoves_ her into a small storage closet. There isn’t even a chance for her to react before he opens the access panel for the door controls and viciously rips out some wiring, ensuring the door will remained locked behind them. At Rey’s shocked gasp, the pilot chuckles darkly. “Like you can’t fix that in about three seconds,” he says, and his confidence in her skill sends a little thrill up her spine.

Rey could swear his desire is palpable in the air – she can feel it pressing in on her skin and easing into her flesh, kindling a fire to answer his. She shivers involuntarily, unexpectedly thirsty for him. He must see some kind of change in her expression, because suddenly, his eyes darken and he’s stalking toward her in the small space. Rey’s back hits the cold durasteel before she even realizes she’d been backing away. Faster than she can blink, the pilot plants his hands on the wall to either side of her body, caging her in. “Poe?” she gulps, her mouth dry.

“It should be illegal, you know,” he all but growls, his voice suddenly about an octave lower.

She’s trapped by his gaze and trapped by his arms, but she finds she has no interest in escaping. When she responds, her voice is already breathy with want. “What should be illegal?”

“You. Flying like you _own_ the sky. I had to stand down here and watch while you flew circles around every member of my squad, myself included. Then you land like a dream and come out of the cockpit looking like that?” Every word that falls from is lips stokes the fire in her gut, sparks spreading up her spine. Poe steps in toward her, his eyes boring in to hers. 

“Kriff, Rey. I have never been so turned on in my life. The way you fly. How smart, and skilled, and confident you are… It’s the sexiest damn thing I’ve ever seen.”

He’s breathing hard, and the way his breath skates across her heated skin causes goosebumps to raise and spread wherever it touches. A delicious pulse of lust rolls off of Poe, and somewhere in the back of her head she wonders if she’s always been able to pick up on Poe’s moods like this. For a moment, she catches a glimpse of how fundamentally things have shifted in the last few days, and not just between her and Poe, but then Poe leans a little further in and the insight slips away. 

“I can feel you on my skin, like static,” she breathes, not really conscious of what she’s saying, shivers running down her scalp and then her spine before coming to rest deep in the bowl of her pelvis.

Rey feels like she’s slowly being dissolved in warm liquid, and she’s distantly aware of how her skin is flushed and her lips have parted slightly in anticipation of his mouth on hers. She’s more acutely aware of how these physical responses have suddenly made Poe desperate when he grinds out: “ _Stars,_ Rey, I need to touch you, I need to – can I kiss you? Please?”

“Yes,” she gasps, “Please, Poe, I – _ah!_ ” She’s cut off with a quiet moan when instead of kissing her on the lips, Poe surges in and drags his teeth across the skin of her neck, right underneath the joint of her jaw. He kisses the spot and then bites it again, nipping and kissing his way down her neck.

Rey tugs his hips into hers, and he smoothly slots his leg up between her thighs, drawing attention to the fact that her underclothes are already so sodden that they provide no friction when she helplessly grinds down. Poe moans against her neck as she does, one of his hands finally moving from the wall to slide up her body, seeking the zipper of her flight suit.

“Watching you these last few days,” Poe breathes between bites to her sensitive flesh as he slowly eases the zipper down, “Fixing up the fleet, modding out my X-Wing, knowing how you taste and _what you look like when I’m inside you_ … I had to constantly stop myself from pressing you up against the nearest wall and kissing you like I didn’t give a damn who was around. You’re beautiful, Rey. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

The Jedi lets out a high moan through closed lips, his words setting her alight, her hips jerking reflexively. Poe pulls back to look at her as his hand reaches her waist, the front of her flight suit falling open. Rey can actually see the moment when his brain stops functioning and violently restarts as he takes in the sight before him. Underneath, she wears almost nothing. If Rey is being honest, she finds the flight suits kind of stifling, so she wears nothing but her breast band and a pair of shorts under hers. Poe’s hand lingers on the pull tab of the zipper as he visibly swallows. Then, he reaches up and gently eases the open suit down over her shoulders.

The garish orange fabric gapes, bunching up in the crook of her elbows, leaving her chest and shoulders revealed. Much like he did the first time he saw her shirtless, Poe pauses for a long moment, just to look at her. Her body aches with want for him, but she waits again, shivering with delight at the knowledge that he wants her just as badly. She can’t seem to get a very good handle on her breathing or the pounding in her chest. “Please, Poe,” she asks quietly, seriously, “Touch me.”

Immediately she finds herself pressed harder into the wall, Poe’s lips dancing across her collarbones, his hand delving underneath the flight suit. Rey has to remind herself to breathe. His fingers dip into the waistband of her shorts and she writhes against him, one hand in his hair and the other digging into his broad back. One of Poe’s fingers slips effortlessly across her soaking folds and her back arches in a taught line. When the tip of his clever finger -just- penetrates her, the deep sound that she makes _shudders_ throughout her entire body and causes Poe to freeze for just a moment, valiantly trying to control himself.

Rey’s head is buzzing with pleasure; everything is so unfocused with heat and desire that she barely registers when the sound in the room changes. 

Maddeningly, when he does return to his ministrations, Poe doesn’t seem to be making any effort to penetrate her further, content to tease at her entrance. “ _Please_ Poe,” she moans, dragging out the word, then freezes when she hears how her voice echoes.

Her eyes snap open.

Looming out of the shadows, a bare few feet from where Poe and Rey are intertwined, stands the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

His face is a thunderstorm, dark and infected with menace. 

The Jedi’s panicked inhale sounds loud in the silence, and her grip on Poe instinctually tightens in fear. The expression on Kylo’s face is terrible to look upon. The deep, deep chasm of hurt, the sense of betrayal that he clearly feels is thick in the room. 

His voice is quiet, yet it cuts the stillness like a knife.

“The _pilot_?”

Kylo can see Poe?

Rey’s mouth drops open in horror at the same time as Poe whips around, gaping at Kylo Ren in shock. 

_Poe can see Kylo?_

“No!” she cries, and then suddenly, Kylo is gone.

Rey immediately collapses to the floor, arms wrapped around her head as if to protect herself from a blow. “Oh no. Oh gods. _He’s going to be so angry._ This is all my fault. _What did I do_?”

Her mind is a black hole of fear, a screaming void of horror, and for many moments, she is completely unaware of anything else. She’s drowning in the dark pool on Ahch-To, choking on its black, brackish water. Then all of a sudden, a tight, searing circle of heat closes around her wrist, and abruptly Rey surfaces, gasping in the still air of a supply closet in a defunct Imperial Base that has somehow become home. Poe is crouched down next to her, his fingers circled gently around the bones of her wrist, and she can feel him, she can tangibly feel him pushing past his own panic in an attempt to help her. 

“Rey, sweetheart. I don’t know what the hell just happened, but I do know you didn’t do anything wrong,” he’s saying, though she isn’t really registering his words.

What if Kylo finds them? What if he attacks? What if she loses everyone she loves, again? What if her actions have doomed her to life as his unwilling consort, condemned to endlessly mourn her family while he draws on her power and takes his pleasure in her flesh? 

Gently, so gently, Poe prises her hand apart and cups her face, tilting her head up. “Look at me, Rey. Please look at me.”

The petrified Jedi manages to raise her eyes to his, the roaring terror in her head going quiet for just a second. “Rey. Listen to me. _You didn’t do anything wrong._ ”

She’s shaking her head, but Poe’s words are already starting to work on her. Rey may not have acknowledged it to herself, but she had known from the first moment she kissed Poe that this was a possibility, that Kylo might find out. She knew this might happen, and she chose Poe anyway. “Remember – everything that Kylo does is a choice – his choice. Nothing you do or don’t do forces him to make the choices he does,” Poe is muttering, grounding her with a firm touch at her shoulders.

Slowly, her shaking stills, and she pulls in a deep, shuddering breath. “Okay. Okay.”

They crouch in silence for a few moments more until Rey shivers, and shrugs her flight suit back over her shoulders. As she zips it, she looks up at Poe, whose expression now betrays a little bit of his own fear. “How do you think we could see each other?”

Rey shakes her head. “I have no idea.”

…

After agreeing to tell Leia about the Kylo as soon as they can get her alone (a real challenge with the evacuation preparations underway), they pick themselves up off the floor with the probably fruitless intent to pretend as if everything is normal. Feeling unsettled and unfulfilled, the Jedi and her pilot exit the utility closet and go about the rest of their days as planned. But that night, unlike the last few nights, there is no question about whether they will be spending it together. Rey finishes her shift and her dinner early and leaves the canteen before Poe has even arrived. Instead of waiting in the crowd, Rey seeks out the solitude of his quarters, and lets herself in. Once inside, she strips off her clothing and bundles herself into one of Poe’s shirts, cocooning herself in his sheets. 

She’s asleep when Poe enters the room, but she awakens enough to untangle herself from his bedding and reach out to him when she hears him moving around. He’s unsurprised at her presence in his bed, and she smiles sleepily as he quickly strips down to his underwear and climbs in with her. 

For a long time, Poe just holds her close in his arms, his lips pressed into her hair, his heart beating strongly under her ear. He holds her hard, enough that it hurts a little, but she knows her fingertips are pressing bruises into his skin, so it’s alright. They need this. She breathes him in, focusing on the feel of him next to her, miraculously whole and alive and hers despite everything they’d been through. Soon, though, the feel of his fingers digging into her waist and his legs tangled up with hers rekindles the fire from earlier. Sighing sweetly, she shifts to drag her lips across his skin, trembling at the sensation of his stubble against her mouth.

They move languidly against each other, the quiet of Poe’s quarters full of sighs and careful touches. This time, Rey lets herself be pliant, welcoming his weight on top of her, his arms blocking her in. She feels anchored and safe as he presses her into the thin mattress. She’s already wet and with little preamble, she takes him in her hand, guiding his mostly erect cock into her. He groans at the wetness, but she _needs_ him inside, _drags_ him inside with her hands on his hips, sighing with pleasure as he pulses and hardens further within her.

A deep gasp is drawn from her lungs when she suddenly feels an echo of Poe’s pleasure. It suffuses her, ricocheting through her bones, causing her own arousal to flare in response. Then it happens again. Soon, it’s almost like she’s stuck in a feedback loop of pleasure, experiencing her own and Poe’s concurrently. 

The rhythm he sets is measured and deep. It is almost as though he is trying to memorize how she feels around him. Time seems to slow down, and she narrows her focus to nothing but the sensations she is experiencing. She cups Poe’s chin in her hand and guides his face up so she can look him in the eyes. “ _Rey,_ ” he whispers, reverently, and the echoes of their pleasure finally spiral out of control. 

Later, they shower together, trading chaste touches. After drying off, they curl up naked in Poe’s bed, giving in to the primal craving for skin-to-skin contact. 

Poe sleeps. 

Rey dreams.

…

_There is a curious sensation on her skin. It Is as though an even, chill line bisects her body from head to foot. Her back half is being cradled, supported in the coolness, and the line undulates gently against her skin. It is only when she hears it – the gentle laps and splashes – that she realizes she is floating in cool water. With this realization, Rey opens her eyes._

_Far above her and reflected in the velvet black of the water around her, millions and millions of points of light glimmer. For a moment, Rey supposes them to be stars, but then she recognizes none of the constellations whirling above her. She breathes into the dark, shivering through the water. Somehow, it feels as though each point of light is tethered to her body by an invisible filament._

_She can feel the gentle tug of each light, calling from the darkness. Their warmth pulls and dances across her skin, raising goosebumps and making her muscles shiver. A low, penetrating hum pervades this place, causing ripples to form in the water and splash against her body. Suddenly, there is a distinct point of numbness on her skin, a notable absence. Then another, then another, and the next thing Rey knows, the lights above her are blinking out, one by one._

_Rey can feel the panic rising in her, the terrible numbness creeping across her body and towards her heart. Sound becomes muffled and her breathing becomes harsh as Rey clenches her eyes closed against the points of light extinguishing in the darkness. But the lights are imprinted on her eyelids and she can’t unsee it, and she’s drowning and struggling to surface…_

…

 

Something is chirping insistently.

Maybe the porgs are back. Rey had been sure that Chewie had finally managed to relocate them, though, in “The Great Porg Purge,” as Finn had taken to calling it.

The chirping continues.

Rey slowly swims to the surface of consciousness, fighting a very real desire to stay exactly as she is – forever, if possible. She’s warm, and safe, and unbelievably comfortable... Except for where her left arm has fallen asleep. Groaning lightly, she rolls over, the movement disturbing the other person in the bed enough to wake him.

Poe twitches adorably against her as he wakes up, trying to pull her back into his arms. She goes willingly, but that insistent _chirp, chirp, chirp_ continues, and she grumbles against Poe’s naked chest. Finally, it clicks. They’re not on the Falcon, they’re in Poe’s quarters. That sound isn’t Porgs, either. It’s a communicator. Blindly, she thrusts out her arm, lazily tapping into the Force to call the device to her. At the same time, Poe shifts against her.

The air whistles around the small communicator as it comes flying across the room at high speed, followed by the quiet smack of the comm’s hard casing as it strikes against skin.

Rey pauses for a moment, confused, and clenches her hand on nothing. She cracks her eyes open in amazement as she hears: “Dameron.”

Poe is holding the communicator.

_Poe is holding the communicator._

“Dameron,” he says again, sleepily.

Leia’s gruff voice echoes from the device. “Poe – we need you in the briefing room. Bring Rey, too – I assume she’s with you.”

Rey is positively gawking at Poe as he responds, “What’s going on, General?”

But neither of them registers their Commanding Officer’s answer as Rey watches the realization of what had just happened dawn on Poe.

“Okay, sure, General,” Poe says distractedly, disconnecting the comm and staring at it like it has suddenly come alive.

Rey can feel the panic bubbling up in him, so she quickly covers the communicator with her own hand, breaking his fixed gaze. “Poe. I don’t know how you just did that, but right now, the General needs us. Let’s talk to her after the briefing – maybe she’ll… have some idea of what the hell is going on.”

They dress in silence, staring at each other in shock and anxiety, at a loss for words. Rey is hyper aware of how Poe’s Force signature, while distinctive before, is now a constant glowing presence in the back of her mind, humming at a frequency she occasionally tunes into, like a badly aligned radial. She can feel it much like she feels Leia, but stronger by far. Rey keeps catching huge drifts of emotion from the pilot, swallowing his anxiety/fear/wonder as it mingles with her own. She can tell by the micro expressions on his face that he’s picking up on her feelings, too. It’s extremely disconcerting.

As they plunge out into the chaos of the hallway, Poe immediately wraps his arm around Rey’s waist and tucks her into his side. She glances at him questioningly, wondering if he’s even aware of his publicly affectionate gesture. Is this normal? Does he want everyone to know about them? She has no idea. 

As they hurry towards the impending intelligence meeting, the Jedi finds herself consumed by thoughts of how dramatically her relationship with Poe has evolved. Will anyone object? Are they even allowed to do this? In her headlong collision with her feelings for him, she never even paused to consider these things. A few people give them curious looks as they walk past, but no one seems surprised or upset, so Rey lets out a quiet sigh of relief. The pilot seems to sense her inner turmoil, because he gives her a squeeze and a crooked little half-smile. 

All thoughts of her relationship with Poe are temporarily banished from her head upon their entry into the Command Centre. It’s absolutely stuffed full of people, all shifting and muttering to each other through their apprehension and discomfort. As several pairs of eyes take note of their arrival, Poe’s grip on Rey migrates to her lower back, and his fingers dig possessively into her skin. She experiences a dizzying swoop of pleasure at the sensation.

She knows Poe can feel how she reacted when she catches his smirk out of the corner of her eye. Rey finds herself lost in gazing at him until – “Dameron!” Leia barks from across the room, “Nice of you to join us!”

Poe shrugs, good naturedly, but Rey’s face burns like a blaster bolt. Leia’s lip quirks up minutely, before giving Poe a swift but searching look. After her rapid-fire assessment of the pilot, she says, “If you will all direct your attention here.” 

A hologram of a face appears – a woman with olive-toned skin, clear brown eyes and dark, curly hair shorn close to her skull. She is covered in sweat and is wearing most of a full suit of stormtrooper armour. On the holo, she is speaking through clenched teeth, but no sound accompanies the image.

“This is NR-3147,” Leia begins, “She was one of the ‘troopers that worked at the child-soldier training facility on Gamorr. The second she saw Resistance troops land at the facility, she surrendered herself and her entire squadron. 

“As head of her squadron, she was privy to more information than your average soldier. Under questioning, she revealed that she chose to submit because of what she’d seen at the facility. In addition to the unspeakable deeds that were perpetrated there during Stormtrooper conditioning, she revealed that Kylo Ren had visited just a few cycles before we arrived,” Leia’s voice is tired when she mentions her son, and she leans heavily on her cane.

“During his inspection of the newest recruits, Kylo separated out three young soldiers, declaring them Force-sensitive before ‘collecting’ them and taking them off-planet.” Several people make noises of shock and disgust, and a general feeling of unrest ripples through those assembled.

There is a deep terrible moment of silence before Leia continues, “It is NR-3147’s assertion that Kylo is collecting Force-sensitive individuals in order to exterminate them.”

Rey’s knees buckle, and it is so sudden that Poe barely manages to catch her before she hits the floor. Her eyes are open, but for a moment, she doesn’t see the room. what she sees is the darkness stretching out above her, lights blinking slowly out.

“Rey!” Poe gasps, but she’s already recovering, pushing herself back to her feet.

She straightens and turns to the General. “I – I think it’s true,” she whispers, her voice shaking with horror, “I saw it.”

The rumble from the crowd is much louder this time, attention whipping back and forth between Rey and Leia. “It’s not just among the First Order, though,” Rey continues, now certain. “There have been other places raided. He’s – he’s found some way to clarify or magnify his ability to sense other Force-users.” 

The General nods gravely. “I’m afraid so. At least, that’s what NR-3147 reported.”

The silence that follows that pronouncement is so much more profound than any of the previous hubbub. The emptiness is perforated horribly by a single, choked sob from somewhere in the crowd that is quickly cut off. 

“I don’t understand,” Rose eventually whispers, and her voice carries despite the lack of volume. “Why would he do that? How are we supposed to stop him?”

Rey has her hand clenched into the shoulder of Poe’s coat, and she leans on him shakily as she replies, “This isn’t even the first time this has been attempted.”

“The first time what’s been attempted?” Rose’s voice is thin with horror, as if she already knows.

“An operation to round up all of the Force-users in the galaxy.”

Rey’s pronouncement rolls like a wave of dread over those assembled. “Rey is right,” Leia snaps out through the thick air, “But this time we can do something about it. We can stop it.”

The General nods sharply at Connix, who takes over the briefing with confidence. “Due to this development, our evacuation plan is being re-directed. Any non-combat Resistance members will be directed to immediately Barabas I – this is no-longer a low-alert evacuation. All combat troops will be directed to the following operations...”

NR-3147’s image is replaced with a planet, revolving slowly and scattered with clustered lights. “Corellia: Deep Core world, and home of the Empire’s shipyards. Intelligence collected from various defectors points to this as the First Order’s current Base of Operations. It seems that the Supreme Leader continues to take his cues from the past,” Kay comments, wryly. “We have reason to believe that there is a massive Stormtrooper insurgency brewing there, after word about the rescued child ‘troopers somehow got out,” she says, with a smirk in the direction of one of the Resistance’s best Slicers.

As soon as it arrives, the smirk is gone, and Kaydel is a consummate professional once again. “We are prepared, with the assistance of our brave family of defectors from the First Order and master pathfinder Major Kes Dameron, to begin a campaign of guerrilla warfare on the surface of Corellia and take out the heart of the First Order.”

The young Jedi experiences a moment of vertigo as Poe’s virtual double steps sheepishly forward out of the crowd to a round of thunderous applause. But no – this man is older than Poe by a good number of years, his hair more silver than black, with many more lines on his face. _Kes_ Dameron. This is Poe’s father. 

He glances their way – Rey feels momentarily as though she is caught in the beam of a very powerful x-ray – and gives Poe a quick, cheeky wink before directing his attention back to Connix.

“Ground Commanders, you’ll look to Major Dameron for your individual assignments. Air Commanders, you’ll answer to Colonel Dameron” - next to Rey, Poe straightens, the promotion clearly unexpected from the waves of surprise rolling off him – “Major, Colonel, Rey: remain behind for further instruction. The rest of you will receive your orders at 14:00 hours. Prepare to leave. Dismissed!”

Poe immediately drags Rey forward, rushing toward his dad. “Kes!” he practically roars, excitement bubbling up beyond the anxieties of the past hour. “I can’t believe that you joined up again, old man!”

The older Dameron throws his head back and laughs: “Turns out that not even thirty or so years of farming could make me stay away,” he chuckles.

Then, he eyes Rey appraisingly. “And you’re the little Jedi, aren’t you?” Kes asks, his tone achingly kind.

Rey reflexively drops her hand to caress her new lightsaber hilt slung over her hip. “Yes. I guess I am,” she says, a smile spreading slowly over her face at the realization. 

Kes looks momentarily a little punch-drunk, staring at her, before he raises an eyebrow at Poe, who is exceedingly flush all of a sudden. Then the moment is over, and Kes is saying, “I guess congratulations are in order, Colonel!”

Poe gives his father a friendly clap on the should before he pulls the old man in for a hug and says, a little fiercely, “You too, Major.”

Kes grins over his son’s shoulder at Rey and offers one of his hands to shake. She does, grinning delightedly at being a part of this little family drama. The two men part and they settle their attention collectively back on Leia as she finishes up with one of the other women in command.

“Gentlemen, I trust there won’t be any issue between the two of you during questions of command calls?”

Both men straighten up in unison and shake their heads sharply at the General. “No ma’am,” Poe says quietly, seriously.

The older woman gives the pair a sharp nod, then turns specifically to Kes. “Good to have you back, Kes. You’re going to be working closely with Commander Finn” – Rey grins at the mention of her friend’s brand-new promotion – “who was our first defector. He’ll help you coordinate with our ex-troopers as well as the ones planetside. With our newest intelligence, we’ve actually managed to make contact with several undercover insurgents on the surface who’re ready to sabotage key base points at a moment’s notice.”

Kes grins roguishly. “That’s good to hear, General. It sounds like he and I will make a good team, if Poe’s word about the kid is anything to go by.”

With a slightly ironic, sloppy salute at Leia, a nod to Rey and a quick squeeze to Poe’s arm, the elder Dameron is off to find Finn. Rey unconsciously slips her hand into Poe’s as they turn to the General. Her gaze flicks over them, swiftly evaluating. The pilot squeezes Rey’s hand, comfortingly, and Leia’s consideration ends as quickly as it began. “Well, I guess I’ll tell this to both of you, as I’m sure the other will hear about it, whether it’s classified or not,” she says archly.

Rey flushes, but doesn’t deny it. The General’s lip quirks up, minutely. “Dameron, you’ll bring our fighters in after the first few guerrilla attacks. We want them nice and focused on the surface of the planet, so you’ll have the element of surprise. You’ll also have unrestricted access to the surface, as Kes will be taking out their shield generator,” she explains.

Poe nods tightly, and Rey can feel that pre-battle excitement bubbling up under his ribs. Leia glances between them again, clearly sensing something, but she continues with her briefing. “Rey, I’m about to be reckless with you again,” she says, gravely, but Rey nods, ready, so ready to do anything for this family she’s found.

“At one of the Stormtrooper training facilities, we managed to capture some of their officers. They were – surprisingly forthcoming – during questioning, and they revealed that Kylo isn’t with the main forces on Corellia. It’s going to be our job to meet him on his own field,” she pauses, her expression blazing with fury, as she snarls, “And stop his heinous actions.”

Rey glances at Poe sharply, her hackles raised, as he says, quiet and deadly, “ _Our_ job?”

“The Jedi and I, Dameron. We’re going to confront my son.”

The pilot instantly opens his mouth to argue, but then snaps it shut again with a tight nod. Rey catches an intense feeling of pride from Leia, but before anything is said, they are interrupted by a loud voice: “And me, Princess. Don’t think for one minute that I’d let you go out and drag that big baby home without me,” Maz Kanata grumbles up at Leia as the ancient little alien totters into the group of them.

“Of course not, Maz,” the General chuckles, “You’re the key part of our plan.”

Maz cackles with laughter. “THE key part of the plan, eh? I like that, Princess. I’ll come on your mission, since you asked so nicely.”

Leia smiles down at Maz for a few moments before her expression hardens into something more serious. “I’ve stayed out of this fight for too long. Like it or not, my son is my responsibility, and,” she looks searchingly at Rey, “No one else’s.”

The Jedi swallows around a huge lump in her throat and places a hand on Poe’s chest. “I agree, General. It’s the best way to cut the head off the First Order. Is that all?”

Leia looks at them sharply. “Nothing else from me, but I think there’s something you need to share with me – in private?”

Rey nods emphatically after exchanging a brief, significant glance with Poe. With a jerk of the General’s head, the two nervous Resistance fighters follow Leia to her private quarters. As she finds herself once again seated on Leia’s couch, trying to think of a way to explain something that is extremely difficult to explain, Rey is startled to see that Maz has followed them into Leia’s rooms.

She glances at Poe, who shrugs. Rey takes a deep breath, preparing to speak, but the General cuts her off. “For the record, Poe, you’re not Rey’s direct commanding officer – so fraternization isn’t strictly against regulation.”

Maz cackles drily again, but Leia continues on, unconcerned at the interruption. “I sense there’s something more going on here, though. There’s something – unique between the two of you. What’s happened? What have you done?”

There’s a long pause. Rey had suspected Leia might sense something, but she’s surprised that it was this obvious to the older woman. “I think I did it, General. I tried to… show Poe what being immersed in the Force was like… And this morning…” Rey stops, lost for words.

Poe’s voice is a little tense as he picks up the thread of her thoughts. “I – I think I somehow managed to use the Force? The communicator flew across the room – into my hand.”

Leia’s eyebrows are raised so high that they threaten to disappear into her elaborate hairstyle. “Tell me exactly what it is you did to try and show Poe the Force, Rey.”

Rey is surprised at how shaky her breath is as she pauses to try and find the right words to explain. “I, I didn’t want to invade Poe’s mind. He’s been violated enough for four lifetimes.”

Leia winces at this statement; it was her son who had done the violating.

Rey continues, the words flowing out of her now with uncanny certainty. “But Poe wanted to be shown. So, I did. Instead of invading his mind, I drew him out. I held his mind in mine and showed him the way into the Force through me.”

A small, sharp, indrawn breath from Leia is the only sound to follow this pronouncement. “There were rumors – Luke told me in the early days of the New Academy…”

Maz interjects when Leia can’t seem to continue. “In ancient times, there were tales of Jedi who had achieved a level of Force-sensitivity so profound that they were able to awaken the latent Force-sense in others. I think you may have just stumbled upon the technique, young Jedi.”

Rey swallows, nervously. Poe, naturally, is the first to break the tension in the room with a scoff. “Latent Force-sense? In me? Leia, you know your brother tested me when I was a child. He thought I might have a small amount of sensitivity, but not nearly enough to actually harness the Force!”

The General rolls her eyes so dramatically that Rey has to bite back a laugh. “Poe, it’s long past time that you acknowledged that you wouldn’t be able fly the way you do without at least a little Force-Sensitivity. It seems to me that Rey has just… Opened you up a little more. Awakened it in you, made you more aware of it so you can begin to harness it.”

Poe is still shaking his head disbelievingly when Maz interjects again. “Close your eyes, flyboy. Feel it. It’s always been there…”

Those words are horribly familiar, and Rey shivers with the memory of her first encounter with the Force – touching Luke’s saber on Takodana. Poe looks around at them all incredulously before he sighs in exasperation and does what Maz told him to do. “Reach out,” Rey finds herself saying, “What do you see?”

There is a long moment of silence, then Poe’s breath catches. “I see… _You,_ sweetheart. _Stars_... It’s like you’re… You’re made of light…”

Rey flushes and the two older women share a knowing look. 

“There’s… something else,” Poe whispers, and her heart clenches in fear, images of the dark place on Ahch-To flashing through her memory. The pilot, however, just opens his eyes and stares hard at Leia for a split second. After a moment, he looks away and clears his throat. 

“Never mind. It’s nothing.”

Leia ignores Poe’s odd behaviour and looks calculatingly at Rey before her face breaks into an alarmingly devious smile. “I, for one, would be curious to see if you’re able to awaken hidden Force-sensitivity in any other people. Personally, I’ve always wondered how our friend Finn managed to wield Luke’s lightsaber on Starkiller.”

For a few seconds, Rey becomes lost in the possibility that she might have the power to unleash countless Force-users with heightened powers across the galaxy – and then gives herself a little shake. That sounds a bit too much like the pride and hubris Luke warned her against. If she’s going to try and attempt to facilitate access to the Force in people with dormant, suppressed, or undeveloped sensitivity, then she knows she needs to be doing it for the right reasons.

Clearly thinking along the same lines, Leia continues: “That’s a consideration for another time, though. A power like that shouldn’t be harnessed in times of desperation. When you’ve had the time to meditate on it maybe we can explore it further. Now, if there’s nothing else?”

“Actually, General,” Rey manages to get out, “There is one more thing.”

Rey has no idea that she’s clenching her hands together with anxiety until Poe places his broad palm soothingly over her stiff fingers. It takes her a long time to find her voice, but everyone waits patiently for her to continue. “Kylo knows, Leia. About Poe and I. He saw us together and… Leia I’m so sorry. It – it’s my fault that he’s killing Force-users… If I had been more careful about keeping him out…” she finally manages to say, before crumbling into great, wracking sobs.

“Rey, sweetheart, we talked about this. Nothing he does is your fault,” Poe gently reminds her as he moves to hold her as best he can around her small, shuddering frame.

She’s lost to her grief and guilt for several minutes, only looking up when she feels a soft touch to her hair. Leia is standing before her, her face a blazon of heartbreaking compassion. 

“My dear, I am so sorry I’ve made you feel this way. When we spoke after you returned from Yavin IV, I was still reeling from what we’d witnessed at the Stormtrooper training facilities. I was so furious, and so, so sad that my boy… That he could be a part of that. And in my weakness, I gave you burden of responsibility for leaving him alive to commit more atrocities, but… Rey, Poe is right. I never should have said those things. You are not responsible for my son’s actions,” she pauses, letting her words sink in before repeating vehemently, “ _You are not responsible for my son’s actions._ Yes, we must fight him. Yes, we must try and stop him, but it’s Ben and only Ben who has to answer for his deeds. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Rey whispers.

The General’s eyes are glistening with unshed tears as she nods slowly, still caressing the younger woman’s hair. “We expect so much of you,” she murmurs. “I wish your life had been different. I wish you didn’t have to bear the burden of destiny. You’re all so young. How did we do this when we were your age? How did we find the strength to fight?”

The young Jedi can’t help the way she leans into the touch, the way it calms something deep, deep in her bones in a way nothing ever could. 

The moment is unceremoniously broken by Maz. “You’re old as dirt, Princess, and I’m even older. How do you think _we_ find the strength to fight? These ones at least have youth on their side,” she cracks, and the other three all let out surprised laughs.

The elderly yet incredibly spry alien claps a hand to Rey’s shoulder, the highest she can reach even with Rey seated, before crowing: “You’re going to teach that boy a lesson, Jedi. Make no doubt about it. You’ve got spirit, and I like you. That’s all you’ll need to knock the spit out of him.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Leia agrees. “Now, Rey, we have an hour before we lift off. Dameron, you’ve got the same before you have to brief the pilots. I suggest you use the time to say your farewells.”

~~

As the Jedi and the pilot enter Poe’s quarters, Rey braces herself for all of the objections she suspects are lurking just below the surface of Poe’s enduring silence. However, none come. When she turns to face him, he’s looking at her with an unreadable expression, silently observant of her guarded body language.

“I want to tell you something, Rey. I know you already know a lot of this story, but I want you to hear it from me.”

She couldn’t be more shocked, frankly. Now is the time Poe has chosen to speak about the events on the _Raddus?_ Unsure of what to expect, she sits down on the edge of his bunk and pats the mattress next to her. “I’m listening,” she says, quietly.

What else can she do but listen?

Poe crosses the floor in measured steps and sits softly on the bed beside her. “I got myself into a lot of trouble, sweetheart. Frankly, it’s a miracle I’m still here, let alone in Command,” He says with a sigh. “I don’t think you need the play-by-play, but suffice it to say, I made some really bad decisions because I didn’t know how to trust that there are other ways to victory than going out in a blaze of glory. I made the choices I did because I believed it would save the Resistance. But if I had stopped and listened for just a few minutes, things might have turned out differently. I don’t know for sure.”

Poe pauses, obviously struggling to articulate the point that he’s leading up to. Rey slips her hand into his. With the contact, she’s surprised not to feel conflict within Poe, but a grounded, certain core instead. 

“Today I stopped and listened. I listened to you, and I listened to Leia. I can’t say I liked everything I heard, and I can’t say I’m happy about you putting yourself in danger again, but I trust you, and I trust Leia.”

Rey’s heart feels like it is swelling painfully in her chest, and she has to swallow around a sizeable lump in her throat. 

“What I need now is for you to trust yourself and trust the General. If you do that, then I know you won’t fail. You’ll come back to me. Because to me, sacrifice isn’t the way to victory, this is. We’re fighting for people like Finn, who were never given a choice. We’re fighting for people like Rose, who deserve to have families. We’re fighting for kids like you, who deserve to grow up knowing love. We’re fighting for this, for you and me. And we’re fighting to save Ben.” 

Poe suddenly grips her hand tightly, turning so he can look her in the eye. “And I don’t know how I know this, sweetheart, but _I know we’re going to win._ For all the people who can’t fight for themselves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a couple of days since Rey and Poe slept together the first time, and they're trying to figure themselves out. Rey takes her final flight test to fly x-wings, and passes with flying colours. This impresses Poe so much that he initiates a tryst in a supply closet with Rey. They are unfortunately interrupted by Kylo Ten, who can somehow see Poe, and Poe can somehow see him.
> 
> The incident really shakes them both up, but especially Rey, who believe that Kylo will go off the deep end because he wants Rey for himself. They agree to tell Leia about it as soon as they can, and then they go about the rest of their normal business for the day. That night, Rey sneaks into Poe's quarters and they make love.


End file.
